I swallow a few times before biting the side of my cheek, attempting not to cry in front of him. This whole thing is so ridiculous, I’ve pushed him to this and now I’m going to have a meltdown because he finally did what I’ve been telling him to do for months. What a fucking psycho I am.
“You okay?” he asks casually before sipping his tea. I just nod and give him a tight smile.
“So, how long ago did you meet?” I croak out. From what he’s saying it already seems serious.
“It’s actually just come up on a year.”
A year? And he never mentioned her to me.
Despite what I’m sure is a look of astonishment on my face, Owen keeps talking, his voice animated.
“I could tell she was hesitant at first, and she’s got some baggage, but I’ve just come to realize none of that matters. You see, I can read her like a book and have managed to know when she’s bullshitting me. So, I decided to just take charge.”
“Yeah,” I respond, not sure if I’m even listening anymore. He’s known this girl a year and never mentioned her. The need to cry hits me all over again.
“Plus, did I mention she has the best little girl in the entire world? Cutest kid, I swear.”
He’s dating someone with a kid! I stop my mind mid-thought, my head snapping up. A cheeky smile flashes across his face.
The asshole is talking about me. He’s fucking talking about me!
“Catching on yet?” he asks, leaning forward, taking my hands in his own. I try to blink away the tears, but he catches one that falls.
“I can’t keep letting you push me towards other people when we both know the only one each of us wants is right here. Rosie doesn’t take away from you, Lottie. She only adds to everything that makes you incredible.”
I can’t help but hiccup, my mind catching up to the carnage that was my chest only moments ago. The fucking fear of thinking I’d lost him without fully giving him a chance.
“You scared me,” I whisper.
“I’m sorry,” he says, running his hand across my own.
“No, Owen, you don’t get it,” I whisper, surprised he can still hear me. “It scared me because you mean everything to me.”
He inhales quickly, appearing to have an internal battle with himself before he clearly says fuck it and rushes toward me. I accept it this time, meeting him halfway as his strong arms lock around me. I inhale his scent, needing that extra reminder that he’s still here, that he’s okay.
“You mean everything to me too, Lottie. You both do.”
His breath is warm against my shoulder, comfort overtaking me as I nuzzle closer to him. We stand like this for a few minutes, both seemingly needing the closeness of one another. Owen finally pulls back, looking down at me.
“Lottie, I know we said if things were different we would give us a shot, but I don’t want them to be different. I don’t want to miss another moment with you because we’re scared of the unknown.”
“What are you saying, Owen?”
He shakes his head, smiling. “I’m saying I’m sick of pretending I don’t want more with you. I’ve never met someone more outspoken, honest, and caring than you, and you set my mind on fire constantly. I know it isn’t traditional to start something when you’ve got a newborn, but nothing about us is conventional. I want us to be more, if you’re willing.” He looks me in the eyes, a slight dash of panic on his face, as if he fears I’ll reject him. And who knows, if today had never happened I might not have had the courage to give this a go, but it did.
“I know this situation isn’t something anyone would sign up for, and I can’t give you everything you deserve,” I begin.
It’s his turn to hold up his hand, silencing me. “I wouldn’t change this for the world, Lottie. I want to be here; no one is forcing me. I want to be here for you and your daughter, and nothing would make me happier.”
My throat tightens, tears prickling at my eyes. “You have no idea how much that means to me, Owen. She’ll be lucky to know someone as honorable and strong as you. I’m lucky to know you.”
“So, is that a yes?”
I shudder before nodding. My heart clenches at the words, wanting nothing more than to accept him into my life fully, but I know I’m not there yet. He isn’t her dad despite how much I want him to be. Maybe, who knows down the line that could change, but for now I still have to be cautious, not for myself, but for her.
“My life is a whirlwind of mess and even more clutter than before, but I’m excited for it. And stepping into a relationship is probably the worst idea ever right now, but I can’t seem to say no. So, if you’re sure you can handle it, then I’m willing. But I need you to promise me, if it is ever too much, you tell me. You’re allowed to walk away.”
“I don’t want to—”
“I need you to promise me, Owen.”
He nods. “I promise if it’s too much I’ll walk away.”
Although the words hurt, they’re what I need to seal the deal. Without thinking of how terrible this idea probably is and that it will probably end in tears before bedtime, I lean forward on my tippy toes, my hands going to Owen’s shoulders. He clues in, wrapping his arms around my waist as I connect my lips to his. It’s every bit as explosive as I expected, every bit as magical. My heart races as I link my fingers through his hair and we invade one another’s senses.
As if we’ve done it a million times, warmth floods my system as he pulls me closer, deepening the kiss. A cry breaks out from the monitor, alerting
