I hear Stana and Em laughing before I nod, knowing he will need to provide us with entertainment if he’s in here.
“How about a song?” I ask them all. Owen nods, clueless as to what I’m about to do, as I pull out my iPhone.
“Ooh, can you play Lady Gaga’s new one?” Em asks, but I shake my head.
“I’ve actually got a song just for Owen here. I reckon he’s gonna like it.” His head bolts up as if he’s heard the mischief in my voice, his eyes narrowing. A cheeky smirk overtakes my mouth.
I press Play.
“Fancy” starts blasting through the Bluetooth speaker I have, and Stana and Em both look at me with curious expressions before getting into the song, moving and shaking while still unpacking my shit for me.
Owen gives me a challenging look before he stands.
“Isn’t this your part?” I ask him as Iggy begins to rap. I don’t think he’ll do it in front of the girls, but boy, I shouldn’t underestimate him because it seems like all this boy does is surprise me.
He opens his mouth and starts spitting the rap, giving me the pleasure of seeing him dance too. I hear the girls laughing behind him but don’t turn to see; I’m too engrossed in him.
Eventually I give up and go to him, showing off my best, worst moves. The four of us are a laughing mess when the chorus comes on, screaming it at the top of our lungs.
When the song is finally over, we find Ali and Reeve in the doorway.
“Uh, are you guys okay?” Reeve asks, which earns him a chuckle from Ali.
Owen pulls me into him, still grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Never been better, mate.”
A week later Owen and I are relaxing after a long week of work. These days it feels as if all he does is work late, but despite my wanting to spend time with him, I understand.
After only getting home ten minutes before Rosie’s bedtime, he offered to put her down. He was grinning when he went in yet when he returns, the smile on his face is no longer prominent.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as I grab his hand and lead him to the couch. I hand him a beer before taking a sip of my wine.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about, but I don’t want you to get upset.” He leans forward, placing the cold drink on my coffee table. I cross my legs and face him.
“What is it?”
He lets out a breath. “It’s about Beck.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. I’m over the phase of hatred and anger. It’s just pure annoyance that we even have to bring him up anymore.
“Okay?” I say, attempting to keep my voice neutral.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I know you haven’t heard from him at all, and I know it’s been nearly a year. But what is there to stop him from trying to come back into the picture and potentially trying to get custody?”
My hand tightens on my glass, the chill from it sending a shiver down my spine. The thought has always lingered at the back of my mind. Despite thinking Beck wouldn’t do it, I also have to acknowledge I clearly don’t know him as well as I thought I did.
“Hey,” he says, reaching forward and linking his hand with my own. “I’m not saying this to hurt you or upset you, but it’s crossed my mind a few times.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m not upset. To be totally honest, it has crossed my mind a few times too. I don’t know for sure if he would want to be a part of Rosie’s life, but I feel pretty confident that he won’t. Either way, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to a lawyer, make sure he signs his rights away.”
Owen places his hand on my arm. “Can I ask something?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it seeing him you’re dreading? Because we can serve him with papers and you never have to deal with him again.”
Owen always seems to know what I don’t say aloud. Doesn’t that tell me everything?
“I don’t want to see him,” I admit. “But it’s not because I’m still holding onto old feelings and can’t let go. It simply comes down to the fact that I’d probably lose my shit and punch him. And he’s not worth spending a night in jail for.”
Owen chuckles lightly. “I feel like I might do the same thing.”
It’s so strange to me, Stana being the only one to have met Beck despite him being such a huge part of my life for years, being Rosie’s dad. But is he really her dad if he doesn’t show up? Doesn’t that make him more of a sperm donor?
“It’s weird,” I start. “I gave that guy everything and he just fucked me over royally. I’m sure you think I’ve got terrible taste in men.” I quickly look at him. “Besides you, of course,” I say, grinning.
He smiles. “I think Beck deceived you. I’m sure your entire relationship wasn’t a lie, but when you needed him, he let you down in the worst way possible. It’s okay to hurt over it, Lottie. I don’t want you to ever feel like just because we’re together, you can’t talk about him.”
“Honestly, Owen, I’ve had over a year to get over it. Sure, it fucking hurt and I was angry for a really long time, depressed even, but that was more about the fact he made me feel like a fool and I was angry for Rosie. The fact that she might grow up wondering why she wasn’t enough. That’s what hurts the most.” I sniff a little, my throat tighter than it was a moment ago.
“Hey,” Owen says, voice firm. “Look at me.”
I do, but it’s through foggy eyes.
“Rosie
