“Can you come for me?” he whispered in my ear.
I didn’t answer him. His pause was brief, then he resumed his earlier frenzy. At last I felt him pulsing inside me and then he started to pull out. I held his buttocks with both hands, pressing him deeper and telling him not to stop. I accepted every drop unconditionally.
Afterward, he collapsed onto my chest and we caught our breaths together. He finally looked up at me, brushed my eyebrows with his thumb, nibbling on my lips. “You should have stopped me, Shannon.”
I shook my head, brave to let him see my tears. “I wanted it too, just this way. Because what I think I have here with you is real, and I’ve thought a lot about it. Marco, for however long it lasts, we belong together right now. Here. I’m not going to let her take any of that away. It’s just us.”
He turned his head as if carefully considering my words. Heck, I didn’t even believe it myself. Evaluation and calculation were ruminating inside his brain. I knew he was trying to figure out if he could trust what I said.
He frowned. “It’s still not how I want to treat you. You deserve more.”
“I would have stopped you, and you would have honored my request. For me, Marco, you were never out of control, and I trust you. As crazy as it feels, I do trust you.”
I was looking for another word that wasn’t appropriate and I stuck to my guns and reverted to the safe Shannon who wasn’t going to press him, even though I was his completely.
Then he asked me, “How did all this come about?” He was still nibbling on my neck, putting his tongue in my ear, biting my earlobe, making me ticklish. I loved the intimacy between us, as if we’d been lovers for decades.
“I saw her interviewed on another program yesterday. I had no idea you were going to call, to come here. I asked my Program Manager if I could also do an interview because I did want to do one on your project anyway. And I guess I was also a little bit curious about her.”
“Did you satisfy your curiosity?” he whispered.
“I have no right to say it, but she’s not good for you.”
He stared back down at me without moving a muscle.
He was beginning to make me nervous, so I continued explaining, hoping he was as calm about it as he seemed.
“But I did it so I could begin to do a piece on your work, this project. Did I hope that somehow it would lead to you? I’d have to answer that question with a yes. But if I’d have known about you coming here, that you did want to see me again, I never would have set this up. And now I’m very sorry. But trust me, Marco. She is not part of our relationship. She belonged to the man you no longer are. I have this one,” I said as I pressed my hand against the tat of the sun on his chest over his heart. “For however long you’ll grant me access. I want this. I want us.”
He watched me and after a brief few seconds, placed his hand over mine.
“You be careful, Shannon. She’s dangerous.”
“Yes, I already know that.”
He angled his head. “So, you’ve met her already?”
I didn’t want to answer.
“She was the person you were with last night when I called?”
I wasn’t proud of my answer, but this wasn’t the time to start lying to him. “Unfortunately, yes.”
“And you don’t think she knows?” His voice was beginning to raise. “If she could hear my voice—”
“No, Marco. She didn’t. It was one of the most awkward moments of my entire life. I promise you, I kept that phone tight to my ear.”
“Because she’ll hurt you if she can. You know that, right?”
I nodded.
“She knows I’m out to get her. She’ll hurt you to get to me, Shannon.”
“I’m not a part of that war, and, like I said, she has no standing, no place in this relationship. Tell me you agree and understand that. I need to hear it. Or, am I wasting my time?”
It was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to ask.
“What do you think?”
I couldn’t tell him that I’d known him for over fifteen years, followed his career and how he lived because I’d studied it. And I knew he wouldn’t just use me and walk away, but he didn’t know that. I knew I’d have to do the reveal about Em some day and probably soon before we got too involved, but today wasn’t that day. But if we became a couple, a real couple, it would have to be done. Right now, I wasn’t sure what we were except a bright new beginning of something magic.
“I’m right where I want to be, Marco. I think you feel the same.”
“I want this too,” he whispered. “No more secrets, Shannon, okay?”
He must have felt my body flinch, but I softened it with a lazy smile. God, I was being such a good actress, or I hoped I was anyway. Because I really did want this to work, and I prayed that somehow he’d forgive me when it came to Em.
His face broke into a smile. “I guess you like to live a little on the dangerous side of life, maybe a little like me, then. You’re an adrenaline junkie too. Not a drama queen. Is that what you’re saying?”
“I’m responsible for all this, yes. But did I plan it that way? Hell no. I’m not going to try to cover up
