I leaned back, and couldn't bring myself to look at Julie. I focused in on the stars, staring at each one, and licking my lips.
“There was this one day, nothing special happened. I came home from school, did my chores, my homework, and I was watching TV when she came home from the diner.
“She didn't slam the door, or start yelling at me. I didn't even know anything was wrong,” I told Julie, finally looking at her. She just stared at me, her hand holding mine, her eyes doing the same. “She was gone for a while, and I thought she was probably just changing, or cooking dinner. But I heard the screen door shut, and I looked for her from the couch, but I didn't see her. I thought maybe she had to get something from the shed, or she had forgotten something out back.
“I got up, and I walked out. I called her name, but I didn't see her. I started walking to our shed, because the door was open. I made it two steps out of the house before she hit me,” I replied.
Julie, being strong, held me. Her arms wrapped around me, and they squeezed me tightly. I held her tightly, and I made sure I could continue without freaking out. I made sure I could tell her this without breaking down.
Julie moved back, and she kept her hands on my face, her eyes watching me as I continued. “I think she hit me with a shovel. That was what the police said, all I know was that when she hit me, I completely spaced out for a minute. Everything went black, and when I opened my eyes, she was dragging me into the shed by my hair. I tried to fight, but I didn't really make much of an effort.
“All I could really do was watch. She threw me on the ground, and then she doused me with gas. I could smell it so bad. I thought surely my blood was about to be replaced with it, that was how bad it smelled. I could taste it, and see it, and feel it.
“And then she lit a match, and she dropped it. I tried rolling, and I screamed, but it seemed like forever before someone finally but out the actual fire. I could still feel it though, and sometimes, when I go to sleep, I think I can still feel it.”
I licked my lips, but my mouth had gone completely dry. “The entire time, she had stood there and watched, like a robot. When they had picked her up, she didn't deny it. She went off spouting things about being unclean, and filthy, and they sent her to a facility where she could be monitored until she was well. I guess she's okay now,” I said, but the bitterness flooded my words.
I laughed slightly, feeling myself beginning to break. “I'm glad that she can be okay. You know? She can scar me and break me, and I have to live with it, but she can go to a padded room for five years and come out when she convinces everyone that she's not going to set her son on fire again,” I said.
My mind had convinced me that I was okay, but when Julie wiped a tear from beneath my eye, I realized I wasn't. I was angry, and frustrated, and ready to explode.
“I know that this all sucks,” Julie told me, her fingers caressing my cheek. “But she never broke you. You survived, and you came out strong, and beautiful, and perfect, and she will always be sick and cruel, and she'll have to answer for what she did to you,” she told me.
Her words, the ones that she used to make me feel better now, were the same ones I would have yelled about a few months ago. I would have screamed they weren't true, and she was lying.
“Don't worry about the things you can't change, Falon. I'll never leave you alone. We'll get through this and then all this pain will make sense.”
“I hope you're right.”
She smiled. “If not, you can hold me responsible.”
“You put me back together, Julie. You are the only reason I'm not dead,” I told her, touching her cheek.
She smiled, but shook her head. “No, just a piece in the complicated puzzle that is Falon Walker. God kept you safe, and He lead you to me, so we could be each others glue.”
I laughed slightly at that, and Julie used the opportunity to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen without my knowledge. She was smiling as she did so.
“I'm glad you texted me tonight. I needed you too,” she told me, and I reached forward to touch her face.
“What's wrong?”
She shrugged. “I'm not sure. I guess I’ve just been think a lot about something Liam said,” she told me.
I grinned. “Liam said something worth thinking about?” I asked.
Julie laughed and gave me a 'sure-whatever' shrug. “I was thinking about his idea of a road trip,” she told me, and when my smile faltered, she widened her eyes and quickly began rambling. “Just think about it. I'm not going to take anymore chemo so I'm just a sitting duck right now. While we're gone, I could really think about everything without my parents over my shoulder, or a doctor in my ear. I could actually relax, and see things that I've always wanted to see, just in case things come to an end.”
“Your parents would flip out,” I told her, hoping she was somehow joking, but by the grin on her face, that wish would go unanswered.
“And they wouldn't if they found out I snuck out to be with you tonight?” she asked. The question did make sense. “I'm tired of being held
