She busied herself by boiling the yellow pond lily roots before peeling them. She added them to a nice rabbit stew and placed the pot just far enough from the fire to keep it warm but not boil. While the lily roots were cooking, Granny B made a green salad from sheep sorrel, mustard, and watercress. The hot bacon dressing was made with twelve strips of bacon, one and a half cups of sugar, three teaspoons of starch that she’d made from biscuitroot, and a quarter cup of water. Granny B didn’t have any vinegar, but the dressing was pretty good without the bitter vinegar.
Roasted parsnips were the only side dish due to the lack of time to prepare much more. Granny B was upset that Jackie hadn’t come back as planned. She hoped Jackie had found a great source of food and would be forgiven. She looked around the cooking area and spent a few minutes to make sure she didn’t mix any poisonous foods with the edibles. Granny B thought, This will be one hell of a good lecture on edible and non-edible plants. She never heard the Hogans slipping up on her.
***
Grant Hogan said, “Zeke, go take a look on the left side of the cabin. Carl, take the right side. This is too easy with only an old defenseless woman to get rid of to take this cabin.”
They were only gone a few minutes when they reappeared. “No one else is here.”
“Let’s go see what’s for dinner.”
*
Chapter 15
Granny B’s land – Granny B’s cabin in the hills below the cave.
Granny B heard them a bit too late to hide, so she played it cool. She turned toward them with her hand on the butt of her .45 Colt, which was hidden under her shirttail. There were six of them. An older man, three young men, two young women, and a teenaged girl stood before her. All of them had guns pointed at her.
Granny B moved her hand slowly back in front of her. “I know my cookin’ is world-famous, but no one ever tried to steal it from me. Y’all put yer shootin’ irons away and join me for supper. My husband and grand kiddos should be joining us in an hour or so. Come on! Don’t just stand there gawking. Y’all have a seat, and I’ll finish cookin’.”
Grant Hogan sniffed the air, and his mouth watered. “I guess we’ll join you. Come on over and sit a spell. Move it.”
Grant grabbed a spoon and sneaked a quick taste of the rabbit vegetable soup. “Damn, that’s so good it’ll make your tongue smack your brains.”
Granny B whacked his hand with the end of a long wooden spoon. “Now, just ya wait a minute or two until the mexican cornbread is ready.”
“You’re a feisty old broad.”
“I might be feisty. Some folks say I’m a nasty bitch. But call me old again, and I’ll tan your hide just like a whimpering schoolboy.”
Grant looked stunned. “I believe you would.”
Grant’s family swarmed over the table as Granny B finished preparing her twigs, leaves, and foraged food items. She placed several bowls of salad on the table and drizzled the hot bacon dressing on the greens. She gave a bowl and fork to each and poured them a glass of sweet tea to wash it down.
“Now, y’all eat up. I’m finishing my vegetable stew and cornbread, and they should be ready by the time you finish your salad. Don’t worry about my family because as you can see, I have plenty of food left,” Granny B chuckled.
Grant’s grandson took a small bite. “This is damned good. We need to slaughter one of those cows we stole and have this old bitch grill some steaks to go with this salad.”
Granny B retorted. “Oh! No! You won’t want a steak after you eat my stew.”
She brought a bowl of hot steaming rabbit vegetable stew to each of the family and added a piece of cornbread for each one of them. She sat on the top of the short wall with her .45 Colt in her hand behind her. She’d placed herself so she could drop behind the wall for cover when the shooting started.
“This is the best meal I’ve had since the damned commies nuked us. We might have to keep you on to cook for us.”
They ate like pigs at a slop trough. Granny B was surprised they even got a taste of her cooking. That kind of pleased her because several of the ingredients were a bit bitter. Grant belched, and he said, “That’s not bad manners. It’s just darned good food.”
Granny could now hear Grant’s stomach growling. Grant belched, farted, and then his eyes flew wide open. Granny could hear their stomachs churning from ten feet away. One of the young men jumped up and ran toward the outhouse. The light finally came on in Grant’s brain, and he raised his pistol. “Ya done poisoned us.”
Granny B dropped behind the wall a split second before the wild shot hit the cabin twenty feet away. The man dropped his gun as he tried to run to the outhouse ahead of the others. Grant Hogan ran a few steps, crashed into his son, and started cussing. “I shit myself. I haven’t shit …”
Grant Hogan felt a severe pain deep in his bowels as he watched his whole family struggling to drop their drawers. Granny B couldn’t help but chuckle as she watched them all drop their guns so they wouldn’t
