In the morning, Aria silently left their room before Lex woke up.
She knew that he told her he'd take her to the school, and while she wanted him to, she didn't really want to talk to or look at him after last night.
Yeah, it was hot. Yeah, she'd wanted it.
But the wine had made her feel more confident than she actually was. How the hell was she supposed to look him in the eye after what they'd done?
She knew there was some sexual tension between them. She'd felt it for the first time that night they fought in the training area. But she never thought it'd go anywhere, even if they were married.
And what the hell was she supposed to do now? What was he thinking, how did he feel?
What if it was all just casual and physical to him?
She spent her day going out of her way to avoid him. Simply because she didn't know how to process the feelings she was having. She needed some space to think. She didn't even go to the throne room for meals. In fact, she spent the entire day by herself in a secluded part of the palace, sneaking food from the kitchen in between meals.
She waited until she knew it was well past midnight before going back to their room.
Tip-toeing into the room, she quietly got ready for bed after taking a little peek at him. His back was turned, so she wasn't sure if he was asleep or not.
She crawled into bed and turned on her side.
"So, is there a reason you've been avoiding me all day?"
Shit.
"What? No. I-I just had a busy day," she lied. It sounded terrible, even to her. There was no way he'd believe it.
"Right," he sighed, turning on his back. "If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to. But you don't have to avoid me."
She didn't know what to say to that.
"Don't make things weird between us. It happened."
"I'm not trying to," she finally said, staying by her side. "But it is a little weird."
"It doesn't have to be. It happened. Haven't you ever-" he started but didn't finish, letting the sentence trail off.
Wow. So it was totally casual for him?
"It's not that I regret it...." she began, still not turning to face him. She felt too embarrassed to do so, especially now that he'd confirmed her suspicions about it being casual for him. She figured that he'd done things like that before. But it wasn't like that for her. The couple of people she'd been physical with were people she'd had feelings for.
"Well, I didn't think you would, if the way your legs shook was anything to go by."
She could practically hear the smirk on his face before she turned to see it. That fucking asshole.
"Yeah, well, don't get too excited," she said, a little pissed off, "I was drunk. It won't happen again."
"Wow. Are you really implying that it only happened because you were a little drunk?"
"Well, it sure as hell wasn't your charm!" she snapped. She felt a little bad about it, a second later, because truthfully, she wasn't really that drunk.
But he didn't look phased or upset at what she was implying. He actually smiled.
"Well, just for that," he began, "I'm gonna make you beg for it before I actually fuck you."
She felt her cheeks flame.
"If the day comes when I beg you to fuck me, you're gonna have a lot bigger problems. Because on that day, hell will have actually frozen over," she sneered.
"We'll see about that," he said.
She couldn't remember why she'd been so attracted to him. He was nothing but an arrogant, cocky asshole.
Fuck Lex Mills was the last thing she thought before falling asleep that night.
He didn't bring that night up again, and she didn't either. She tried not to think about it; she hoped that the memory would fade.
She stopped trying to get to know him better.
Yeah, he told her that he cared about her. And she knew she cared about him, but she was pretty sure they cared for one another for different reasons. What had happened between them was purely physical for him. The way he talked about it like it was nothing made her sure of it.
And the fact that he didn't bring it up again or try to hold her stopped any second-guessing she'd been having about his intentions. Secretly, she'd been hoping that he'd reach out. Hold her. Maybe even kiss her and take things slow.
The realization that he obviously didn't want that made her sad for days.
I never asked for you to love me, he'd said that night at the house. I needed this alliance. They'd become something like friends, and Aria had to accept that that's all they'd ever really be. He didn't see her in any other way. Not in the way she'd wanted him to.
He didn't notice how withdrawn she'd become after what had happened, and even if he did, he didn't say anything. After a week, Aria had to accept that it was a one-time thing, that it really only happened because they were a little drunk, and he'd found her attractive that night.
She spent her days either at the school or in the palace, teaching and making lesson plans. It made it easier to avoid Lex and what had happened, so she couldn't complain.
But at night, when she knew that he was only inches away, the feelings would resurface again, and she considered reaching out first. But each time she decided to go for it, she stopped herself. Thinking about the way he brushed it off. She acted that way too, but the difference was that she only did that because of what he said, what he implied.
He had no problem talking to her or looking her in the eye. She was the one who got all tongue-tied when he smiled at her or looked at her for a little longer than necessary.
She did
