“I know that. That’s the reason I never mentioned it before, but after hearing about what else has happened, I have to express my concern.”
Lucy pulled herself up straight. “I disagree. She’s showing her normal disregard for anyone except herself by indulging in these little fits of pique. She’ll come back when she sorts herself out and until then, Alex, we’re here to look after you. Heaven knows you’re safer here with us.”
“I don’t think you understand, Gran. Mom can’t help what’s happening to her.”
“He’s right, love.” Frederick gave Alex a sad smile of agreement. “I’ve gone along with you for long enough, Lucy. You convinced me that she’d run off again, but I think we should get some help. Last time it was just after Stephen died. She’s been great since she’s been here as Alex says. I personally think she’s better and this needs looking into.”
“You’re wrong, all of you. Don’t you remember what she was like as a teenager Frederick, the way she carried on and romanticised everything? The boyfriends and the total disregard for her own personal health, getting involved with those terribly unsuitable men. They were so much older than she was.” She shivered in distaste. “She has you wrapped around her little finger now as much as she did then.” She lifted her nose, glanced down at them, showing her disdain, and Hamish felt sorry for Alex witnessing his grandmother’s thoughts about his mother. “Look at you, Hamish. Ready and willing to do anything, just to spend time with her and Alex. Makes me sick that you can’t see how deranged she really is.”
“That’s not fair, Gran. Mom needs help, not you behaving like this. You weren’t there when Dad died. You have no idea how well she coped to begin with.”
“I saw more than enough when we arrived. Do you have any idea how hard it was for us to come back to Australia and leave you with her in that condition? I went so far as to try to try and talk her into letting you come back with us so you weren’t in any danger.” She shuddered. “None of her so called friends wanted anything to do with her. She’d alienated everyone with her dramatics.”
“How could you say that? Mom would never do anything to hurt me.” Tears welled in his eyes and Hamish put his arm around Alex’s shoulders. “It wasn’t that way at all. None of our friends understood and she couldn’t be bothered explaining her feelings to them. You know what she’s like. Personal is personal.”
“I understand only too well, Alex. But America helped ruin her, my only child. Once she got involved with that newspaper, she changed. Prior to that we at least had a cordial relationship.”
“Now that’s not entirely true, Lucy. You and Billie always had a difficult time. Becoming a journalist was one of the best things she ever did. She was made for it, digging out the best stories and getting people to talk.” Frederick reached over and patted his grandson on the shoulder.
“I don’t agree. I gave my life trying to make her into someone worthwhile. She threw it all in my face and scarpered overseas, with your blessing I might add. And now you all expect me to rush out and fix things?”
“If you don’t do something, I will, Lucy. I’m prepared to drive up to Singleton myself. In fact, I think I’ll leave first thing in the morning.” Hamish dug his hands into his pockets.
“I’m going with you.” Alex beseeched his grandmother. “Please, Gran?”
“If we do that the whole story will come out, Frederick and we’ll be made a laughing stock. It was bad enough when Stephen died and they tied her episodes to us. They dragged the family name through the mud then because of your connections. Are you prepared for that all over again?” Her hands were clasped tightly together on her knee, knuckles white against the dark navy of her skirt. The fine lines around her mouth paled and deepened.
She straightened her shoulders and blinked away the moisture that rushed to her eyes. Hamish glanced at Frederick and a look passed between the two of them.
“The scandal I’ve been doing my best to hide will ruin us.”
“No it won’t. There’s no reason to think otherwise. Nobody cares about personal issues. I think you put too much emphasis on what other people think, Lucy. My parents are dead and I really don’t give a fig what anyone says. I doubt they cared as much as you think they did.” Frederick moved over and sat down on the couch beside her, taking one of her hands in his. “Let it go, darling. And then we can go looking for Billie. You’ve held a grudge against her for far too long and it’s not doing your nerves any good carrying on like this. What do you say?”
For the longest time she studied at her husband in silence. Eventually she spoke to her grandson. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do it.”
“Gran, we have to try. I know Mom wouldn’t leave me without saying something.”
“No, I won’t do it, she’s lost it before, Alex. As much as it might pain you to hear that, you know it’s true. If only she’d done as I suggested and gone into medicine or law like her father. But no, she had to insist on digging up the dirt on people because it was so much more interesting to meddle in other people’s lives.” She pressed her lips together. “She’s doing this on purpose, just like she’s done before.”
“No, she isn’t. There is an explanation for everything but you won’t listen anyway. You never do when it comes to Mom. I knew what was going on all the time when we were in San Francisco. I got scared and called the police when she didn’t come home. It wasn’t her fault. I’ve told you that.”
