“I’m not going to let him take it away from me. By rights, it’s mine. I intend to have it come what may. Mama would have wanted it to come to me, she always said so.”
“Where will that leave us?” He rose from the bed and reached for his trousers, pulled them on before he stepped over to her. He slid his arms around her waist, smoothed his hand across the tiny bump barely showing.
“I’ll marry you, regardless of his wishes. Let me arrange the lawyer first. I doubt it will take long to organise if I push them. Then we’ll make our move and he won’t be able to do anything about it.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?” He kissed the pale skin of her shoulder and she trembled under his touch.
“I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you.”
She cupped the small life growing in her belly and smiled to herself. Papa would have a fit when he found out, but if she played her cards right there wouldn’t be anything he could do. Her stomach rumbled and a woozy feeling washed over her. The morning sickness had been the first sign that she was carrying a child.
All the more reason to settle the estate now so they could marry without Papa stepping in and ruining everything with his mad accusations and swinging moods.
“I need some air. Give me a moment.” She moved away from the summer house and took a few deep breaths, the cold air helping to keep down the urge to vomit. Her head swam and she gripped a tall sapling to help steady herself. Wilz saw stars before she dropped into a dead faint.
Chapter 23
Sydney 1980
Lucy pulled her old diary from the shoe box on the top shelf inside her closet. Nostalgia swamped her and she fought back tears. Clutching her memories, she collapsed onto the puffy cushions of the love seat by the window. She lifted the lid from the box and pulled out her diary, ran her fingers over the front of the book, the embossed flowers still colourful after all these years of being hidden away. It had been her lifeline when she was overseas serving with the Red Cross. Her only connection with the life she’d left behind.
Her room-mates had laughed at her. At the end of every shift, no matter how tired she was, she would make an entry, record her day and her thoughts. The pain she felt at having no contact with home apart from her dear Frederick. He was such a godsend. Only two dates and he was smitten with her, promising to wait until she returned to Sydney. Without his support, his constant letters and reassurance, she doubted she would have survived, especially after Lucy had been killed.
The book beckoned to her and she opened it toward the back, knowing what she would find.
15th March, 1942
Tomorrow we should arrive in Sydney Harbour. How I long to be back in my own country but despair at the same time. Will Papa be there to greet me and drag me back to the estate? I dread it but Frederick has promised to be there if work permits and take care of me once I have been demobbed. What a treasure he is. How very lucky I was to find him.
I still worry about Wilz and what has become of her. Did she manage to get Papa into care? I don’t have any news from home and that worries me. I can’t ask Frederick to step in even though I know he would do anything I asked. It isn’t his problem and I’m loath to drag him into our family’s business. Once I land and find out my next move, I will call the house and talk to Wilz. It’s been hard not hearing her voice. The eighteen months have gone fast and I know how much I’ve adjusted to a different way of life. I have grown being thrust into the hell of war. To see so much death and heartache, it would change anyone.
It’s only now that I understand why Papa has turned out the way he has. Being caught up in the horrors I’ve seen would be enough to rattle anyone’s mind. It does not in any way mean I forgive him for the way he treated Mama though. I’m merely expressing my thoughts.
I cannot wait to touch dry land, to catch up with Frederick and speak to Wilz again.
Lucy swallowed, the memories of that day swamping her, leaving her struggling for breath. For so many years she’d managed to keep those painful memories at bay until Billie brought them all back. Her dear misunderstood daughter had managed to cause more anguish than she could possibly imagine. Even though it wasn’t Billie’s fault, Lucy struggled to forgive her for reminding her of her dead sister every single day. The same eyes, the beautiful glossy dark hair and now, for opening old wounds.
She slid a fingernail under the next page and flipped it over, letting the final painful memory bloom in front of her eyes.
18th March 1941
My heart is broken, shattered into millions of pieces.
Matron called me into the office once I had come ashore, cutting short the reunion Frederick had gone to such pains to arrange. I’d tried to be positive but alas, that thought was shattered when she bade me sit down and handed me a box, a box I remembered from Wilz’s room. Her keepsake chest from beside her dressing table. I gripped it on my knee, my breath catching in my throat, knowing this wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“I’m sorry to tell you this, Miss Wallace. I was under strict instructions not to forward this to you while you were overseas but your sister died in a train crash some time ago.”
“Wilz? Dead? That cannot be.” I slumped in my chair, my
