Thank goodness she’d got Gertrude out of the way. Ernest, bless him, was such a darling man. What she’d have done without him didn’t bear thinking about.
She got up, threw the blanket back and placed her feet on the floor. Her stomach didn’t protest, and neither did her head, which she considered a good sign for a bright day ahead. It’d been hard concealing her illness from her sister and Papa, but that would no longer be an issue if today went well.
As she dressed, she noticed the parcel on the side cabinet he’d left for her. Wrapped in white tissue paper, it sat waiting. Such a sweet man, bringing her gifts. She carefully pulled away the thin wrapping and gasped at the garment inside. She didn’t have to read the enclosed card to see what it was. She knew. It was his family christening gown, the one his grandmother had made from a silk petticoat.
She lifted it up and stroked a finger over the fine stitching on the bodice. Their child would be christened in it, following his family’s tradition. She couldn’t wait.
She wrapped the gown back up and slipped it into the drawer. It would have to stay there until she had everything organised. The last thing she needed was to upset Papa.
Once she’d straightened the bed, she shut the door behind her. The dawn sun glistened on the dew dripping down from the leaves. Sunlight shone on the grass and rippled across the lake where the water birds greeted the morning. Imagine taking her child down to feed the swans as she had done when she was little.
As she stepped out onto the lawn, a hand reached out and struck her on the face. “Slut!”
Pain ricocheted across her cheek. This was it. Papa had found her out. Wilz shuffled around and tried to crawl out of his reach.
“Get up, you little whore. I didn’t raise you to sleep around. How dare you debase yourself this way! Does the family name mean nothing to you?”
She scrambled to her feet, and scuttled back, trying to keep out of his reach.
“Don’t you dare talk to me like that. I’m better than you’ll ever be. At least I protect those around me.” She stood ready for another attack and wasn’t disappointed when he lurched forward. She sidestepped him, her back to the house and faced him. Not giving in that easy.
“I’ve taken care of you all these years, raised you and your disobedient sister and what thanks do I get? One of you sleeps around and the other runs away. She would have had everything but she chose to go and work in the blood and guts of the war. Ungrateful little bitch.”
“At least she’s not scared to put her life on the line.” Panic twisted in her gut. He’d always been quiet the day after an episode. This was unusual and that made it all the more frightening.
“I fought for my country. My brother gave his life for this land to give you girls the life I thought you’d embrace. But you’re both so ungrateful.”
No, we’re not. Tired of your temper tantrums and histrionics. “Your brother gave his life to save you, Papa.”
“No. He gave his life fighting for this country.” He paused, his face blank as his mood changed. “What do you mean?”
Here we go again. “Mama told me. You’re the reason he’s dead. The reason Ernest doesn’t have a father anymore.”
“Don’t say that.” He stepped up, his face now twisted with anguish.
“Yes I will. You panicked and Uncle Reggie tried to drag you back into the trenches. He took a bullet for you.”
“No.”
“Yes. You’re the coward in this family, Papa. Not Ernest as you always say – you!”
“Stop it. It’s all lies!”
He reached out for her and she pivoted out of reach. “No it’s not. Mama told me. She told me she worried every day about you, how you snapped and she had to try to calm you. Well guess what, Papa? Not anymore. I’ve taken her place and looked after you for long enough. Today I’m calling the lawyer and the sanatorium.” You are going away once and for all. She stumbled as he grabbed a handful of her blouse.
“You can’t run all your life, Papa. You need help and I can’t do it anymore. It’s time I had a life of my own.” For my lover and our child, I will fight you to the end.
He threw her to the ground and she rolled down the hill toward the lake, the early-morning dew making the grass damp and slippery. She scrambled to her feet as he launched himself at her. The breath left her lungs as he landed on top of her. Get away from me.
He was bigger, stronger and much faster. His hand gripped her ankle and he pulled himself up over her body. “You’re no better than your mother. Thought she had me under control. I knew she loved Reggie. I loved your mother but I wasn’t enough. She wanted more. My brothers fault, not mine.
“Get off me!” She rolled further into the water and fought to keep her head up as he held her down. The madness in his eyes wasn’t the father she knew. This was a whole new level of madness. The vacant stare as if he was talking to himself. Was he aware she was there, even while he pushed her under. She clawed at the hand that held her down.
“I loved her more than he ever would have. I told him that, but he laughed at me. Even when we were in the trenches he
