“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, Del. Just give us a chance. I know you want to.” He leaned in and touched her lips with his. Nibbling gently, he wound his hand behind her head pulling her back against him. She slid her hands around his waist, letting them fall to his hips.
“I…” Del’s breath quickened as he ran his mouth down her throat, nibbling at the pulsing point below her ear.
“You’re over-thinking it. Let go and live a little.”
As his mouth worked down her collar bone, she slid her hands under his shirt, touching the rippling muscles of his stomach. The heat of her fingertips on his nipples matched the burn of his fingers as he undid her blouse. She gave in and let him guide her towards her bedroom.
“Daddy!” The high pitched wail sounded down the corridor and Delilah froze. A wave of cold water couldn’t have had a better cooling effect than that of a small child having nightmares.
“Del, I’m sorry.” Blake looked down at her, misery plain in his eyes. She could see he was torn between his daughter and the possibility of sex, until the cry came again. “I’ll be back. Please wait for me.” He stood up and adjusted his jeans.
“Maybe it was a good thing.” Del smoothed down her blouse, not wanting to make eye contact. “We should probably think about it a bit more before we get too involved and hurt each other. At least wait and see what John says.”
He turned on his heel and went to his child. Del grabbed her laptop off the side board and headed for her bedroom, avoiding looking into Lilly’s bedroom as she passed. She shut the door behind him, and leaned against it. Damn, she had almost let herself get carried away. No, she had. It was only pure chance that had stopped them. It would be so easy to get involved and if the truth be told, she already was.
The lifestyle at the farm was a far cry from the façade she’d struggled with in Sydney. Here it didn’t matter if she wore the right clothes or ate at the right restaurants. Here she was somebody in her own right with people who liked her for who she was on the inside, not what she could do for them. The difference in the two lives showed her just how false her previous life was and what real life could be.
Being the writer for a popular show gave her open doors to all of the best shows and restaurants. People went out of their way to be nice to her just in case she could do something to further their career, or make them famous—if only for a couple of minutes. Some days, that was what she craved. She was used to the shallow friendships that were the mainstay of the business. Used to it, but suddenly no longer satisfied with it.
Was she ready to swap Chanel Number 5 for Sheep Poo Eau De Toilet? Was she ready to ditch her collection of stilettos and tailored suits for steel capped work boots and dungarees? How could she possibly make a relationship work with Blake when she’d failed so badly with Peter? The issues were the same, only the setting was different.
Her job, her insecurities over children. What if he found out about what she’d done? Would he still think they had a chance? Would he still think she was mother material after choosing her career over a baby?
Blake did something to her she couldn’t deny and would love to pursue, but with her career in the balance, it was too hard to make the commitment. If she had the answers already, it would be easier, but that wasn’t the case.
There was no denying she already felt a bond with the children, especially Lilly, so she didn’t think that was what held her back. The fact that Royce was taking longer to warm to her could be part of it, if she told herself the truth. She’d never wanted kids of her own, so how the heck was she going to fall into being a mother for someone else’s? It was all too hard. Sex was one thing. Permanent commitment was another thing altogether and something that needed more consideration before she fell into bed with Blake.
Delilah cupped her hand over her stomach. The empty sensation surfaced again, the same as it had every time she gave thought to the child that she never let be. She had made the decision to terminate her unexpected pregnancy and carry on with her life. If the same thing happened now, it would be different. Back then she was just starting her career as well as trying to sort out her relationship with Peter.
Not sure he was the right man for her with his gambling and alcohol problems, she wavered over telling him. His aggressive behavior had made her nervous and the thought of raising a child with him scared her. More than once she had tried to break off the relationship, only to be pressured into trying again with unfulfilled promises to sway her.
In her line of business, Delilah was privy to insider gossip and cover ups. Too many families, children especially, had fallen foul to the effects of the Hollywood type lifestyle of parents brought on by the pressures of stardom. She had no wish to raise a child in that kind of world.
For weeks she wavered over the “what ifs” before booking into the clinic. Signing the forms had been incredibly painful for her. When it was all over, Delilah had thrown herself into her work, trying to forget what she had done, but it plagued her every day of her life. Her maternal instincts had kicked in with Lilly and Royce, but the secret she carried dug at her. Blake loved his children.
