* * *
Later that night, Del brought up the subject of Lilly’s reading again. “Blake, I know you don’t want to discuss this, but I don’t think I would be doing the right thing by you if I didn’t do my best. I found out from Sara today that your wife was also concerned about Lilly and her eyesight. Don’t you think it would be the right thing to do to have her tested?”
“You really don’t get it, do you? There is nothing wrong with my little girl!” His head throbbed and panic fluttered in his chest as he tried to deny what she said was right.
Delilah sat down as he spat the words at her, a hurt look on her face. I am such a heel! Last thing I wanted to do was hurt Delilah and look at me, snapping her poor head off.
“I have to disagree. I know she can’t make out words properly and so does her brother. Blake, there’s no shame in wearing glasses. Lots of kids do these days and only because the testing has gotten so much easier all round.” She stood again and folded her arms, looking down at him. “I can take her in, no problem.”
He dropped his head into his hands and breathed deeply. How was he going to deal with this? Having to accept his baby girl was anything but perfect left an aching hole in his gut he couldn’t mend. Brushing it off had been the only way he had coped with it until now. And Delilah was not letting it go. He didn’t know whether to tell her why he refused to deal with or not. What would her reaction be when she found out why I did it? Would she turn away as Ellie had done?
Delilah touched his hand, making him start. “It’s not a big thing.”
“Really? And how would you know? Do you have children or even experience with them apart from what you’ve done the last couple of weeks? Did you ever get teased at school because you were different? No, I thought not. Well, I know my kids and there is nothing wrong with her, nothing. Understand?”
Blake stood and glared at her before stepping to the other side of the room, thinking keeping his distance would be a good move.
“What happened to make you this angry?” He glanced up and saw the hurt on her face. His stomach clenched and the last conversation with Ellie came back to him, ringing in his ears.
“I won’t let you do it, Ellie. I won’t let you make out she isn’t perfect.”
“But honey, she is as perfect as she can be. Just because she might need glasses doesn’t take away from the fact she is our little girl and we love her. Your parents might have had issues with disabilities because of your brother, but this is different. Nobody is going to take her away from us because you admit there is something wrong. You have to let go of what they did to him and let me get help for our daughter.”
“I can’t do that. Not to her. I’m scared, Ellie.”
“For goodness sake, Blake. Grow a spine and stop being so reliant on what other people think. There is no shame in having glasses.” She grabbed her car keys and headed for the back door. “I need some time away from this. Look after the kids. I’m going for a drive into town to calm down…away from you.”
He’d watched her walk away knowing he was being unreasonable, but it was something he couldn’t help. It was the last time he had seen her and the scar was so deeply burned into his skin, no matter how wrong he knew it was, he couldn’t let go.
“My brother had Down’s Syndrome. When he was born, kids like him were still being sent away to homes to make it easier for everyone—or so they said. I tried to get my parents to keep him at home. I could look after him. He was my little brother and I loved him so much.” He sat down on the chair and tried not to see the pity in her eyes as he told the story he had held close to his heart for years. “He couldn’t see very well and would always bump into things and hurt himself. In the end, my parents couldn’t handle it any longer. They put him in a home saying it was the thing to do for all of us. I guess, looking back, it was the best thing for him. He had friends, medical care, and they even gave him glasses. It made him so happy, but I missed him. Do you know what it’s like to have half of yourself missing? That was how I felt when he wasn’t around.”
“Oh, Blake, I’m so sorry.”
“I lived in fear my kids would inherit some of his genes. Improbable I know, but I couldn’t help it. When Ellie pointed out Lilly didn’t seem to be focusing and not grasping at her fingers but to the side of her hand, I freaked out. It was like our baby couldn’t see clearly. Suddenly I was in defense mode, the same as I was with Derek. What if she was blind? What if she had a brain tumor? The thought of losing her was paramount in my mind and I couldn’t face it. I found myself moving things to her to make it easier. I realize now I only made things worse by not addressing the problem when we first noticed it. I know we would never have lost her over something as simple as a stigmatism but the fear was there, niggling at the back of my mind that it could be something worse.” He heaved a sigh of relief at finally being able to put his doubts into words. “We fought about it often but I refused to let Ellie get help, thinking I
