It was like hearing about Rake’s suicide all over again. Her world had been upturned again just when things were starting to calm down. And he wasn’t finished with her emotions yet.
Ethan pulled her into his arms and let her ride it out before giving her the next bite of information. “Mom, I have more to tell you and I’m sorry I didn’t know about this sooner.”
She stared at him, the worry in her eyes cutting him to the core.
“Noah is my son.”
She lifted a hand to her mouth, her wail piercing the air. He held her in his arms and replayed the story, baring his soul, and taking the blame for the way he’d treated Mari. “I have so much to make up for. To you as well as Mari and Noah. I can’t believe I’ve caused so much pain to everyone because I was such a jerk.”
“You were both to blame, I’m sure.”
“Come on, Mom. You know exactly how much like Dad I was. So full of myself and arrogant, such an asshole. It’s not a wonder she left. I can’t believe it took me so long to realize how bad I was.”
“You didn’t exactly have the best role model.”
“How come you stay with him? Why don’t you leave and make a life for yourself away from his bitterness? Don’t you understand how much his behavior has impacted this family?”
She looked away, thought for a moment. “Ethan, there are things that’re better left unsaid. I know your father is a hard man, but he wasn’t always that way. He has some good qualities and he works hard. He didn’t have the easiest life growing up and I know that has had an impact on him and the way he acts.”
“Mom.”
She held up her hand. “No. I see things in him that you don’t. Besides, I can’t imagine starting over again. It’s all too difficult. I just hope that age will soften him.”
“I can’t see that happening. It’ll take a miracle and I think this family has run out of them.”
“Don’t say that. Not when you don’t understand why he’s the way he is.”
“So tell me then. Tell me why he’s such a harsh person and why you’re still here, because for the life of me, I don’t understand it and, just so you know, I’m the reason all this happened. It’s not even about Dad, not really. It’s about the way I acted back then and it’s taken the last couple of days for me to realize that.”
“Rake didn’t leave just because your father was tough on him. I didn’t want him to go either, so we’re both to blame.”
“Mom, we’re all responsible for our own decisions. Even Rake. I could’ve gone too but I didn’t. I could’ve been a better boyfriend and I wasn’t. Mari left because I treated her like crap when I should’ve been looking out for her. It’s my fault and now I have to fix it. I can’t blame Dad for it any longer.” He took a deep breath, calmer now that he’d put his thoughts out in the open. “But Noah? He’s mine and I have some time to make up for. I’ve got to try and fix this.”
Her breath hitched on a sob as he brought them back to the issue at hand. “A child. My goodness, I don’t believe she kept him from me. I was her second mother. Did I really deserve to miss out on so much?”
“No, you didn’t. But I have a confession, Mom. She tried to get in touch with me. I never saw the messages.”
“Why didn’t she call me then? Tell me that.”
Ethan couldn’t. Maybe Mari was too proud to involve his parents. Maybe she was just over the way he’d treated her and didn’t really want to come back. He could hardly blame her. He was an ass and she was young and vulnerable. And she had Rake to pick up the slack, not that that was a very good excuse.
“I can’t believe it. You have a child.”
“Yeah, and he’s awesome, Mom. Such a nice kid, so polite. You’ll like him.”
This brought her head up. The look of hope in her eyes was the only thing good about this conversation so far. “Mari wants to see me?”
“You know how much she loved you. You were always so close to her. Of course she wants to see you.”
The inner torment raged inside her head. The frown lines on her forehead gave her away. “But I still don’t understand why.”
“Mom, we can go over and over this or we can move forward. We both made mistakes, but she’s home now, wants Noah to get to know us all. That has to count for something.”
His mom sighed. “Did you forgive her already, Ethan? I’m not sure I can do it that quick. She left a lot of pain behind.”
“No, I don’t think I can but I’m prepared to admit I had more than a little to do with her not coming back or making contact. You know how hopeless I am with my phone. How many have I lost never to be found again or dropped and smashed the screen then dumped it in the console of my truck? She proved to me she tried to make contact. I have to give her some credit for that at least.”
“I guess you’re right but, still, she could’ve called me.”
“Yes, she could have but she didn’t. And I know part of the reason is because she was worried about Dad and his influence over Noah because she mentioned it
