They stayed that way for a while, not moving, looking at each other. Laura felt her breath speed up and she felt a powerful longing to kiss Marcie. It grew stronger by the second. She began to press Marcie against her rhythmically and suddenly all the months of repression exploded inside her and came out as kisses on her lips. She began to kiss Marcie intensely—her face, her neck and arms, her ears, her throat. “Marcie,” she said hoarsely, suddenly holding her tight with the strength of desire. “I’ve wanted you for so long. I thought I’d die of it. Living with you, so close to you, seeing you all the time…undressing, bathing…It drove me crazy. Marcie, you’re so beautiful, so sweet. Oh, God, it feels so good to say it. You’re impossible. I want you so terribly, so terribly. You want me too, don’t you? I know it, I always knew it. Oh, Marcie, let me, let me. Don’t stop me! Please!” A note of anguish crept into her voice when Marcie began to resist her. “Please, Marcie!” she implored her.
But Marcie put her arms up and pushed hard against Laura. “Let me go!” she said. “Let me go!” And she began to cry. Laura, shocked, released her so suddenly that Marcie staggered backwards a little. She gave a cry, recovered her balance, and stared at Laura with her eyes wide for a moment. Then she turned and ran inside.
Laura stood where she was for a long time, afraid to think or feel. She had no idea how much time had passed before she dared to go inside. Had she frightened Marcie? Revolted her? Would Marcie greet her with love or hatred? As a witch or a lover? She was in a state of nervous agony when she finally gathered the strength to walk around to the penthouse door.
She opened it and walked slowly through the living room and kitchen. She pushed the bedroom door open slowly. Marcie was sitting on her bed, her back toward Laura. She had apparently sat like that without moving for some time. She turned very slowly when she heard Laura come in, and looked up at her. Laura felt her heart turn over. Marcie was so lovely, so miserable. It showed plainly in her face. Laura went to her and dropped to her knees in front of her and put her head in Marcie’s lap. And when she felt Marcie’s hand stroking her head, she wept.
“Forgive me,” she begged. “It’s your turn now, Marcie. I frightened you. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t!”
And she caught Marcie’s hand and kissed it.
“Laura,” Marcie said quietly. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks and you wouldn’t let me. Now it’s eating me up. I’m going to tell you something. And you’re going to listen.” Her voice trembled so that Laura looked up at her.
“Laura, I’m so ashamed, so ashamed.”
“Tell me, Marcie. Tell me. I’m listening now.” She searched her face anxiously.
Marcie swallowed her tears and with a tremendous effort, said, “I did an awful thing, Laur. I’ve known for a while about you.” She looked away, struggling with herself; her shame, her pity, her shaking voice.
“You—you knew?” Laura whispered, going white.
“Yes. I couldn’t help knowing. You couldn’t hide it, Laura. You couldn’t come near me without it showing—in your eyes, your face. The way you touched me, the things you said, all the crazy moods you had. You seemed afraid of me. You let things slip. You even kissed me once. I’ve been around enough to know. I knew about you.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks embarrassedly and went on, unable to look at Laura, “I should have told you. Or else I should have let it drop. But I guess it interested me. It seemed like a game. I got sort of intrigued, you might say. I even told Burr what I suspected…months ago…” She stifled a sob.
Laura’s face was colorless, tortured. Her hands were over her mouth.
“It kills me to say these things,” Marcie whispered. I did everything to earn your contempt. I can’t lie to you anymore, Laura. I even bet Burr I could make you make a pass at me.”
“No,” Laura gasped. “Oh, no—”
“He thought it was all a joke. He wouldn’t even listen to me. Until I got fed up with him and started hanging around here so much. Then he got it into his head that we were having a hot and heavy affair. I couldn’t talk him out of it. I’d gone too far for that.”
Laura turned away from her and rested her head against her own bed, too stunned, too wounded, to answer or understand half of it.
“Laura.” Marcie bent toward her. “I don’t know what crazy imp gets hold of me sometimes. I swear I don’t. I never even wondered what I’d do if it ever came to this, if you ever tried to make love to me. I guess I thought it would be a game, like everything else. I guess I thought it would be a lot of kicks. Or just a stupid silly thing that wouldn’t really matter. To either of us. I guess I didn’t think at all.
“And just now—on the roof—when you told me how you felt, and how you wanted me—Laura, I had no idea you could love like that. I didn’t know it could be beautiful, or touching, or tragic. I thought it was mostly play-acting. I thought the only real love was between men and women. But you made it beautiful, Laura. I don’t know what else to call it. I’m ashamed. Clear through my soul. I played you for a fool, and all the while you were an angel.”
Laura began to sob.
“I’d do anything for you, Laur,” Marcie whispered. “Anything to make it up. If
