They lay in absolute silence for a minute. Suddenly Beth rolled over and tickled her hard in the ribs. Laura gave a little scream.
“Well, thank God,” said Beth, laughing. “I was afraid you were dead. Don’t you wiggle when you get in bed, Laur?”
“Yes—” She caught her breath. “No—” She didn’t trust her voice, her thoughts, her body. She felt a great rush of warmth through all her limbs, electrifying, wild, radiating from the powerful thrust of her heart. “Oh, Beth…Beth…” she said, helplessly, drowned in it. Her voice shook and she realized that she was holding Beth’s hands, that she had caught them to stop the tickling and held them still, held them hard against her ribs. Beth felt her quiver. “Laur, you are cold.” She knew she wasn’t. She wanted to make her talk. Charlie had left her in a state of strange elation that made her restless.
“No, no, I’m not cold—”
“Yes, you are. Here, roll over. I’ll keep you warm.”
Laura turned on her side and Beth followed her, fitting her body to Laura’s and pulling her close in her arms. “You’ll warm up, honey,” she said. “Just relax. Shall I close the window?”
“No,” said Laura. Don’t move, don’t leave me, she pleaded silently. She wanted to stay like this in the velvet dark with Beth always beside her, touching her, her arms around Laura, her warm breath in her hair. Beth was torment so lovely, so amazing, so sweet, that Laura wanted to cry. She lay very still, afraid that if she moved Beth would move too, and she would lose her. She felt her own arm resting on Beth’s, and Beth’s clasped loosely about her midriff, and all down her back the thrilling front of Beth…their heads so near, her breath so light on Laura’s ear. The wonderful softness of her breasts, the strong length of her thighs against Laura’s. With the care of love aborning, Laura pressed back toward her, trying to feel her even closer as if that might make them inseparable.
Beth was immersed in a reverie of Charlie. “Hm?” she said when Laura moved, rousing a little. “You all right, Laur?”
“Yes,” Laura whispered. Her whole body seemed to have stopped functioning in an access of caution.
“Go to sleep, honey,” Beth murmured, and pulled her tighter to reinforce her words.
Laura lay wide awake in her arms for a long time, so perfectly happy that nothing seemed real; full of a strangely wedded exhilaration and drowsy bliss.
Beth fell asleep wrapped in her reverie. After a while Laura raised up a little to let her move. She rolled over on her back, groaning softly, and then lay still. In a moment when she was quiet again, Laura turned to gaze at her, her head lifted and resting on her hand. She studied the curve of her lips and she wondered if Beth would know if she kissed her, and she leaned toward her and then became afraid again and stopped herself.
“Beth,” she whispered in a voice not meant to be heard. “Dear Beth…is this wrong? I’m so happy….” Maybe she was wrong, but nothing, no one, was ever more right than Beth. Laura looked at her face until she felt almost dizzy with her; with the wild and foreign turmoil she created in her heart.
“Oh, Beth, Beth,” she whispered. “I think I—I think I love you, Beth. I think I must love you.” She pulled herself closer and brought her lips very near to Beth’s. Her heart felt twice its size in her breast and her breath wanted to rush in and out in great gasps. She felt a sudden sweat all over and she stared fascinated and shivering at Beth.
“We’re so close, Beth…I could kiss you. I could kiss you, Beth, we’re that close….” She looked from Beth’s lips to her eyes, and still Beth slept peacefully, and Laura’s fever mounted until nothing mattered except Beth and the intoxicating nearness of her. Laura made the first concession to her passion. She leaned steadily closer to Beth until their lips touched, and then she couldn’t move away for a long time. She had reached, not a goal, but a first step. The kiss would never calm her—it taught her to crave.
She pulled away, shaking, and drew her hand across her mouth and she wanted to violently kiss Beth awake, to rouse her from slumber to sudden hot passion. Laura sat up in bed and struggled against her implacable desire with tears and tremors.
“Laur?” murmured Beth, and her hand found Laura’s startled back.
“I’m all right,” said Laura in a quick scared whisper. “I’m all right, Beth,” and she lay down and faced away from Beth and drew the covers high.
She slept very little that night, and her whole being was consumed with wonder and hope and powerful misgivings. She had completely forgotten Charlie.
Beth slept, but restlessly. There was the mystery of Charlie to trouble her dreams, and there was the surprise of unexpectedly rousing Laura. She had begun to think that she would never reach Laura, never really be close to her; it seemed that all she ever did was tease, and all Laura did was answer her politely. But when she reached over in bed to tickle her she realized with a shock that she had struck a profoundly responsive chord in Laura. She felt Laura’s cold hands grip hers and heard her breathe, “Oh, Beth… Beth…” and felt her cool, remote courtesy melt away. Beth was surprised and delighted. Unwilling to hurry her and just as unwilling to let her go, Beth simply held her in her arms and enjoyed the feel of her and marveled at the force of her heart. She knew it
