Beth took Laura in her arms that night, not because she had forgotten Charlie or because the effect he had on her was lessened; but simply because Laura was right there with her in the same place at the same time, because Laura was sweet and warm and accessible and Beth felt a tender fondness for her. And perhaps most of all because Charlie had aroused to painful new life her old craving for love.
It meant a lot to Beth to be loved. It would have meant even more if she could have loved someone herself. But she had never been able to give her love successfully and so she was ready to take someone else’s. She needed it; if she couldn’t give it she would take it, that was all. And Beth was not afraid to take, to try new ways, to look in new places. She had not been afraid of George, nor of the boys who followed him. And she wasn’t afraid when she felt Laura’s unmistakably erotic response to her teasing; startled, intrigued, but not afraid. It did not frighten Beth that Laura was a member of her own sex; it made her only the more curious.
There was, in fact, only one thing that scared Beth a little that night, and that was her reaction to Charlie.
Seven
The noise in the halls woke Beth the next morning. She moaned and stretched and turned to find Laura watching her, and she smiled sleepily at her.
“Morning, honey,” she said, and yawned. “What time is it?”
“I don’t know. Almost nine.” Don’t get up! Laura thought anxiously. It all went so fast.
“Ummm…got to get up.” She raised her arm over her head and squinted at her watch.
“It’s early,” said Laura hopefully, still watching her.
“I know, but Uncle John rolls out at nine on Sundays. Always has.” Her arm fell across her stomach. “He’ll be by to pick me up in a few minutes for breakfast.” She looked at Laura. “Sleep well, Laur?”
“Yes,” said Laura, and she thought she had never seen anything quite so beautiful as Beth with her sleepy head on the pillow and her pale face set in the aureole of her dark hair.
Beth reached up languidly and pushed Laura’s hair behind her ear, and that ear tingled to the ends of Laura’s fingers. “My God, are you ticklish,” Beth chuckled. “I thought you were going to snap at me last night.”
Laura smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to. I was just—you caught me by surprise.”
“I guess!” said Beth, and she lay still and looked at Laura for a long moment. She liked to be looked at the way Laura was looking at her. She was being admired and she enjoyed it. But still, Uncle John got up at nine.
She sat up and Laura’s eyes never left her, as if they were trying to pull her back down on the pillow. Beth felt them and they were subtly exciting. She wanted suddenly to arouse Laura and she turned back and looked at her. Laura was propped up on her elbows. Beth put a hand on either side of her and leaned over her playfully. Laura’s breath caught and her eyes widened in excruciating suspense.
“Did you finally get warm last night, Laur?”
“Yes. Finally.” She smiled and Beth took her shoulders with a grin and pushed them into the pillow so that Laura lay flat beneath her.
“No ‘thank you’?” she teased. “No ‘yes, thank you’?”
“Oh!” said Laura, putting her hand over her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry—” The weight of Beth on her made her feel a little crazy.
Beth laughed. “Don’t be silly! It’s a good sign. I’ve always thought you wouldn’t stop being polite to me until you started to like me, Laura.”
“Really?” Laura was astonished. Her beautiful manners came to nothing, then. “Oh, Beth, I—I do like you. I’ve liked you right along, right from the start. I—really.” How could she possibly say it? Her earnest frown, her eyes, would have to speak for her.
“No, you haven’t,” Beth said, and she poked Laura in the ribs.
Laura gasped and twisted her body. “Oh, yes—yes, I have, Beth.” She felt compelled to keep talking, to prove it. “Why, I liked you even before I met you.”
“You did not,” Beth teased.
“Yes, I did. Really, Beth.”
“You didn’t even know me. How could you like me?” She smiled.
“Well, I—well, I don’t know.” Her eyes fell then. It was the truth. She didn’t. She knew only that from the moment she first saw Beth, nobody else interested her. And from the moment she spoke to her, no one else mattered.
“You must have some reason. Come on, Laur, tell me.” Beth leaned over closer, smiling.
Laura had a brief fear of suffocating with her want, of betraying it through every hard breath, every drop of perspiration. “No, no…” she protested weakly.
“No reason at all?” Her voice was almost a whisper.
“I just thought you looked like—such a nice person. That’s all. You looked friendly. I thought you must be a nice person to know,” she whispered lamely.
“Am I? Am I nice to know, honey?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t look at Beth now.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Oh, you must!” Her eyes flew back to Beth’s. “You’re more than nice, Beth, you’re—” And she stopped herself, swallowing compulsively, and looking away in something very near panic.
“I’m what? Tell me, Laur. Come on, honey, tell me,” she coaxed. “What am I? Hm? Laura?”
“Beth—” Laura pushed her away in a sudden hot desperation. “I don’t know!” She sat up panting and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.
Beth watched her with a smile. “Now you’re mad at me, Laur. You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”
“No!”
“Yes, you are.”
“Don’t say I am when I’m not!”
Beth laughed gently at her and crawled over to her. She put her arms around her from behind with her legs coming around alongside Laura’s and gave her a bear hug.
