Twelve
Emmy could hardly wait to hear about Charlie. She had to run after Beth in a midmorning rush between classes and caught her speeding over the campus toward Lincoln Hall.
“Have coffee with me,” she begged.
Beth was afraid; she knew too well what to expect from Emmy. “I have a class, Em.”
“Well, cut it! Oh, come on.”
Beth slowed down. “Well—” she said. She had to face it sooner or later. Emily would be wondering why she didn’t see Charlie again. She’d have to make it sound plausible.
Beth let herself be led to the nearest coffee spot. Emmy could hardly wait to ask questions.
“How was it?” she said.
Beth stirred her coffee carefully, watching the brown and white unite in her cup and come tan. “He’s a very nice boy,” she said.
Emily waited. “Well, is that all?” she said finally.
“No.” She pulled the spoon out and looked at it. It was a tricky business trying to fool Emily. Emily knew her too well. “We had a very nice time.”
“What’s all this ‘nice’? That doesn’t mean anything.” She leaned back and folded her arms. “What happened, Beth?”
Beth wondered if she could possibly conceal it from her, and the weight of another lie pulled her spirits still lower. “He just doesn’t have it, that’s all. I know, I know, when you saw us at Maxie’s I looked all excited…and I guess I was. But it wore off. He’s—” She shrugged. “He’s just another guy, Emmy.”
“You’re disappointed, maybe, but not with Charlie. Gee, Beth, I know you better than that. You’re not in love with his face. At least that’s not all you’re in love with.”
“Who’s in love? With anything? Or anybody? I didn’t say I was in love.”
“You didn’t need to.”
“Oh, Emmy—” she exclaimed. My God, does it show? Emily took her confusion for confirmation.
“When are you going to see him again?”
Beth emptied the smoke from her lungs and said, “I don’t know.” If she had said “never” she would have provoked a storm from Emily.
“Is he going to call?” Emily felt her way carefully, surprised by Beth’s evasiveness.
“Yes.”
“When?”
“I don’t know, Emmy. Today, I guess.”
“You don’t know? Didn’t he say?”
“No.”
“He’s disappointed too, is that it?”
“I guess so. I don’t know.”
“If he’s disappointed, why is he going to call?”
“Emmy, I—” She had to protect Laura. She looked down again, defeated. “I don’t know.”
Emmy frowned, reaching for Beth’s confidence with her sympathy, her affection; wondering why Beth suddenly distrusted her. “What happened last night, Beth?” she said again. “Or don’t you know that either?”
Beth wanted to scream at her. She made one last try to evade her. In a short dry voice she said, “We had dinner, we danced, we talked. We made love, we came home.” She sighed, hurting because the relief of truth was denied her and because now it was Emily she had to lie to. But Laura must be spared; Laura, whose whole love she had taken for her sometime pleasure; Laura, whose trust she had wholly betrayed; Laura, to whom she owed the climax of love, and perhaps even her physical pleasure with Charlie.
“Beth,” said Emily gently. “Why won’t you talk to me? Is there something the matter?” Beth looked up at her slowly and Emmy took her hands and squeezed them. “Beth, you’re my best friend,” she said. “Don’t you think I want to help, if I can? Gee, Beth, I tell you everything. I haven’t a secret in the world from you. You know you can trust me.” Beth couldn’t answer. “Did he hurt you?”
She shook her head.
“Did he threaten you or—or was he disgusting, or—”
“No, no, Emmy. He—” She stopped, helpless. After a moment she said, “No, he was very nice. He didn’t do anything.”
Emily released her hands and sat studying her in silence. Beth sipped her coffee and smoked and sweated in quiet misery. Finally Emily said pointedly, “It’s Laura.”
Beth looked up at her with such a startled face that Emmy said, “I thought so. I should have suspected this all along.”
“Oh. Emmy—no!” said Beth. She was almost sick with apprehension.
“Don’t tell me, Beth. I’ve got eyes. You won’t go out with Charlie because of Laura.”
“Emmy, I swear to God, it’s not true, it’s not—”
“Don’t try to deny it, Beth. It’s the only possible answer. Nothing else makes sense.”
“Oh, Emmy, my God.” She put her head in her hands, shaken to the core. “How did you know? How did you ever—”
“Simple,” said Emmy. “You have the softest heart in the world. Too damn soft for your own good. You won’t go out with Charlie because Laura’s still got a crush on him.” She smiled triumphantly. “I knew it. I’m right, aren’t I?”
Beth couldn’t answer. She wanted to laugh hysterically with relief, she wanted to get up and run.
Emmy sighed and spun her cup slowly around by its handle. “I know because Laura felt so terrible last night before you got home. She even cried a little. And finally she just plain got mad at me. She said she just couldn’t explain it, but I knew it was you and Charlie.”
Beth wondered if Emmy would see the tremor in her hands. “I talked to her last night,” she said. “I think she’s all right now.”
“Now that you’ve told her you won’t go out with Charlie, you mean.”
“Oh, Emmy….”
“Beth, I know you wouldn’t lie to me. You’d tell me if this wasn’t true. Now listen to me. Laura’s a sweet girl and I know you’re fond of her, but this is ridiculous. You can’t sacrifice a terrific guy—maybe your whole future—to one girl. You’ll probably never see her again after next June. Beth, you’re crazy about Charlie. Admit it….” Beth put her head down on her arms and
