“No way, Doc. She’ll mess you up worse than either of us.” With Doc’s mental medium powers, Prudence liked to climb inside of his head and use him as her personal ventriloquist doll, which I found extremely cringe-worthy, even more so than her creepy tooth-collecting fetish since I slept next to Doc most nights.
“How did you find this ghost?” Cornelius asked me.
“She sort of found me.” I took a right, driving slowly toward Zelda’s place. My gas foot seemed to be suffering from a courage deficiency along with my brain. “Listen, if it makes both of you feel better, I’ll go in the house on my own and help calm down Prudence.” That sounded a lot more ballsy than I felt.
“I don’t like that idea either,” Doc said.
I sighed. “You’re a difficult man to please today.”
“I know. You should wear your purple boots tonight and work on warming up my disposition.”
I smiled at his flirting.
“Violet, I’ll go in to meet this ghost with you on one condition,” Cornelius offered.
“What’s that?” Doc asked before I could.
“You join the Tall Medium and me for a séance as soon as I have the proper preparations in order.”
Doc chuckled. “He’s got you over a barrel now, Killer.”
I scowled, knowing exactly why Cornelius wanted to reach out together in the darkness via yet another séance. “A visit with Prudence is in no way equal to summoning an evil changeling and the ghoulish parasite that it dragged through some metaphysical gateway with it.”
“I don’t know,” Doc weighed in. “Prudence is a daunting force of nature.”
I agreed wholeheartedly with him. “But she’s not evil.”
“Are we sure about that?” he shot back.
I turned into Zelda’s driveway. “She’s an Executioner.”
That earned another single raised eyebrow look from Cornelius.
“That doesn’t make her immune to corrupt persuasion.”
Slowing to a stop, I looked up at the beautiful two-story, Gothic Revival–style house with cross gables and arched windows that were spotlighted in my headlights. A shudder rippled down my spine. The old Carhart house, which was now owned by Zeke and Zelda Britton, shined with nineteenth-century charm and grandeur. Unfortunately, a long, violent history festered within its gorgeous buttercream-painted exterior. A past full of murder of the foulest sorts, including Prudence’s throat-slitting long ago, as well as my own dance with death last summer.
Zelda had left the porch light on for us, which made the place look even more like the cannibalistic witch’s house in the forest in Hansel and Gretel. I gulped and killed the engine.
“What’s it going to be, Violet?” Cornelius was staring out at the house, too. “Am I going in there with you or not?”
I stared up at the attic window. In the fading light, I thought I saw the white curtain in the window move.
“Fine!” I growled. “I’ll help you and Doc find that little shit Wilda Hessler, and her evil twin.”
“Don’t forget about her mother,” Doc threw out.
How could I? Mrs. Hessler’s legacy was littered with tales of cruelty and a fascination with creepy clowns. Way too many clowns.
I took my phone from Cornelius. “Doc, you owe me for this.”
“Me?” He chuckled. “You walked into this one on your own, Killer.”
“God, I hate clowns.”
“You and me both,” Doc said. “Listen, I have to go. Be careful in there. If Prudence is truly upset, she may try to take her anger out on you.”
“Of course, her favorite punching bag.” Or rather slapping and pinching in Prudence’s case, although I wouldn’t put it past the riled ghost to sock me in a moment of resentment due to my ability to still breathe oxygen. “I’ll text you as soon as we make it back out.”
“You better. Zeus only knows how I’m going to concentrate on explaining the benefits of IRAs and the downfalls of required minimal distributions knowing you two are inside of that house.”
“Did you say ‘Zeus’?”
“Yeah. Your son is rubbing off on me after all of our mythology discussions lately.” A shuffling sound came from his end of the conversation. “Cornelius, are you still there?”
“Metaphysically or physically?” my seatmate asked.
“Both. Listen, don’t touch Violet while you’re in there.”
Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that rule.
“Killer,” Doc continued, “don’t let Prudence bully you.”
“Don’t worry, Doc, we got this.” I sounded a lot more sure than my butterfly-filled stomach felt.
“For both of your sakes, I hope so.”
The line went dead.
Cornelius frowned in my direction. “What happens if I touch you when we’re in the house?”
“I’ll bite your finger off.” Without further delay, I switched off the headlights and opened my door. “Let’s go saddle this angry ol’ mule before she starts kicking.”
“Did you know that mules can kick in any direction?” he asked as he rounded the front of my SUV.
I snorted. “So can Prudence.”
He followed me up the porch steps, both of us shivering in the twilight.
“You know, on second thought, I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Cornelius said, frowning back toward my SUV.
I rang the doorbell. “Why not?”
“As of yesterday, Mercury has gone retrograde.”
“What’s that have to do with us talking to a ghost?”
Most days, astrology and its many theories and premonitions hovered just beyond my fingertips.
“It’s a time of pandemonium for all earthlings, no matter their sign.”
Hell’s bells. That certainly described my afternoon so far. Maybe Cornelius was right about …
Movement to my left caught my attention.
Crap. “It’s too late to back out now.” I pointed at the front room window where Zelda stood staring out at us with only the whites of her eyes showing. The lighting from the sitting room cast half of her face in shadows. Put a knife in her hand and she could give Norman Bates from Psycho a run for his money. “Prudence already knows we’re here.”
Cornelius looked over and flinched. “That’s rather unnerving.”
“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
I
