When the fog in his mind cleared a little and Ulric began to pull away, Gage tugged him back. “I want your knot.”
Ulric sucked in a sharp breath. “But I—” Over his shoulder, Gage found Ulric with his face red, unable to meet Gage’s eyes.
“Knot inside me,” Gage whispered. “Tonight.”
Ulric pushed back inside. Gage groaned, Ulric’s knot stretching him open, growing round and heavy in his body. Gage had never been on this end of a knot, either. But with Ulric, it felt right. Ulric’s knot locked them together, Ulric a solid presence inside him.
Gage sighed in pleasure, burying his face in Ulric’s pillow.
Ulric pressed his forehead against Gage’s shoulder, his voice barely audible as he mumbled, “This shouldn’t have happened.”
“Why not?”
“Because I—You saw me do that.” Ulric dug his fingers into Gage’s waist. “I’m not right in the head.”
Gage brought Ulric’s hand up to his lips, kissing him there. “It’s not the first time we’ve done that.”
“It’s the first time it’s been—” Ulric swallowed “—this violent.”
Gage pushed their hips together, so Ulric’s knot sank deeper inside him. “And we both enjoyed it.”
He hadn’t met another person who wanted what Ulric had asked for. If it had happened with anyone else, with no safeword, Gage would’ve been alarmed.
Ulric had been honest with his request, though. And Gage had played along willingly, trusting him. Because he trusted that Ulric would not hurt him, because he trusted that Ulric would’ve stopped if Gage had asked him to.
Ulric eased his hand away from Gage, looking embarrassed. Gage caught his fingers and kissed them again. “You’re fine.”
“I’m—”
“If that’s your kink, then I’ll explore it with you,” Gage murmured. “Here, where it’s safe to. We can talk about it.”
Ulric blushed redder, shoving his face against Gage’s back. “You shouldn’t.”
“I want to.”
“Why are you this nice?” Ulric muttered, looking uneasy. “You don’t have to be.”
“Because.” Gage couldn’t say it. Because you mean more to me than anyone else I’ve dated.
“That isn’t a reason.”
Gage pulled Ulric’s arms snug around him, before tugging the sheets over both of them. “Mind if I sleep here tonight?”
Ulric tensed, his breath rushing out of him. “Why would you want to?”
“Because you’re cozy.” Gage smiled, ignoring all the little voices telling him that this couldn’t possibly last. “Because I’ve been dreaming about sharing your bed for a long while, Muffin.”
Ulric cracked a shaky smile, tightening his arms around Gage. “Fine.”
He didn’t sound convinced, but he was letting Gage stay. And that was a step in the right direction.
24
Gage Finds Out
A few days later, Gage set down some food at the grocery store checkout stand. It wasn’t a lot—the cheapest pork roast he could find, some broccoli, and a bulk container of oats for Wilkie. He’d made sure to total them up twice; he knew he had just enough on his bank balance left for this.
But there was always the possibility that other charges had come up, and that the remaining amount wasn’t what he’d remembered. He bit the inside of his cheek, opening his wallet. Did he want to risk an overdraft fee...?
He counted the loose bills he had, pausing when he found a $20 mixed in with them. Gage frowned. He could’ve sworn he’d used his last twenty yesterday. He couldn’t have remembered wrong, could he? Or had Wilkie returned him money without telling him?
He paid for his groceries with the bill, dropping his coin change into the donation box at the register. Then he set off for home, wishing it were the end of the week—that was when the wages from his new job would get deposited into his account.
A couple days ago, despite Ulric’s protests, Gage had found a job at a bar downtown. He’d be there only for a few hours every night, but every bit of cash helped. And his shift began in half an hour. There wasn’t time for his hugs with Ulric.
Feeling guilty, Gage returned home to drop off the groceries. He found Ulric in front of the TV, looking miserable.
“Hey.” Gage planted a quick kiss on Ulric’s forehead, his guilt intensifying. “Had a good day?”
Ulric shrugged. “Fine, I guess.”
He had that odd perfume scent on him again. “Did you go to Highton?”
Ulric tensed. “How—”
Gage tipped his face up, kissing him full on the lips. “Sometime soon, you’ll have to stop going there, babe. It’s killing you.”
“I wish.” Ulric looked... upset. Bitter.
Gage set down the groceries, joining him on the couch. “I have to leave in five,” Gage told him, pulling him into a tight hug. “But I’ll do the hugs when I get home later.”
“I told you, you didn’t have to get a second job,” Ulric muttered.
“I’m not going to leech off you, Muffin. And I don’t want to be your kept alpha.” Gage ran his fingers through Ulric’s hair, stroking his back, touching him all over. “Mm. I missed you.”
Ulric sighed, looking doubtful.
“Ready to tell me what you’ve been doing out of town?” Gage asked.
Ulric shook his head. So Gage sat with him, holding his hand, just pretending that this was all he had on his schedule for the rest of the night. Five minutes flew by way too quickly.
“I wish you’d stay,” Ulric said.
“I’ll spend the rest of tonight with you in bed,” Gage promised. “That’s six hours of hugs.”
“But I wouldn’t be awake to enjoy it.”
Gage laughed and nuzzled him. “You might be just a bit greedy.” Ulric flushed. “But so am I,” Gage whispered in his ear.
He gave Ulric’s ass a squeeze, kissed him a last time, and then went to get ready for his next shift.
Hours later, when he got home smelling like booze and sweat, Ulric had fallen asleep. Gage grabbed a quick shower, dried off, and slipped under the covers naked, spooning Ulric from behind. Ulric felt perfect in his arms. Gage wanted to feel Ulric on every inch of his skin.
Ulric stirred.
