Harris raised an eyebrow, shrugging out of his jacket. It was warmer in the house—nice, actually, not having to deal with the chilly fall winds. “You thought I’d spend longer dropping him off?”
“Yeah, I thought you’d take him on Round 2,” Valen said, giving Harris a lopsided grin.
Harris snorted and closed the distance between them, cupped Valen’s nape. Pulled him close for a deep kiss. Valen groaned against him, pressing his chest against Harris’, yanking Harris closer by the hips.
It was so different kissing an alpha—Valen was all hard lines and solid muscle, and Harris never had to worry about hurting him. Dahlia and musk filled Harris’ nose.
“You smell like Sam,” he murmured. “He’s all over your skin.”
“Yours, too,” Valen said, biting on Harris’ lip. He reached between them, squeezing Harris’ cock.
Harris snorted. “That round with Sam wasn’t enough?”
“Just touching.” Valen grinned, squeezing Harris again. He’d shed his shorts, and was now back to his T-shirt and boxer-briefs. “Never seen you in a rut before.”
“Never seen you in one, either.”
Ruts didn’t occur just because you were near an omega in heat—they happened when you connected with an omega on an emotional level. Which was odd, because Harris didn’t know Sam before today. Maybe it had been the combination of Sam moaning in his mouth, and Valen’s tight body against his.
Proximity to an in-heat omega, and an emotional connection. Harris hadn’t known it could work with two separate people. All it had taken Valen was a hug.
“Why’d you break up with Sam?”
Valen froze. Leaned away from Harris, his eyes narrowing. “Why’re you asking?”
“Because you seem good together.” Harris shrugged. Squeezed Valen’s ass. Sniffed at his stubbled jaw, picking out his sandalwood scent. “He doesn’t seem to hate you.”
Valen closed his mouth, stepping away. Harris followed him into the kitchen. “It was years ago, Big H. More’n a decade.”
“You’ve missed him.”
Valen didn’t answer. But Harris had seen Valen kissing Sam’s shoulder, had seen the way Valen cradled that omega. You didn’t do that with an ex you hated.
After a while, Valen spoke again, his eyes on the floor. “He asked if I’d be with him forever.”
“You said no?”
Valen rolled his shoulders. “Yeah. I can’t.”
They hadn’t discussed this before, but Harris had guessed at it. Why else would Valen be with another alpha? Valen was handsome. He was rugged in the way omegas would stare. Hell, Harris had seen some of the people they’d rescued come up, trying to ask for Valen’s phone number.
Instead, Valen was Harris’ live-in lover, a secret they kept from the rest of the station.
Not exactly what Valen deserved. He should have a better relationship than this, someone who could give Valen his ass. Someone he could hold hands with in public.
“You can’t be with me all your life,” Harris said. “I’m older. Statistically, it means I have a higher chance of—”
“Don’t say it.” Valen’s eyes flashed. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
He seems happy with you, Sam had said. Looking at Valen now, his teeth gritted, Harris was surprised he hadn’t realized it sooner. Valen did want Harris in his life. And at some point, being older, Harris would probably die before Valen. Fact of life. Not something they could prevent.
Harris smiled wryly. “You can’t promise me forever, either?”
Valen sighed. “I don’t know.”
Harris stepped up to him at the counter, pulling Valen into a hug. Valen’s warmth bled into his chest, and Valen pressed his forehead into Harris’ shoulder. Wrapped his arms around Harris’ waist.
“You’re important to me,” Valen mumbled. “That’s all I know.”
Harris’ heart squeezed. After eight months of fucking, it was nice to hear something like the truth from Valen’s lips. He’d always thought Valen would leave, sooner or later. Find an omega, settle down.
“What do you think about Sam Brentwood, then?” Harris asked.
Valen hesitated. “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”
“You want to see him again.”
Another pause. Valen nodded. “Just catching up, that sort of thing. Not to sleep with him. I could’ve punched you for tonight, you bastard.”
“Except you liked it.”
Valen groaned. He leaned into Harris, and Harris slipped his fingers into the gelled spikes of Valen’s hair, massaging his scalp. Valen sighed, relaxed.
Harris would’ve probed more, except he knew that Valen’s dad was divorced. Smack him around if he bothers you again, the fire chief had told Harris at the station. He’ll come around if you hit him hard enough.
It wasn’t Harris’ place to critique his boss, but it fanned a slow-burning rage deep inside Harris’ chest. Why did you treat your son this way? he wanted to say. Why did you think it was right to hit him?
With the messy divorce Fred Tolstoy had been mired in, Harris could imagine what Valen had lived through with his parents.
Made sense that Valen couldn’t commit to a relationship.
“I’d just rather not bond with anyone,” Valen mumbled, his breath warm on Harris’ neck.
“Bonding isn’t the end of the world.”
Valen leaned away, eyeing the silvery scar on Harris’ neck. “You were bonded once.”
“My omega died.” At least it didn’t hurt to say, this time.
Valen’s eyes widened. “Shit, Big H. You never told me.”
“It’s not something I like to talk about.” Better yet if Valen didn’t have to experience that in his life. “He died during childbirth.”
Valen wrapped his arms around Harris, pulling him into a fierce hug. “This a long time ago?”
“‘Bout ten years, yeah. I’d saved up everything, thinking I’d have a kid to raise. You know.”
Okay, now it hurt. Harris sucked in a slow breath, his chest aching.
He’d been talking about the baby with Nicholas for months. They’d picked out names, painted a nursery, told everyone about the pregnancy.
Then there’d been complications during the birth, a small-percentage risk they’d ignored, and suddenly Nic had been shuddering on the hospital bed. He’s rupturing, the doctor had said, his movements suddenly urgent. We can’t save him.
For weeks after the deaths, there’d
