Felix answers the door, his cheeks flushed, hair tousled. Kade leans in, barely stopping himself from kissing his bondmate. Felix smiles awkwardly. “Thank you. I’m sorry for putting you through all that trouble.”
“It’s fine,” Kade says, following him into the house.
In the living room, stacks of packing boxes sit by the wall. Their presence scrapes at his nerves every time he visits. Kade stares warily at them as they pass, wondering if there are still things in those boxes, if Felix has just left them empty, or if he’s never taken their contents out at all. Which means...
“You’re really leaving Meadowfall?”
Felix glances over his shoulder, his eyes wary. “I’ve told you that, haven’t I? I’m just here for a while.”
I’m not good enough to keep you? Kade’s chest squeezes tight. He shoves his hand in his pocket, setting the plastic bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. “When?”
Felix jerks his thin shoulders. “I haven’t decided yet. Within the next two months.”
“Why?” Why are you leaving me?
The plastic bag crinkles as Felix riffles through it, pulling out the packages of meat. “I just have to leave, Kade. It’s... It’s not right for me to stay here.”
“I’m not right?” he blurts, pulse thudding in his ears. He shouldn’t have said it at all. He doesn’t want Felix to shut him out and tell him to leave, when he’d rather swallow his insecurities just to be near his bondmate again.
“It’s... it’s not you,” Felix says, still looking down. “And as cliché as it sounds, it’s really because of me. I’m not right for you.”
“The hell,” Kade says, incredulous. Felix thinks he’s not good enough? That can’t be right, because Felix is beautiful and funny and kind, and he needs Kade’s protection. “Is that why you left? Five years ago?”
“Can we not talk about this?” Felix snaps, his shoulders taut.
Kade flinches. Felix hasn’t snapped at him since he returned, and the thought of aggravating his bondmate, of Felix finding any reason to leave him... Kade swallows, his heart thumping.
“Okay. Okay, we won’t talk about it,” he says, looking away. But the question sits heavy in his heart, and Kade traces his ring through his shirt. He’s still not any closer to getting answers. Is it the money? Or something else? “What’re you cooking?”
“An Italian meat soup,” Felix says, unwrapping the paper-wrapped packet of sausage.
When he looks closer, Kade realizes that the spotlights above the counters are on, that diced bell peppers and onions are piled on the cutting board. “Teach me how to make it?”
Felix glances up from the speckled sausages. “Why?”
So that I can cook it for you. So that you won’t tell me to leave. “Just something to learn, I guess.”
Felix chews his lip. “You’ve already done so much.”
“If I’m eating, then I should help cook,” Kade says, even if he doesn’t really have any appetite for soup. “At least teach me something before you move.”
“I... suppose.” Felix sets the sausages back down on the waxed paper. “You want to cut the lining of those sausages first. Empty them in the pot. Then chop them up and brown them.”
Kade washes his hands, then runs a knife down the length of the sausages. The sausages thump into the pot, and as the stove heats, the meat begins to sizzle, notes of oregano, marjoram and basil wafting into the air.
Behind him, Felix sucks in a deep breath. “Mm. That smells good.”
Kade waits while the meat browns, glancing at him. Felix has his eyes closed, pale lashes brushing over his cheeks. Kade still finds himself marveling at his beauty. At ten, Felix had stood out at the school playground—too blond, too pale—and Kade had somehow been attracted to him. That was before they’d even known he was going to be an omega.
It’s strange how they’re standing together again, here in Meadowfall, two decades later.
With his spatula, Kade cuts the sausages into smaller chunks, stirring them in the pot. Felix opens his eyes, blinking as he looks around. When he catches Kade staring, he smiles, and maybe the tension between them is finally dissipating.
At the cutting board, Felix quarters stacks of pepperoni slices. “Wish you could eat this,” he murmurs, looking down. “It’s the most delicious. I’ll make it for you when you get older.”
“What?” Kade frowns. When he gets older? Does that mean Felix is staying?
Felix tenses and looks over his shoulders, his eyes wide. “Nothing.”
“You said something.”
“I was talking to myself,” Felix says, a scarlet tint sweeping up his face.
Kade frowns. Felix has been talking to himself lately. Mostly, it’s things he doesn’t understand, but it’s not his place to question it. Above the sizzle of meat, he asks, “You picked this recipe up in Highton?”
“I had it at a restaurant there,” Felix says, his knife slowing against the cutting board. “I was with a group of other artists. We had an exhibition at one of those large halls—there were so many people—and quite a few of us sold paintings. So we went out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate. I found this soup on the menu. It’s... well, a meat soup. I think you’d like it.”
“Sounds good,” Kade says. “You’re still talking to those artists?”
“Yeah. They’re decent people,” Felix says, smiling. “A little eccentric, but that’s to be expected of creative types. I made a couple of good friends there, too, like Jared—he does oil nudes—and Tom, who’s more of a sculptor, but he does metalwork too—”
“Oil nudes? With models?”
“Yeah. I’ve modeled for him.”
Kade looks up, his mind whirring. Felix led a life without him those five years, and he’s bound to have slept with other people, even if he never received a second bonding mark. Kade swallows. It’s not as if he hasn’t hooked up with random people, either, but Felix is—was—his bondmate, and part of him wants to mark Felix, wants him back. It feels as though
