It’s goddamn humiliating, finding out his omega is months along. When Kade has been sleeping with Felix, and he never noticed the bump. He should have read the signs, and they’re so obvious now—Felix buying those bulky clothes, having late-night cravings, puking his guts out. They’ve been meeting for months, and Kade was clueless through it all.
“You never told me,” he says, hating that his voice shakes.
“I couldn’t, okay?” Felix snaps, his voice rising high, eyes glittering. His hands come up to cradle his belly, and he looks so damn vulnerable right now.
Despite the fury scalding his veins, Kade wants to pull him close. Because Felix is still his bondmate, Felix needs his comfort. Felix’s fingers curl into the fabric of his own shirt. “You weren’t supposed to know.”
“Why?” His thoughts churn. Hope whispers, Maybe he wanted to surprise you. Before Kade regrets it, he blurts, “Is it mine?”
Felix’s face crumples. He looks away, tears welling in his eyes. And Kade hears it before Felix even says, “No.”
It isn’t his. It isn’t his. Kade stops breathing, the thought clanging through his mind. Felix is his omega. Felix is his, Felix had been his for fifteen whole years, been his closest friend and his confidant. They’ve run and shouted and played, shared a home, shared their hopes for the future, shared their joys and fears, and this...
It feels like a knife turning in his gut when he thinks about Felix carrying a child that isn’t his. Felix once belonged to him, and it fucking hurts when that child inside him isn’t Kade’s.
Vicious heat tears through his veins, whispering It’s not mine. He can’t stop thinking about that something else in Felix’s belly, and it should have been Kade’s, should have been mine.
It’s not his. And the whirl of shame and anger and jealousy tears through Kade like fire consumes paper.
He turns, his eyes stinging.
The sun shines hot on his face, and Kade blinks. He’s out of the store. He needs to get further away. Out of this town.
It’s only when he slides onto the bike that he realizes his hands are shaking.
Felix isn’t his anymore. Felix hasn’t been his in a while, and Kade should have known better than to kindle his hopes into a flame.
He swipes the tears off his cheeks, jamming his helmet on, turning the key in the ignition. The bike roars beneath him, and maybe that’s the sound his insides make, he thinks, when they’re shredding apart.
27
Felix
The rack of baby clothes blurs. Felix buries his face in his hands, tears smearing over his palms.
Kade’s eyes had burned with fury and betrayal. Then he had turned, walked out of the store, and Felix doesn’t deserve to be here at all. He’s hurt his alpha. Lied to him. Betrayed him.
Felix sinks to a crouch, trying to breathe, but he’s sobbing and he can’t stop it, can’t stop the sudden chill in his limbs. Kade hates me now. He shouldn’t have found out. I shouldn’t have been here.
He bites hard on his lip, choking, and his nails dig into his skin. He shouldn’t even be in Meadowfall at all.
I freed him of the responsibility. He won’t be tied down by a child now. Felix holds his limbs still, trying not to shake, but the thought of Kade leaving breaks something in his chest. Kade has never abandoned him, and it hurts like the ripping of a jagged knife. Felix sobs, hating the pregnancy, hating his hormones, hating himself.
It’ll just be you and me when we leave, he thinks to the unborn child. Kade won’t find us. He won’t be disappointed. I don’t think he’ll come looking if he doesn’t want us.
As he struggles to breathe, a gentle hand rests on his back.
“Oh, Felix,” Taylor whispers, hugging him close. “What did you do?”
Felix shakes his head. He doesn’t have an answer. The truth will turn Kade against him, anyway. If he leaves now, Kade won’t learn about the bankruptcy, about his father dying because of Felix, and maybe he’ll be happier for it.
Taylor tugs on his elbow, but he doesn’t budge. He feels his brother settling down next to him, draping one arm over his shoulders. Felix ducks his head, afraid to even look up. He doesn’t want to see any pitiful stares or curious looks.
“Doesn’t he want it?” Taylor asks some minutes later, stroking his back. “I thought...”
“I told him it isn’t his,” Felix says, his voice ragged.
Taylor’s fingers still against his back, and he groans. “Felix, you idiot.”
But Felix has always been an idiot, hasn’t he? He curls up against his brother, thinking about all the reasons why Kade would leave, why Kade should leave.
He curls into himself, breaking, and Taylor’s embrace brings him no comfort at all.
28
Kade
Kade rides for hours, following random traffic off the highway.
He turns off an exit ramp, riding down empty asphalt roads, spiny shrubs skimming by to the sides. He makes a right at one crossroad, then left at the next, and he’s riding in circles, getting further and further from Meadowfall, until all he sees are the mountains in the distance, and trees rising up around him, their pointed tips stretching for the sky.
Felix is pregnant with someone else’s child.
Kade sucks in a deep breath, releases it. Then he inhales again, breathes out, and repeats the process. It doesn’t ease the ache in his chest. Felix had lied to him, kept the baby a secret, never intending for him to find out.
He swallows, twisting the throttle. The bike speeds up, and it feels like he’s flying along the roads, leaving everything behind.
When the sun crawls lower in the sky, Kade remembers the work he left at home, the new program that needs coding done, and the minor fixes for another project. Deadlines coming up. Someone needs to do them. The thought anchors him to Meadowfall, to a purpose other than himself.
He reaches for his phone, plots a route, and heads back.
When he steps into the
