“You aren’t calling to tell me your pancakes burnt,” Taylor says.
Felix sighs. He’s only rung his brother twice while he’s on a job. “I’m pregnant.”
“What?”
“I’m not saying it again.”
Taylor’s voice sharpens. “Who did it?”
Felix sucks his lip into his mouth, closing his eyes. In his mind, he sees Kade grinning at him. Kade’s face, frozen with hurt. “Who else?” he says, and his voice is bitter, sharp-edged. “You bastard, you left me at the pharmacy. He picked me up.”
Down the line, Taylor sighs, long-suffering. “I told you, I got an emergency call. You went willingly into it?”
Felix wants to laugh. “I’ve never been unwilling with him,” he says, and to his horror, his voice breaks. “I didn’t expect to see him again, Taylor. I didn’t... I thought I could go without a heat suppressant for just one night. I didn’t... I missed him.”
Seven days after that encounter, and Kade’s scent is fading from his skin. Felix doesn’t like that it’s going, but he needs to forget Kade. He’s been trying to forget him for an eternity. So much for that. I guess I have a part of you now. He dashes the tears away from his eyes.
“Thanks for telling me,” Taylor says. Felix imagines him setting a revolver on his thigh, ears pricked for any unnatural sound. Taylor works for a private, secretive organization. And in his new rented house, all Felix has are some paintings and a flimsy contract for a gas station job.
He tugs at the ragged clumps of carpet at his feet. “It was my fault. I forgot the BC pills for three days straight. I don’t want to start them again.”
Silence stretches between them for a few moments. “You’re keeping the baby?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re going to tell Kade after this, right?”
“No. I’m leaving Meadowfall as soon as I’ve got some money saved up.”
“Felix. No.”
Felix sniffs. “I bankrupted his family, Taylor. He won’t want... I can’t do this.”
His brother exhales heavily down the line. “Okay, we’ll set that aside for now. Your scent is going to change. Do you have a suppressant for it?”
Because everyone’s going to smell the pregnancy otherwise, especially Kade. Felix can’t risk that. But he can’t deal with remembering so many things, either. He covers his face. “More pills? I can’t keep track of all of them, Taylor.”
“Get a pill dispenser. It’s easy. You know what, go to my place. I’ve got some lying around. The scent suppressants are in the study. Second drawer in the desk. I’ve labeled them.”
Felix sighs. “How are we both omega and you’re so much better at life?”
Taylor pauses, contemplative. “I’m not trying to forget things, Felix.”
He flinches.
“Look, while you’re over at my place, grab some cash. You know the safe combination.”
“Yeah. But I can’t—”
“You need to eat better. You know that.”
Felix pushes his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes. “I’m supposed to invite you over to my new place for dinner, not have you pay for everything.”
“Take the money,” Taylor says. “It’s not doing anything sitting in a safe.”
“I love you and hate you at the same time.”
“That’s okay. But remember to feed yourself and the baby. I can’t believe I’m going to be an uncle!”
“I’m going to be a father,” Felix says, groaning. It sounds like a humongous mountain he doesn’t know how to climb. “I’m not dad material.”
“You’ll be a good one,” Taylor says, his tone gentle. Felix closes his eyes, knowing his brother means You’ll be a better dad than our father is.
“Thanks,” he mumbles, looking back down at his stomach. He imagines the little cluster of cells making its way through his body, attaching itself to him. The embryo that’s half him and half Kade, and he wishes he had Kade’s arms around him right now, pulling him close. Wishes he could hear Kade say I’ll help you through this.
“I’ve got to go,” Taylor says, his voice hushed. “Take care, okay?”
Felix gulps. “Will do.”
The line cuts off. Felix stares at his phone, his cheeks wet. Slowly, he peels himself off the floor, wiping his face. He has goals now. A baby to care for. He can’t disappoint his child, too.
4
Kade
The bike purrs beneath him, a docile, humming beast. Kade turns off the highway, squeezing the brakes to slow down. Next to him, the beginnings of rush-hour traffic cluster at the stoplight, a cacophony of engines growling around him. He flares his nostrils, huffing to rid the oily exhaust fumes in his nose.
It’s been a week since he saw Felix. A week since he last got any decent sleep, and it makes him uneasy, not knowing when Felix will leave Meadowfall again. He doesn’t know what Felix thinks of him, doesn’t think he should have left, that night. What alpha sleeps with his bondmate and leaves him alone in bed after?
He rubs the scar on his wrist, thinking about Felix covered in his scent. It’s been years, but the idea of Felix as his gives him comfort, like a missing puzzle piece in his life settling back into place.
Clearly, Felix hadn’t wanted him to stay the night. Kade had assumed too much years ago, thought he’d known Felix thoroughly, when he hadn’t. He doesn’t even know where Felix is right now. Which is how Felix meant it to be, if he’s not saying anything about meeting again.
Kade sighs, glancing up when the stoplight changes to green. On the dashboard of his bike, the fuel light comes on, glowing orange. He flicks his turn signal to change lanes, before rolling into the nearest gas station.
He smells that trace of lavender again, faint as a strand of hair lost on the sheets. He has to get home, pull out the laptop and finish debugging his work’s new application. But he knows that scent. Felix.
He rides between the filling stations, sniffing. No blonds next to the cars, none lingering outside the convenience store. Kade parks the bike by the door, shuts off the ignition, and strides
