He was her eldest child. Somehow, all he remembered was his mom denying everything he wanted, from as early as he could remember. There had been the cookies he’d wanted, that she’d given Ian’s brothers. There had been the rag doll on the shelf he’d stared at, and it had ended up in his sister’s birthday present.
Tell me you love me, he’d said to her when he was seven.
She’d frowned. Then she’d slapped him, and said, I love you.
He’d cried, and she’d slapped him harder, until he was alone in his room and sobbing, and she’d never once given him a hug after.
Growing up, he’d tried to do right by her. Tried to give her things, tried to fix her problems. Everyone had good parents, right? It seemed as though everyone’s families were perfect, and Ian’s was broken, somehow. And no one understood why he never wanted to return home after school.
Slowly, he pried himself off the desk. Made himself pay the bills with the worst penalties. The rest could be seen to later. Somehow.
Ian dropped the bills and envelopes into his bag, feeling raw. He shut down his computer, tucked his bag under his arm, and locked his office door.
He got himself all the way to the parking lot, his bones aching, his head heavy. Ian breathed in deep, then started his car, driving out of the college. He wanted to sleep. Wanted to forget about everything, so he could float off into bliss somewhere. He had to be responsible for Gwen, though.
He wound down the window on the way to the department store. Across the store’s parking lot, he glimpsed Brad and Gwen on the corner, Brad moving to his music, Gwen sitting on a stool, listening to him.
Maybe Brad would make a better father than Ian did.
Ian sniffled. He turned into the parking lot, the cool night air whispering across his skin, Brad’s electric violin notes sliding slow and sweet into Ian’s ears.
Brad was playing that song. The one Ian had listened to on the radio with Gwen, and they’d sung along to it for as long as it broadcasted.
Take me somewhere far away
Take me to a land of joy, or tell me you’re here to stay
Ian pulled into an empty lot a short distance from them, parked, and cut the engine. He pressed his forehead against the steering wheel, closing his eyes.
He clung to the soaring notes of Brad’s music, listening as it dipped and rose, a familiar tune made more complex under Brad’s fingers. Ian focused on the music, and let go of his other troubles. Just listened to Brad, his heart aching, his body too weak to move.
Slowly, he remembered better times, times when he’d laughed with Gwen, times when they’d pitched a tent in the middle of the living room and pretended they were out camping.
The weight in Ian’s chest eased. He breathed out, the tangle of his troubles slowly unfurling from around his heart.
By filling his body with Brad’s music, it felt as though he was slowly healing.
When the music finally stopped, a faraway voice murmured. Then there was nothing, until footsteps approached the car. A warm hand touched Ian’s nape. Ian jumped, startled.
“What…?” He looked up.
Brad frowned at him. Then he reached in through the window with his other hand, brushing his callused thumb across Ian’s cheek. “You were crying?”
Ian swallowed. Swiped off his tears. “I guess I was.”
“What’s wrong?”
He shrugged. “Nothing.”
“That’s bullshit, McMillan,” Brad said. Ian flinched, but Brad leaned in through the window. He pressed his lips to Ian’s forehead, sliding his fingers through Ian’s hair. Brushed his wrists down Ian’s neck, across his shoulders, down his chest, marking him with walnut. “I’m your alpha. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Are you sure you’re my alpha?” Ian asked, but he was leaning in, filling his lungs with Brad’s scent.
It felt good, having Brad’s marking on him again. Felt like Ian belonged.
Then Brad retreated through the car window, and Ian couldn’t help whining. He felt far too needy right now.
To his surprise, Brad fumbled with the door handle on the inside, opening the door. “C’mon out,” Brad murmured. “Gwen’s waiting with my things.”
Ian looked at the asphalt outside the car, his legs too heavy. “I don’t know if I can. I’m really tired.”
He would do anything for Gwen, though. Slowly, Ian leaned his weight forward. Brad reached under Ian’s knees, scooping him out of the car.
Ian yelped. “What’re you doing?”
“Helping you out.” Brad set Ian on his feet. Then he leaned in, kissed Ian slow and deep, and Ian sank against Brad, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Ew,” Gwen yelled across the road.
Brad snorted, but his lips were moving against Ian’s, nipping at him. “Missed you,” Brad whispered. “What happened?”
Ian shrugged. Realized Brad was too close see it. “Just—just the bills.”
“I’ll pay them,” Brad said.
Ian pulled away, staring aghast at him. “You can’t.”
“Yeah, I can.” Brad narrowed his eyes. “I’m not some kid anymore, okay? I have a job.”
“But—”
Brad kissed him again. He slipped into Ian’s mouth, tangling their tongues. Ian groaned, leaning in. He wanted more of Brad. Wanted to just forget about everything, and sink into his alpha.
When Brad broke the kiss, Ian wasn’t sure how he was still upright. Probably because Brad had an arm around him, and Ian was resting his entire weight on his alpha. “I can’t move,” Ian muttered. “So tired.”
“’Cause of the pregnancy?”
Brad’s eyes grew dark. He reached between them. Pressed his palm against Ian’s belly, where the baby was.
Ian’s heart fluttered. “Yeah. The fatigue hit this morning. It’s been a struggle the whole day.”
“Come home with me,” Brad said. “Both of you.”
Ian paused. He looked up at Brad, the lamplight casting sharp shadows across Brad’s face. Brad was handsome. He had intelligent eyes, a strong jaw, a mouth Ian hadn’t had enough of.
“I bought a spare mattress for Gwen,” Brad murmured. “Just washed the sheets this
