Brad leaned away, linking his fingers with Ian’s. Then he headed to the front door, where Ian had left his bag. “Are your bills in here?”
Ian hesitated, his stomach clenching. “Why are you asking?”
“Because I’m gonna take your bills from you,” Brad said. “And pay them.”
It sounded too good to be true. “I’m not sure you should.”
“Are they in here, or not?”
Ian slouched. He didn’t want to look at his bag. “Yes, they are.”
“If it’s in my power to help, then I’m helping,” Brad said, riffling through Ian’s bag. He pulled out the envelopes, and Ian looked away. “These?”
“Yes.”
Ian stepped away from him, so he didn’t have to see Brad judging him for the bills.
Brad pulled open an envelope, and sucked in a sharp breath. That one had been five thousand dollars.
“I’ve paid that,” Ian said, wincing. “You don’t have to.”
Brad opened another bill, and Ian looked away. He didn’t know what to do, faced with all these things. They’d come to haunt him again next month, and the month after that.
“I’m paying this,” Brad said. Then he tucked all the bills under his arm, and headed off to another room.
Ian scrambled after him. “Where’re you going?”
“Getting on the computer. It’s easier to do this shit online.”
“You really are set on paying them,” Ian said weakly.
Brad sat at his desk, the computer’s glow a bluish-white on his face. Ian squirmed. He didn’t want to say yes, but he didn’t want to say no, either. He watched as Brad opened his internet browser, typing the address for the payment page.
Brad completed the payment for one bill, grabbing Ian’s address and details off the paperwork. Then he moved on to the next bill, and Ian stared in amazement as the payments went through, and the confirmation numbers loaded. With each payment that processed, the weight on his heart eased.
It seemed so easy, Brad making those deadlines vanish with a few clicks of his mouse.
“You could be spending that money elsewhere,” Ian mumbled.
Brad rolled his eyes. “I need you to log in for this one. They won’t let me do the payment if you don’t. Bastards. Do they want my money, or not?”
Ian chuckled. He shuffled over to Brad, hunching to type on the keyboard. Brad wrapped his arms around Ian’s waist, pulling him closer. Then he sat Ian down on his lap. Ian yelped.
“This is too intimate, isn’t it?” he mumbled.
Brad raised an eyebrow. “This is intimate?”
Ian’s cheeks grew hot. These days, it seemed everything they did was intimate. “I’m not sure you should be doing this. I mean… we’re not in love or anything.”
Brad wet his lips, his eyes dark. “You don’t know if this is love.”
Ian’s heart stopped. “Is it? You can’t be. I’m not… I’m just…”
Brad shrugged. “I like you. Maybe more. Isn’t that enough?”
Ian wasn’t sure what he wanted. He craved stability in his life. He wanted someone he could depend on. But his problems seemed too much for any person to bear, much less shoulder for the long term. “I’m a mess.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Ian cringed. Brad pulled him closer. He finished the payment on the website, then checked the auto-pay box.
“Don’t do that,” Ian yelped.
Brad saved the payment option, glancing at him. “It’s for the hospital. And it’s Gwen’s bills, anyway. You’ve been paying them long enough.”
Ian wanted to protest. But the thought of having one less bill to look at… He didn’t have the strength to say no.
Brad nuzzled his shoulder, cupping Ian’s hand as they waited. Then he turned Ian’s hand around, and paused at the line of trapped blood on Ian’s thumb. Ian couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Is it possible for you to stop doing this?” Brad murmured, stroking Ian’s thumb.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure there’s a way for me to.” Ian sagged. “It was the bills this time. I just… It’s a lot to deal with, Brad. I don’t know how long I can stay sane with all this happening.”
“If there’s bills you don’t want to look at, give them to me,” Brad said. “I promise I’ll take care of them.”
It seemed dangerous, agreeing to that. Allowing Brad to have that kind of power over him. “I don’t know.”
“I’ve been reading up on self-harm,” Brad said. “The next time you feel like hurting yourself… text me. And then wait five minutes. Only when you’ve reached that point, you decide if you want to proceed with it. Can you do that?”
Ian swallowed. There wasn’t any point in waiting. But Brad was looking at him, and Ian wanted to stay by his side for a little longer. “Okay.”
Brad slipped his hand against Ian’s nape, pulling him close. He kissed Ian softly on the lips, and Ian didn’t know what this was, this growing something between them, fragile and new.
“I like you more than I should,” Ian blurted.
Brad’s eyes lit up. “You like me?”
Ian nodded, staring at the floorboards. Brad rumbled, burying his face in Ian’s shoulder. He pressed kisses along Ian’s collarbones, then down his chest. Stroked Ian’s belly with his knuckles. “When the baby’s born… can I visit it, too?”
Ian swallowed. “You want to?”
“I’m its dad,” Brad said. “I think I’m doing okay with Gwen, so… I figure I could learn to deal with a baby. Take some of the weight off your shoulders.”
Ian’s stomach flipped at the possibility of seeing Brad a lot more. “You can probably visit whenever. You know, as often as possible.”
A small smile crept through Brad’s face. “Visit the baby as often as possible, or visit you?”
And now Ian’s cheeks were burning so hot, he could only turn away to hide them.
“Mine,” Brad growled, tugging Ian’s shirt out of his pants. Then he pressed his palm against Ian’s bare abdomen, and Ian’s cock stirred.
He couldn’t help wanting Brad. Brad had relieved Ian of his bills, and he wanted to see the baby. He was doing so well with Gwen. Ian wanted him closer. Wanted Brad to quench the bone-dry thirst in his throat.
“You haven’t shown
