Ian’s breath snagged in his throat. He’d been thinking about it, on and off. Didn’t really want to acknowledge the gut-twisting possibilities.
“I don’t know if there’ll really be a second child,” Ian said. “I’m way past child-bearing age.”
“But you still have heats,” Brad murmured, kissing Ian’s belly.
“I’m not in my prime anymore.” Ian sagged, touching the bump of his abdomen. “There’s such a large chance of miscarriage. I didn’t want to look it up.”
Brad met his eyes. “Won’t you feel better if you know?”
Ian shrugged uneasily. He’d looked it up once, when he’d been carrying Gwen. The chances of miscarriage had been forty percent then. Now, at forty-seven years old… it was probably more like sixty percent. Or more. And Ian wouldn’t go back into heat for months after this.
What if I lose my baby?
“Have you been eating okay?”
Ian nodded, his throat tight.
“You gotta take care of you, all right?” Brad murmured, nuzzling Ian’s hip. He stroked down Ian’s thigh, pushing his fingers between Ian’s toes. Bliss whispered through Ian’s body. “I can’t be there all the time to help you.”
“You’ve been doing far too much,” Ian said.
“I want you to get better. I want you to know that hurting yourself isn’t the only way to cope.” Brad kissed Ian’s belly. “And if—if you lose this baby, we’ll make another.”
Ian bit his lip, his heart sinking. “It’s not the same, though. It’s our baby. From the time you returned.”
Brad paused. Then he entwined his fingers with Ian’s. “It matters that much to you that it’s mine?”
Ian nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t… had many alphas come on to me.”
Brad growled. “Well, good. ‘Cuz you’re mine.”
He kissed down Ian’s belly, to Ian’s cock. Ian stopped breathing. Brad had seen his scars, he’d run his hands over them, and the look in his eyes never once changed. Brad had been honest when he said the scars didn’t matter.
Ian bit his lip, rocking his hips forward when Brad cupped his balls. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
Brad closed his fingers around Ian’s cock, dragging his foreskin down. It seemed that Ian’s body loved betraying him—his flushed tip pushed up at Brad, glistening and hungry, and Ian’s insides grew molten-hot at the hunger in Brad’s eyes.
“Fuck, you look good,” Brad growled. Then he took Ian into his hot, snug mouth, and Ian’s breath rushed out of his lungs.
This never got old, Brad sucking on him. Ian whimpered, sliding his fingers into Brad’s hair.
Instead of sucking on Ian like he’d done the past couple times, Brad rocked back, letting Ian slip out of his mouth. Then he turned Ian around, so Ian faced the wall, his ass inches from Brad’s face.
Ian hesitated. Brad pressed his thumbs down Ian’s thighs, massaging Ian’s legs one at a time. “I should’ve been here when you were carrying Gwen,” Brad murmured. “Should’ve done this for you.”
Ian sighed, leaning against the tiles. “I didn’t want to get you into something you’d regret.”
“I understand,” Brad said. “But I wish you’d given me the option.”
“I’m sorry.”
Brad pressed a kiss to Ian’s cheek. He stroked up Ian’s back, rubbing slow circles up his spine, and back down. Then he slipped his fingers between Ian’s cheeks and pushed two into Ian’s hole, stretching him open.
Ian gasped, scrabbling against the wall. His cock throbbed. He hadn’t expected Brad’s touch. He loved the way Brad pushed deeper inside him, loved the way Brad circled his prostate, pressing down just lightly enough that he writhed, needing more.
“Not yet,” Brad whispered.
He stood, withdrawing his fingers. Ian squirmed, reaching down to stroke himself. Watched as Brad lathered his own body, his muscles flexing.
Ian gulped. He’d been in relationships before, but he’d never spent time with an alpha in the shower, never had an alpha who wanted him look so good, with the way Brad’s body glistened, his nipples hard, his cock straining for Ian.
When Brad finished with the lathering, he stepped up close. Slipped his arm around Ian’s waist and pulled their bodies snug, trapping their cocks together.
“We’re never going to rinse off properly like that,” Ian breathed, groaning when Brad reached between them, gripping their cocks in his fist.
“Doesn’t matter,” Brad growled. He pumped them at the same time, leaning in so his cock rubbed against Ian’s, smearing precome onto Ian’s skin. It was hungry for him, and Ian’s body ached.
“I need more,” Ian gasped.
Brad released him. He caught Ian’s chin, tipped his head up. Then he kissed Ian thoroughly, his tongue sweeping into Ian’s mouth. It felt like Brad owned all of him, with how he devoured Ian, how he touched Ian so every nerve in Ian’s body lit up, thrumming with desire.
Brad broke the kiss, turning Ian into the shower spray. “Get you rinsed. Then we’re gonna get you on the bed, and I’ll bury my cock inside you, give you my knot.”
Ian throbbed. His hole was slick now, and it hadn’t even taken long. Just Brad’s desire, Brad next to him, wanting him.
Brad grabbed the shower head, rinsing the suds off his own body. Ian reached for Brad’s cock. He slid his fingers down Brad’s heavy length, dragging his palm down its underside. It felt like a promise, like bliss, and he remembered it inside him, pounding hard.
His alpha growled, rocking into his hand. Then he dragged Ian’s hand down to his soft balls, curving Ian’s fingers around them. “This is full of come,” Brad murmured. “To fill you with.”
Ian trembled, his hole clenching. He needed to feel Brad inside him.
But Brad stepped out of the shower, leaving Ian behind. Ian whined. Brad tossed a fluffy towel at him. “Wrap this around yourself.”
“What, you aren’t drying me?”
Brad snorted, but he returned, drying Ian off. Then he did the same for himself. Grabbed Ian’s cock through the towel, squeezing his balls. Ian moaned, his hips jerking forward. Brad swept him into his arms.
“No foreplay tonight,” Brad murmured. “Just gonna go fast and hard.”
Ian panted, writhing when Brad dropped him
