“Probably.”
“Ian can’t make it to class today. Gwen’s got a heart surgery going on right now. It won’t be done for a few hours.”
Across the line, June sucked in a sharp breath. “Right, I’ll see what I can do. Tell him not to worry. I’ll drop by when I can. I’ll give the office a heads-up, too.”
“Thanks.”
Brad ended the call, setting the phone on the seat beside him. It hadn’t vibrated when June called—that explained why Ian had missed all those calls and messages. Didn’t matter now, though.
He scooped Ian into his lap, holding his omega close. “June says she’ll cover for you today.”
Ian winced. “I owe her so much.”
“I’ll treat her to dinner or something,” Brad said. “It’s not just on you. Don’t worry about it.”
Ian sighed, burying his face in Brad’s shoulder. He was still trying to pick at his scars through his shirt, so Brad caught Ian’s wrists, held his fingers, and kissed his neck.
“Do you have any more classes today?” Brad asked.
Ian shook his head. “This is my fault,” he mumbled.
“You don’t know that,” Brad told him. “Might be mine. She’s lactose-intolerant, too. So the defect might be from my genes.”
Ian gave a shaky laugh. “You’re perfect, Brad. Don’t say that.”
Brad’s heart skipped. “You think I’m perfect?”
“Yeah.”
It wasn’t as though Brad really was perfect, but to have Ian think so highly of him… it made Brad want to mark him. Wanted Ian as his, wanted to protect this omega. “You coping okay?”
Ian rolled his shoulders. Shook his head. “Barely. I just… I wish I could stop being scared, for once. If it isn’t Gwen, it’s my job, and if it isn’t that, it’s the debt, and I just—I need to get away from it all.”
He curled his fingers around his upper arm, where the ring of scars was beneath his shirt. Brad pried Ian’s fingers off his arm. “Don’t do that.”
Ian breathed out. “I need to not think about this for a minute, Brad. I can’t—can’t cope. Feels like my lungs are being crushed.”
Brad held him. Ian’s fingers flexed, his nails biting into Brad’s skin, trying to find flesh he could dig into. Ian had closed his eyes, looking as though he was trying to curl himself away, hide from the world.
Brad hadn’t seen anyone react like this to a surgery before. Ian had been through several of these. Was this what Ian had been doing every time?
His stomach twisted with horror. “Do you always do this?” Brad asked, afraid of the answer. “When Gwen’s in the hospital?”
Ian blew out a breath. “Yeah. I bring bandages with me. I have a scalpel. I know the restrooms that don’t get used so often, so I—”
Brad imagined Ian locked up in a cubicle, blood running down his arms, hurting himself so he could feel better. I should’ve been there. I should’ve stopped him.
He cupped Ian’s face. Pressed their foreheads together, stroking Ian’s jaw so Ian looked at him. “Shh. Stop thinking about that. Look at me.”
He met stunning blue eyes, so deep and brittle that Brad’s heart hurt.
“I love you,” Brad whispered. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
Ian’s eyes widened. Brad flushed, embarrassed. Wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do, telling him.
“You… can’t,” Ian croaked.
“I do,” Brad said. “Nothing you say or do can change it.”
Ian’s cheeks darkened. “But I… I’m not… I’m just a professor, Brad. I don’t look like much. I’m a single dad and I—”
“You won’t be a single dad if I had any say,” Brad murmured. “I want to be dads with you.”
Ian stared at him, and then his eyes filled with tears. “Oh.”
So Brad kissed him. Cradled Ian’s face, nipping at his lips. “Mine,” Brad whispered. “My omega.”
Ian whimpered, leaning into him. He curled his fingers into Brad’s arms, opening hungrily for Brad like he was ravenous. Brad held him. Brushed his fingers through Ian’s hair, pulled him close so Ian would feel safe in his arms.
“I’m here,” Brad whispered. “You don’t have to be alone again.”
Ian made a soft, choked sound. Then he buried his face in Brad’s shoulder, and cried.
Brad held him. Lost track of how long they stayed like that, Ian shaking against him, his tears soaking through Brad’s shirt, wetting his skin. Brad kissed his shoulder. Trailed his wrists down Ian’s back, along his sides, until he’d marked every inch of Ian he could reach.
Then Ian fell silent, his ragged breaths evening out. Took Brad a moment to realize that he’d fallen asleep.
That was okay, though. Ian always seemed to wake up less tired when he slept over at Brad’s apartment, snuggled in bed with Brad. If he slept better in Brad’s arms, then that was reason enough to have him and Gwen move in permanently to Brad’s home. So they could be a family together.
If Gwen made it out of the surgery fine… Brad wanted to know what that’d be like. Him and Ian being dads, Gwen living with them, and a baby on the way.
Seemed like there was a chance it could happen.
Brad glanced around the quiet hallway, breathed in the disinfectant of the hospital, and stared at the red light still glowing above the operating room doors. Then he closed his eyes, too, and waited.
17
Brad
It was a couple hours later that Ian stirred in Brad’s arms. Brad hadn’t been keeping track of the time—he hadn’t wanted to rouse Ian from a peaceful sleep.
The less Ian was awake to worry about Gwen’s surgery, the better, Brad had figured.
Ian groaned now, snuffling. Then he sniffed at Brad’s shoulder, half-asleep. “Brad?”
“I’m here,” Brad rumbled.
Ian pressed his face against Brad’s throat, his arms tightening around Brad’s body. “You feel good,” Ian mumbled, his lips dragging against Brad’s skin.
Then his leg hit the plastic seat next to Brad, and Ian froze. He glanced up, taking in the quiet hospital hallways, the glowing red light above the operating theater doors. Brad watched as Ian realized where they were, and what they were waiting for.
Ian’s eyes filled with dismay;
