"We decided to come as soon as we saw the news. Your phone was off, Jake wasn't reachable too, so I called your dad. Barry and Max are downstairs as well. We were all so worried." Niki said as she squeezed me in a hug. Britney joined and hugged me too.
"How is Jake holding up? He must be devastated. I saw on the news that he beat that asshole to a pulp." Britney asked.
"I don't know how he is holding up. That's odd, right? Because out of all the people, at least I should have known. He went somewhere, and his phone is not reachable. I am so scared. It's all my fault; I left him alone." I started crying again, as my friends tried to comfort me.
"I will never forgive myself if something bad happens to him. I am the worst person ever."
"Shhh... Emma, you couldn't have known. Just think positive, I am sure he is taking a breather somewhere." Niki stated nervously but I could read worry in her eyes too.
"I have a horrible feeling, guys. I have a hunch that things are worse than they seem on the surface. I am scared I won't be seeing him again."
What if Aunt Olivia was right? Did I really commit a mistake unravelling the truth? What if he really won't be able to cope with it?
Chapter 45
Rock bottom
Emma
They say you can't break what's already broken.
My wait for Jake's return was the most insufferable time of my life. Hours turned into days, and days into weeks, but I didn't hear from him.
Instead, a week before, on a wintry December morning, there was a soft knock at my apartment's door. As always, my heart raced in anticipation, praying that it might be Jake. This had become my new normal ever since he left. The urge to see him or hear from him dominated everything else that mattered in my life. Every phone ring, every knock, and every single acquaintance in the last eighteen days made my mind swirl in hope that maybe Jake had finally found his way back to me.
As soon as I opened the door, I saw Augustin standing at my doorstep. His expressionless face made me nervous; I was sure he bought terrible news. As I welcomed him inside, he handed me a letter with apologetic eyes. My hands trembled as I took the piece of paper from him.
I opened it to read the contents:
"Dear Emma,
This is the most cowardly thing I am doing in my entire life, and I know this will rattle you in ways I can probably never imagine, but I just did not have the strength to say this on your face, because I know, if I see you, I will never let you go.
I am incredibly sorry for doing this to you; after all, I ended up breaking your heart too, a guilt that I will live with my entire disgraceful life.
I know it will be painful, but trust me, in the long run, it will bring you love and happiness. Something that I could never provide, even though I tried hard.
I have seen the love that is cultivated in your family and the bond you share with your friends. You are loved Emma; and you deserve nothing less, but maybe a lot more than what God has already blessed you with. I am sure my scandalous present, unceasing conspiracies and loveless family would never be able to match up to you. I have caused you enough harm and will continue to destroy your peace if I act selfish and stick around.
You may hate me and believe that this was uncalled for because I know you love me more than anyone could ever do, but you deserve a chance to fall for someone better.
Move on, Emma, do not look back and do not wait for me. I will die a hundred deaths, every single day, but I refuse to bring you down with me.
By the time you get this, I would be gone already.
Goodbye Emma!
You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. But you my love deserve better.
- Jake"
As I read his letter, my lips fluttered in pain, and the flimsy paper in my hand was now soaked with tears.
Augustin quietly watched with regret and hurt in his eyes.
"He left already? Didn't he?"
"Yes." He whispered with his head low, weighed down by the disapproving situation.
"Where?"
"He has moved to Richmond's head office in Netherlands, for now, he will handle the European business from there."
I nodded as I bravely wiped my tears off. I was devastated; my biggest nightmare come true. I had an inkling of this since days now; I thought maybe I was prepared for this. But now when it happened, it pained beyond words.
The prolonged yet deafening silence was broken by Augustin, "let's stop this madness, I will make the arrangements. We can fly to Amsterdam tomorrow morning. He is just flipping in grief; you can knock some sense into him and drag him back here. You know he doesn't want to leave you."
"No, I don't know Augustin, I just don't know anymore. All I know is that these hurts, a lot.
And if this is what he wants, I will give it to him."
"Come on, Emma, you know you both will never be able to live without each other."
"Never say never, Augustin. He is doing just fine since days now, and I will survive too, I guess. If he could, so will I."
"You are angry at the moment, but..."
"Can't you see? He made a thorough decision, Augustin. I am tired of holding on to him.
