I nodded.
We were seated inside the warm restaurant, and slowly it started snowing again. Mark tried to be considerate and was intentionally talking about general things, ensuring not to touch any sensitive subject. As I half-mindedly listened to him, I was staring outside the window at the snow again, and that's when I saw him.
It was him, wearing a long black overcoat, walking across the street, right outside the restaurant.
The moment I saw him, I jumped up from my seat, "Oh my God. It's Jake!" I stated in shock as I ran out of the restaurant to stop him. My heart was racing in anticipation of confronting him.
He won't be able to hide away from me today; he could not be a coward today. He will face me and answer me.
I will make him.
It was frosty and slippery, and the snowflakes were blinding my vision as I managed to run against the wind in Jake's direction. I could hear Mark calling my name from behind, but I gave no heed, as days of wait was now over, and Jake was just a few steps away. I was panting and breathing vapors in the chilled outdoors, as I paced to get a hold on him.
"Jake! Jake!" I called his name as there were still a pool of people between us.
"Emma! Emma! Stop! What are you doing?" I heard Mark was closing in from behind, but ignoring him, I continued the chase.
As I was about to get a hold on Jake, Mark reached me first, and gripped my left arm from behind and jerked me to turn around.
"What are you doing, Emma?" He held my shoulders and shook me a bit.
"Leave me, Mark, I saw him. He is here; I need to meet him."
"You are mistaken Emma, that's not him. He is in Amsterdam."
"No. He must have returned. I cannot be mistaken. It's Jake." I jerked off Mark's hand and screamed behind the man I was following.
"Jake, Jake!"
Suddenly, that man stopped and turned around, and the moment I saw his face, I slipped and fell on the snow beneath. My hands protected me from falling on my face, bruising both my palms in the process.
Mark immediately rushed to pick me up.
"See, I told you it couldn't be him. I spoke to him an hour ago." Tears started escaping my eyes again, a newfound routine that they obediently followed.
"I thought... I thought… it was him…" I could barely stutter, I felt my body was drained of all its' energy, and helplessly, I collapsed. Mark caught me in his arms, saving me from another fall.
"Shh...Emma, I am here. Shit, your palm is bleeding." He hugged me softly circling his one arm around me, while gently holding my bruised hand in the other.
The cold was petrifying as my clothes were half soaked from the fall. However, nothing mattered, as I continually wailed in Mark's arms. He stood there silently and just listened. He held me and allowed me vent it all out, "it hurts a lot Mark, it hurts so very much. He left me. How will I ever live without him?"
We both stood there in the snow, and the brave mask that I was adorning, just fell off.
Truth be told, I was nothing without Jake.
Chapter 46
Merry Christmas
Emma
"I will be looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, sharp at seven pm, don't be late."
"Yes Benjamin, I can never miss the girls' birthdays. I anyway don't have any specific Christmas eve plans. I will be there on time."
"Great. See You."
Nothing was more difficult than meeting your lowest low, and then putting your pieces back together, but this time, you must do it differently, only to emerge stronger than before.
It took me sleepless nights, ocean of tears and buckets of ice creams to accept the fact that I won't be able to see Jake again. I won't be able to run my fingers in his hair, feel the warmth of his body, inhale his addictive scent or look into those mesmerizing blue eyes again
Somehow, I had managed to keep all our beautiful memories together, safe and sane in my heart. The abundant love and support from my friends kept my sanity intact. I did not feel bitter; I just felt alone, the void he created in my heart, could not be filled by anything or anyone.
My deep thoughts were interrupted by a knock at my door. "Oh, they are here already." I thought out loud.
As soon as I opened the door, both Britney and Niki squeezed me in a hug.
"Hi, Emma." They said in unison.
"Season's greetings my love, your hot and happening Santa are here. ho ho ho!" They both were wearing Santa caps, and giggled their way inside my apartment, with their hands full of shopping bags.
Christmas is not a day or a season, it's a state of mind, and also my favorite time of the year. At least was until now, this year I just didn't feel like myself anymore. I had imagined a hundred different ways to celebrate it with Jake; it would have been our first festivities together.
"Dude I think I forgot the Christmas gift I bought for Max at our last stop." Britney said with her brows furrowed as she looked into the bags.
"Did you find it?" I asked curiously.
"No, it's a small paper bag, blue and white stripes." Her eyes were moving frantically as she scanned through her shopping contents.
"I think I got something here in one of
