Worst case he kicks me out and I have to whoop his ass in front of all his friends.
I wave to Hank and Hugh who are sitting out the front of the clubhouse smoking a joint. They both nod at me, and I make my way inside. I go past all the people swarming around, drinking, smoking, and dancing, and walk toward Riggs’ room. I don’t know what I expect to find, but when I open the door and see him balls deep in another woman, I am confused.
Sure, he never told me he wasn’t sleeping with other people, but some part of me, some small, pathetic part, had allowed myself to think we had some sort of thing going on. Like we were getting along, connecting, enjoying each other. I let myself feel things that went beyond sex, and now here I am, looking like a complete and utter idiot as I watch him fucking a beautiful woman, his body moving perfectly, looking like a damned god.
It hurts.
It hurts in a way I wasn’t expecting.
I step back and turn to run straight into Remy. He’s got two girls with him, and when he sees my face, his brows go up. “See somethin’ you didn’t like in there?”
“Me?” I scoff. “No way. Why would you think that?”
He looks away quickly, and it’s in that moment I know he’s keeping something from me.
“What do you know?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Sorry, I’m not part of this crap goin’ on between the two of you.”
Crap?
What is he talking about? The war?
“You either tell me what you know, or I’ll throw a scene that you can’t escape from. You know I’m good at it,” I threaten. “You know I am going to bring this clubhouse down in a matter of seconds if you don’t open your mouth.”
Remy lets out a frustrated growl. “Fuckin’ women. Fine. You want to know, then I’ll tell you. I couldn’t give a fuck what you and Pres have got goin’ on. He’s fuckin’ you because it’s winning the war.”
I blink.
Everything in my world feels like it freezes and I’m standing, unable to move.
Fucking me to win the war.
Fucking. Me. To. Win. The. War.
“It’s fuckin’ genius, really,” Remy goes on, as if he can’t tell everything in my life has just stopped. “Best way to take down the enemy is to get them on your side. Fuckin’ you, makin’ you feel good, has stopped all the shit. It has worked, hasn’t it? Best tactic I’ve heard. He’s smart, girl, you should know that about him by now.”
He’s been having sex with me to put me right where he needs me? On his side.
He has been using me to win the war.
And it worked.
I fell for it.
I fell for it so fucking hard that my heart is twisting and my body feels numb.
It hurts.
More than I could have guessed it would.
“Don’t get hurt over it,” Remy tells me. “All is fair in love and war, right? Now, can I go?”
I nod sharply, and he turns, walking away.
I take a shaky step, then another, and it feels like I’m going to lose it any second. I walk out of the clubhouse, not making eye contact with a single person. I walk across the parking lot and into my apartment, my body numb. I sit down on my porch after getting my phone, and I call Ramona.
“I need you,” I whisper.
“I’m coming.”
She arrives only ten minutes later, and the moment she sees me, she comes rushing over. Ramona knows not much shakes me, but this has me so fucking shook I can’t get my mind to stop spinning.
Riggs is clever and fucking smart. He picked the ultimate tactic, the one thing he knew would get him exactly what he wanted. The few weeks he has been seducing me, I have left him alone. We’ve gotten along and everything has gone well. Plus, he’s been getting sex out of it, so it’s not like it’s something that is difficult on him. That mother fucker, my hurt is mixing with rage, and that’s a toxic combination for a girl like me.
“Talk to me,” Ramona says, waving her hand in front of my face to snap me out of my haze. “You’re scaring me.”
“He was fucking me to win the war,” I whisper angrily.
“Who? Riggs? What are you talking about, honey?”
“He was having sex with me to placate me and make me fall for him, so I’d stop trying to get him out of the garage and our issues would end. He was using me to be the winner.”
Ramona gasps. “That smart motherfucker.”
She’s right, he is smart.
He’s also cruel and insensitive.
We said no harming the other person or their property. We never said anything about heartbreak, or the cruel act of making someone get feelings for you that you know damn well isn’t real.
“You care about him, don’t you?” Ramona asks carefully.
“Yeah,” I tell her the truth, no point in lying. She’s my best friend, she knows me better than anyone. “The worst part is, we were only fucking. I’m not certain how I managed to get this giant fucking crush on the man.”
“Hate increases emotions, you two started off so wild and I guess that created the same intense feeling and that just slowly turned into lust and then you bonded. It’s not uncommon with this kind of situation, but it is cruel of him to make it happen.”
“What do I do now? If he finds out I know and that it hurts me, he’ll win. If I pretend, he’ll know I’m lying because there is no way I can be with him like I was, knowing it’s all an act. Either way, I’m screwed.”
Ramona’s eyes flash. “Honey, you play. You play so fucking hard that he is forced to figure out you know and you win this god damned thing, you hold your head high and you do
