Without a word, Hannah started to walk away from the table.
“Where are you going?” Kendall asked.
“Bathroom. You two make me gag.” Then she glanced at Rick. And winked.
Kendall sighed. The little traitor was leaving on purpose, to give Kendall and Rick time alone. Before she could stop her, Hannah stalked toward the back hall.
“I didn’t put her up to that.” Rick leaned back in his seat.
“I didn’t think you had.” Since Kendall knew she’d shut him out of her life last night, he wouldn’t orchestrate time alone with her now.
Rick’s eyes had twinkled with laughter at her sister’s antics but when he focused on Kendall, his expression turned blank. He’d drawn a shutter over his emotions and closed her out. Though she deserved the reciprocal wall he’d erected, she hated the strain between them, hated more that she’d forced him to put distance between them. She simply didn’t know how to handle things now.
He stretched an arm over the back of his seat in a casual, masculine gesture that flexed the muscles in his forearms and pulled his T-shirt tight across his broad chest. “Hannah tells me you’re selling the house and leaving town.” His voice held not a hint of emotion or caring.
After the intimacy they’d shared, a virtual stranger sat across from her. She hated that too and a huge lump formed in her throat and remained. This is what you wanted, Kendall, she reminded herself. No ties, no strings, no attachments. Just the freedom to pack up and move at will. No one close enough to leave you behind or push you away. No one who held the power to hurt her at all.
Exactly the life she’d always chosen and the one she’d opted for again since last night. But if she’d gone back to a lifestyle she preferred, then why did she feel so god-awful now? Kendall had a hunch and the answer scared her so much that she refused to deal with the strangling emotions hovering just out of reach.
Focus on the mundane, she told herself. “I haven’t listed it yet but Tina Roberts called and she thinks she can get a nice amount of money for the house and property. Less because of the stipulation I insisted on but a good enough amount for Hannah and me to start over. Somewhere.” Her own thoughts and words threatened to choke her and she had to forcibly swallow over the lump in her throat before continuing. “Arizona’s probably where we’ll head next.”
He nodded and clenched his jaw tight, obviously unwilling to give her the satisfaction of letting her see an emotional reaction to her words. “What stipulation?” he asked instead.
“Pearl and Eldin get to move to the guest house and live there rent-free. As long as they maintain the place, I’m hoping someone will agree. I can’t displace them.” She couldn’t imagine the elderly couple who lived in sin residing anywhere but Aunt Crystal’s house.
“Did you tell them yet?”
She shook her head. Another thing she couldn’t bring herself to face. But no matter her own feelings, she owed Rick an explanation for her sudden remote behavior. He’d been so good to her and her sister, and he’d suffered much in the past. She didn’t want him to think he’d done anything or was the cause of her inability to stay around. “Rick, listen. I just want you to know—”
“Don’t.” His eyes flashed angry sparks, hurt and betrayal evident in his stare and his taut expression. “Don’t apologize or tell me how much you care.”
“Even if I do?” She rubbed her hands against her jeans. He shrugged. “What good does it do me? Or you for that matter? Besides, you told me up front you wouldn’t stay. I just thought this town and its people would grow on you. That I would grow on you.”
She blinked back tears. “You did.”
His stern expression didn’t falter. “So what? Your words don’t change a damn thing. You’re unable to commit, unwilling to face your fears.” Without warning he rose from his seat, towering over her, a giant in both stature and strength of emotion. “And you know what?”
“What?” she whispered.
“I’m disappointed in you.”
The dim light in his eyes backed up his harsh words and she flinched. Kendall had expected many emotions from Rick, anger being the primary one. She hadn’t anticipated his intense disappointment nor could she believe how small and defeated she felt, having let him down.
Every experience she’d had since coming to this small town had been foreign and new. Frightening for someone who’d never known stability or family. How dare Rick condemn her for it? “Well, I’m so sorry I’m a disappointment, Officer Chandler. But like you said, it’s not like I wasn’t up front with you from day one.”
“And you backed up your words with actions. Congratulations.” He clapped his hands in a slow round of applause. “You came here running from a situation in New York, and you’ll leave here the same way. Running from me.” His palm came to rest on the tabletop as he leaned in closer. “But remember something, Kendall. You can’t run from yourself or your own feelings. Someday they’re bound to catch up with you. Excuse me if I don’t wait around for that time to come.”
He straightened his shoulders and met her gaze with a lingering look. “Sorry to sound like a cliché but we could have had it all.” He shook his head, turned, and walked away.
Not once during his exit from the restaurant did he look back. But his words remained long after he was gone, reverberating inside her head until it pounded.
“Oh, God.” She lay her forehead against her hands. “You blew it, didn’t you?” Hannah’s verbal condemnation came on the heels of Rick’s abrupt departure.
Kendall lifted her bleary gaze and glanced around before dealing with her sister. Every surrounding table was filled with eavesdroppers eager to catch the gist of Kendall’s next confrontation. Heck, she wondered if they weren’t taking notes.
Since
