Fabiano averted his gaze, guilt on his face.
I touched his shoulder. “There’s nothing either of us can do.”
“You could run like Gianna,” Fabi burst out.
“She got caught.”
“But you wouldn’t.”
“I would.” I was nothing like Gianna. I wouldn’t even last one month, probably not even a week. I wasn’t a rebel. I didn’t even want to leave this life behind. There was no way I would survive on my own for long.
But maybe I wouldn’t have to be alone. Romero could come with me. He knew how to evade pursuers. Together we could make it.
“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” Fabi asked with a boyish grin.
“Remember where your loyalties are,” I whispered. “This is betrayal. If Father finds out, you’re going to be punished harshly.”
“I’m not a Made Man yet.”
“But as good as, you said it yourself. They will judge you as they would a Made Man, and that would mean death.”
“Father needs an heir,” Fabi said.
“Father will soon have a young bride who can give him plenty of children. Maybe he won’t need you after all.”
Fabi made a gagging sound. “It’s like he’s marrying you. It’s sick.”
I couldn’t deny it. “Benito Brasci is older than Father, isn’t he?”
“I don’t know. He looks ancient.”
“I should go up to my room,” I said absentmindedly. I needed to talk to Romero. Fabi didn’t stop me as I walked up the remaining steps and headed for my room.
When the door closed after me, I feared for a moment that I’d actually burst into tears, but the stopper keeping my emotions in held fast.
I fumbled my phone out of the bottom of my travel bag and dialed Romero’s number. My hands shook and when Romero didn’t pick up after the first two rings like he usually did, I could feel panic slip through the cracks in my numbness. He didn’t know I’d call, but I couldn’t help but worry that something had happened to him. Or that he’d found out about my engagement to Brasci and didn’t want anything to do with me. What if Luca had known all along? It was possible that Father had told him on the phone and Luca hadn’t mentioned it because he knew Aria and Gianna would make a scene.
I was sent to voicemail and quickly hung up. I hadn’t even put the phone away when the screen flashed with Romero’s name. Taking a deep breath, I answered.
“Lily, are you okay? I was in a meeting and had the phone on mute.”
I slumped against the wall at the sound of Romero’s voice. It calmed me but at the same time it made me realize what I could lose if I had to marry Brasci. “Father has chosen a husband for me,” I said eventually. I sounded like I was talking about the weather, completely detached.
Silence followed on the other end. I couldn’t even hear breathing. I didn’t dare say anything, although I was bursting with fear and anxiety.
“Who is it?” Romero asked in a low voice. I wished I could see his face to get a hint about his emotions. He sounded as emotionless as I had.
“Benito Brasci. You probably don’t know him, but—”
Romero interrupted me. “I know him. I met him during a gathering last year.”
“Oh,” I said, then waited but again Romero was silent. Why was he so calm? Didn’t he care that I was going to marry another man? Maybe this had always been a distraction for him. Maybe he’d never intended for us to have more than…what? An affair? I felt dirty just thinking about it. “He’s much older than me.”
“I know.”
Of course Romero knew but I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“I thought,” I said hesitantly. “I thought we could…”
I didn’t dare utter the words.
“You thought we could what?”
I closed my eyes. “I thought we could run away together.” I cringed when the words had left my mouth. Could I sound any more pathetic and naïve?
“That would mean war between the Outfit and New York.”
He said it matter-of-factly, like it had absolutely nothing to do with him. I hadn’t thought of that but of course that would be the first thing that crossed Romero’s mind. The Famiglia always came first.
I’d been stupid. Mother had always warned me that men promised you the world if they wanted something from you. Romero had been kind and loving, and I’d given him everything in turn. My body, my heart, every little thing I could give. I’d given it gladly and I didn’t want to feel regret over a single thing, but it was hard.
I bit my lip, suddenly on the verge of crying. I could feel the floodgates open. It wouldn’t be long now. “You’re right,” I croaked. “I—” I choked and quickly hung up. Then I hid the phone in my travel bag again and curled up on my bed, letting sobs wrack my body until my muscles hurt, until my throat hurt, until everything hurt, but nothing as much as my heart. Was this it? The end of every dream I had?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Romero
I stared at my phone. What the fuck was Scuderi thinking? I’d wanted to kill him so often in the past, now I wished I’d done it.
Nino came out of the meeting room and put a cigarette into his mouth. That guy grated on my fucking nerves. “Why the long face? Get yourself a nice long blowjob from one of the girls. That always puts a smile on my face.”
I stormed toward him, gripped him by the collar and flung him against the wall. His head smashed against it and he dropped his stupid cigarette. “What the fuck, you asshole! Let me go!” he screamed like a fucking pussy.
I punched him in the stomach twice and he dropped to his knees. God, I wanted to fucking kill someone. I didn’t even care whom. I hit him over and over again.
“Hey! What’s going on here?” Luca growled. He gripped my arms and pulled them behind my back. “Romero, what the hell are you
