“You can’t let him treat you like that. You must fight back.”
“I don’t know if fighting Luca is something I want to do.”
“What can he do to you? You aren’t his enemy or his soldier, and he said he didn’t beat women, nor would he force himself on you. What’s left? Lock you in your room without dinner?”
I sighed.
“Maybe you should cheat on him. Go to a club, find a hot guy and sleep with him.”
That would go over well with Luca. “He’d kill him. I don’t want blood on my hands.”
“Then do something else. I don’t care as long as you pay Luca back for what he’s doing to you. He’ll probably just keep cheating on you. Fight back.”
But Gianna was the fighter. I preferred subtle tactics. “I should get rid of this phone now. I need more time to think and don’t want Luca to track me down.”
“Call me as soon as you can. No matter the time. If I don’t hear from you tomorrow morning, I don’t care who I have to take down to fly to New York.”
“Okay. Love you.” Before Gianna could say any more, I turned my phone off, disabled it and threw it into a dustbin before walking the streets aimlessly. It was past midnight and I was getting tired. The only thing that kept me going was the image of Luca going crazy because he couldn’t find me. He hated not being in control. And now I’d slipped away from him. I wished I could see it.
I bought a coffee and wrapped my fingers around the warm paper cup as I leaned against the facade of the diner and let my eyes wander over the thinning number of passersby. Every time a couple walked past me, holding hands, kissing and laughing and being in love, my chest tightened. My eyes burnt from exhaustion and my earlier crying. I was so tired.
I hailed a taxi and let it take me to our apartment building. As I stepped into the lobby, the receptionist immediately picked up the phone. Good dog, I wanted to say. Instead I twisted my mouth into a smile and stepped into the elevator, then slipped in the card so it would take me to the right floor. I was almost calm now, at least on the outside. Was Luca in the penthouse? Or was he out hunting me? Or maybe he’d returned to his whore and let his men do the work for him. When I’d woken with Luca’s arms around me, or when he’d kissed me, I’d let myself believe that maybe I could make him love me. When we’d had dinner together, I’d thought I could fall for him.
I entered the penthouse. Romero was there and practically sagged with relief. “She’s here,” he said into his phone, then nodded before ending the call.
“Where’s Luca? Back with his whore?”
Romero frowned. “Searching for you.”
“I’m surprised he bothers. He could have sent you or one of his other lapdogs. After all, you do everything he says. Even cover for him while he’s out cheating on me.” Romero didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure why I was lashing out at him.
I walked away.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to undress and shower. If you want to watch, be my guest.” Romero stopped, but his eyes followed me up the stairs. I slammed the bedroom door shut after me, then locked it before walking into the bathroom to take a shower. I turned the temperature as high as I could bear, but the water couldn’t wash away the images that had taken refuge in my brain. Luca buried in Grace. Her smile. The sound of his hips slamming against her ass. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling. Disappointment. Jealousy? I hadn’t chosen Luca, but he was my husband. I wanted him to be faithful to me. I wanted him to want only me. I wanted to be enough.
There was banging at the bedroom door when I got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around myself and slowly walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom.
“Aria, let me in!” There was anger in his voice. He was angry?
I dropped the towel and slipped a silk nightgown over my body.
“I’m going to kick in the door, if you don’t let me in.”
I’d like to see you do it. Maybe you’ll dislocate a shoulder.
“Aria, open the fucking door!”
I was too tired to keep playing with him. I wanted this day to be over. I wanted sleep to magically take away my memory. I unlocked the door, then turned and walked back to the bed. The door flew open, banging against the wall, and Luca stormed in. He grasped my arm and fury burned through me. How dare he lay hands on me after gripping that whore’s ass with them?
“Don’t touch me!” I shrieked, wrenching out of his grip. He was panting, eyes wild with emotion. His hair was a mess and his shirt wasn’t buttoned properly. Matteo stood in the doorway, Romero and Cesare a few steps behind.
“Where have you been?” he said in a low voice. He reached for me again and I stumbled back. “No! Don’t ever touch me again. Not when you use those same hands to touch your whore.”
His face became very still. “Out, everyone. Now.”
Matteo turned, and he and the other two men disappeared from view.
“Where have you been?”
“I wasn’t cheating on you if that’s what you’re worried about. I would never do that. I think faithfulness is the most important thing in a marriage. So you can calm yourself now—my body is still only yours.” I practically spat the last few words. “I only walked around the city.”
“You walked around New York at night alone?”
I stared into his eyes, hoping he could see how much I hated him for what I’d seen, how much it hurt
