“What have you done?”
I shrugged, trying to play it down. I didn’t want people to make a big deal out of it. I only wanted them to realize that I wasn’t so different from Serafina, that I was also worthy. I wanted them to see me. Of course, now that I’d seen myself with blonde hair, I realized how stupid my plan had been. “I needed a change.”
“Sofia,” Samuel whispered harshly, grabbing my arm. “You—why would you want to look like . . . like Serafina?”
Tears stung my eyes, but a fierce ball of indignation and anger rose inside of me. He made it sound as if I’d sullied her memory by trying to resemble her, as if I wasn’t worthy of this look. He was part of the reason why I wanted to look like Fina, and now he played clueless. Or maybe he really didn’t realize how much he and everyone else mourned her absence and how little room they left for me.
I didn’t want a fight with Samuel, not today. “I just wanted something different.”
Samuel sighed, tearing his eyes from my hair almost painfully. He gave me a one-armed hug. He held open the door for me and we didn’t say another word until we arrived back home.
Samuel’s reaction was only the beginning. When we got home, things only became more awkward. Mom was the first to spot me, and she looked completely taken off guard. She froze on the last step of the staircase, a bunch of table napkins in her hand. She looked at Samuel, then back at me. I was sure she’d start crying, but then her face smoothed and she gave me a tight smile. Her grip on the banister was white-knuckled. “You colored your hair?”
She tried to sound casual, but I could tell it wasn’t easy for her. I’d wanted to surprise everyone, not elicit this horrified shock. Everyone had always commented on how beautiful Serafina’s hair was.
“I wanted your hair color,” I said. Of course, that wasn’t the reason. The look in my mother’s eyes told me she knew the truth.
She nodded as she walked over to me, her eyes constantly flitting to my hair as if she needed proof to believe it. She touched my hair gingerly. “Your hair was beautiful. I already miss it.”
I searched her face, wondering if she was being honest. Did she prefer me with brown hair? Or did the blonde remind her too much of Serafina and the hurtful truth that I wasn’t her?
“Where’s Anna?” I asked. Sam’s and Mom’s reaction had made me feel self-conscious. My new appearance was meant to give me a boost, not break my self-confidence down even more.
“She’s upstairs in her guestroom. Don’t forget your guests will be there at five.”
I ran up the stairs and knocked at Anna’s door. The door opened, startling me. Leonas stood in the doorway, his eyes growing wider as he looked at me. “Whoa, what happened to you?” he blurted, staring at me as if I was an alien.
I flushed but deflected it with a casual shrug. “I changed my hair. Maybe you should consider it, too.”
He rolled his eyes and tossed his hair back. “I like my hair.”
Anna stepped up behind me. One glance at me had her pushing Leonas out of her room. “Give us some privacy. Go bug Samuel.”
“Hey!” Leonas protested but Anna dragged me inside and slammed the door in his face.
Our eyes met. I could tell right away that she wasn’t a fan of my new hairstyle. That made two of us. “What did you do?” she hissed. Her gaze traced my hair, almost as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
I touched my hair. It didn’t feel any different than before—neither did I. “I just wanted a change,” I said defensively.
Anna looked doubtful. “I thought we promised to never lie to each other.”
We’d pinky-sworn on it when we were six, and ever since we’d always told each other the truth. Anna was my confidante. With Fina gone, she was my only one. I simply couldn’t talk about everything with Mom, much less with Dad or Samuel.
“It’s not a lie,” I muttered, then sighed. I walked over to the bed and plopped down, staring up at the ceiling. “I wanted a change, but . . .” I took a deep breath, hating to admit what had motivated me. “Everyone misses Fina so much. Since she left, there’s a huge hole in our lives. I just wanted people to notice me.”
Anna stretched out beside me, watching me. I kept my gaze ahead, embarrassed. “But you aren’t her. Even blonde hair won’t change that.”
“I know,” I said miserably. Samuel’s and Mom’s reaction had made that blatantly clear.
Anna linked our hands. “You don’t need to be her. You’re perfect the way you are. Don’t you think your parents and Samuel would miss you just the same if you were gone? Be yourself. Eventually, the gap Serafina’s disappearance left will close. Just give it time.”
Would they? Samuel and Fina had shared a special bond, which was natural.
When I didn’t say anything, Anna leaned over me, her face all I could see. “Or is this about Danilo?”
I shrugged again. If I kept it up, I’d dislocate my shoulder soon. “It’s not not about him.” I paused. “He’s still in love with Fina. I can tell how much he’s hurting because she’s gone.”
Anna shook her head and snorted. “He isn’t in love with her. He didn’t even know her. How often did they see each other? Twice a year at social functions. I bet he never saw her private side, only the official one. The one we all have to keep up for appearance’s sake. But one doesn’t resemble the other. Even if he had a crush on her, which I doubt, he had a crush
