“Now you’re an expert on men?” I joked. Part of me thought Anna was right but Danilo’s strong emotional reaction to losing Fina worried me.
“I’m an expert on the rules in our world. Danilo wanted Fina for her status and image, nothing else.”
“But doesn’t that make things even worse? How can I compete with a perfect image? Fina’s larger than life now that she’s gone. I can’t fill in her shoes.”
“Then don’t. Don’t try to replace her. Be yourself because that’s enough.”
“But I am her replacement, at least for Danilo,” I hissed, my frustration rearing its ugly head.
Anna grimaced. “Forget about him for now. He’ll get over her. By the time the two of you get married, he’ll have forgotten about her.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t convinced. He obviously had some obsessive issues to work through. I touched my hair uncertainly. “Does it look so bad?”
“No, of course not. You look absolutely gorgeous, but you were just as gorgeous with your brown hair.”
“But you looked horrified when you first saw me.”
“Of course. Because I know why you did it. And that’s the problem. Now that you’re blonde, people will compare you even more with Fina because you gave them an opening and a reminder.”
“I didn’t see it like that. Maybe I should change it back?”
Anna considered that. “If you change it back right away, it might look as if you have something to hide. Knowing your hairdresser, your new hairstyle is probably already making the rounds in our circle.”
Anna had a point. Most women from our world went to the same hair salon, and gossip was their main occupation. “Then I’ll keep it for a while.”
Anna searched my face. “Are you sure you can deal with all the backlash? People will ask questions. You’ll have to present your new hair with confidence, or people will attack even more.”
I’d never considered myself to be lacking confidence, but things had shifted since Fina’s kidnapping. I’d felt like a bystander. “I’m just so tired of always being in the shadows. I thought if I looked more like Fina, people would finally see me.”
“Trust me, being in the spotlight isn’t all it’s made out to be. If I could choose, I’d rather be someone people didn’t watch all the time. If you’re in the light, your flaws are so much more prominent, and everyone is looking for them. Everyone is waiting for a mishap. The moment I’m surrounded by people who aren’t close family, I’m not even me anymore. I’m this perfect public version everyone expects me to be. I’m public Anna, and it’s incredibly stressful to be her. So, be happy about your place in the shadows until it lasts because once you’re married to Danilo, everyone will watch your every move.” Anna took a deep breath then grimaced. “Sorry, this wasn’t meant to become a pity party for me.”
“Why not? I’ve been celebrating my own pity party excessively.” Even I was starting to grow tired of the Fina topic, but Anna was a real trooper and never complained.
We grinned at each other. Then Anna became serious again. “Just promise me that you don’t change your personality for Danilo or anyone. You are who you are, and that’s perfect.”
I hugged her, wishing I could have Anna’s strength, but maybe I’d just discover my own. “I won’t.”
The reaction to my new look ranged from open shock to exuberant praise. I lost count of the times I got told that I looked exactly like Serafina. It was always meant as a compliment, as if she was the ultimate goal, and while it was what I’d thought I wanted, it only annoyed me. Maybe I’d secretly hoped everyone would tell me how pretty I’d been before and boost my ego, instead they crushed it. But that was my own fault.
I hoped Danilo’s reaction would at least make this ordeal worthwhile. Maybe seeing me as a blonde would finally turn the switch that would make him fall in love with me. It was a farfetched hope, and I wasn’t even sure if it was the triumph I should be hoping for. Would I really be happy if he suddenly fawned over me because of my blonde hair?
I only had to wait two more months until I’d finally find out. Two more months before our official engagement party. My heart fluttered at the thought.
I arrived in Minneapolis two days before the engagement party. I would have preferred to wait another year to make it official. At sixteen, Sofia was still too young, at least compared to me, but her parents insisted we make it public to prevent unpleasant rumors.
Emma, Mom, and Marco accompanied me. More than fifty guests would attend the engagement—close family and friends, as well as the other Underbosses and their families.
I met with Samuel and Pietro in their office. We had plenty to discuss, particularly regarding Samuel’s engagement to my sister, who still didn’t know about the deal I’d struck with the Miones or her future husband. But as always, business came first.
“I think we should convince Dante to risk another attack on Kansas City. Stefano Russo needs to follow his father’s footsteps into an early grave,” I said after we’d settled in the comfortable leather chairs in Pietro’s office, a glass of bourbon in hand.
Samuel nodded immediately, which didn’t come as a surprise. Pietro looked more thoughtful. Maybe it was his age or his more restrained disposition, but his reaction wasn’t unexpected. If Samuel were already Underboss, I’d have Minneapolis’s support in the matter.
“I’ve thought the same,” Samuel said. “We’ve been lying too low for too long.”
Pietro swirled his drink in the tumbler, his eyes narrowed in thought. “Dante’s following a new strategy. Our businesses have been thriving these last couple of years because we weren’t wasting money and energy in useless battles with the
