I swallowed while thinking of how to answer. “The pot isn’t a metaphor for our full experience as humans. I think it doesn’t have to be complicated. I think it’s a pot’s ability to empty itself of burdens that are no longer useful or beneficial that gives it meaning. Willingness to pour out the old makes all the difference. Perhaps a better metaphor would have been a fountain or a river? Ever changing but still of the same source.”
“I’d like to fill you up,” a dumbass guy in the back row said under his breath. I rolled my eyes. Dr. Bhavsar continued.
“Well done, Vera. I personally think you could learn a lot with this lesson. You’ve been holding back a bit. I want you to really dig deep into the nitty gritty of these assignments.” Dr. Bhavsar turned to face the auditorium, now speaking to everyone. “Most of you simply discuss the concept without applying it to your own human experience. Your next assignment, I’d like for you to reference yourself when exploring these concepts. Philosophy only has meaning when we apply it.”
Class continued and I scribbled notes. Jared teased me for not having a laptop, but I liked handwriting my work. The information stuck better. The ninety-minute class flew by, and my fingers were cramping from the information overload by the end of it. “Wanna grab lunch?” Jared asked as we packed up.
“Yeah. I skipped breakfast this morning because I overslept,” I groaned.
“Were you up late having dirty conversations with your uncle again?” he asked teasingly, though there was a hard edge to his tone. I rolled my eyes and shoved my notebook into my bag. “What!” he exclaimed. “We’re friends. We can discuss it. Nothing to be ashamed of. Except for the fact that he’s technically your uncle. And like ten years older. And he’s gone half the year.”
I chewed on my lip. “You sound bitter.”
“Can you blame me? I’m just curious what he has that I don’t.”
The urge to say he had me struck me, but I kept my mouth pinned shut. “I don’t know. I thought we were over this, Jared. If you’re going to keep pressuring me, then I’m—”
“I’m sorry,” he interrupted. “Let’s go grab lunch, okay? I won’t bring it up again. But you can bet your ass, the second he messes up, I’m swooping in.”
I let out a slow exhale while thinking back on Jess’s words.
He’s kind of a whore.
How long until the thrill of chasing after me wore off? I knew it was only a matter of time before he found something else to obsess over. Hamilton didn’t seem like the person to stay long.
“I want pizza today,” I said, changing the subject.
“Good deal. Let’s go.”
We made our way out of the building and started walking through the quad. It seemed everywhere we went, someone knew Jared. People were constantly waving, inviting him to parties, and offering him bro hugs. It was weird because he didn’t seem like a huge socialite. He spent all his time these last two weeks with me. If anything, I sort of wished that he would give me some breathing room, but I wasn’t willing to risk upsetting the only friend I had in this place.
“Jared, my man! You coming to the party tonight?” someone asked.
“I got a hot date, sorry,” he replied teasingly before wrapping his arm around my shoulders and guiding me in the direction of the dining hall.
“You know you can go, right?” I said in a soft voice. “You don’t have to spend every night with me. Parties aren’t really my thing, but you can go, Jared.”
“And miss out on dinner and a Netflix marathon with you? No thanks. Maybe parties aren’t really my thing either, hmm? Have you ever considered that?”
“I’m just saying—”
“Do you want me to go to the party, Vera?” Jared asked.
I stopped walking to face him. “I’m just saying you don’t have to spend every night with me. You can go see your other friends.”
“You’re my friend,” he countered.
“We can still be friends and have lives outside of one another. I love spending time with you, but—”
“But what? Do you not want me around? I don’t get it.”
“Of course I enjoy spending time with you. I’m just saying it’s okay if you do other things too. I don’t want you to feel obligated—”
“Who hurt you? Who made you feel like an obligation? Every five seconds, you’re pushing me away. Is it him? Is it your uncle?”
“N-no. You’re misunderstanding me—”
“You want me to go see them,” he said, his teeth clenched in anger. “You know what? I’m going to have lunch with one of my other friends. Give you some space. I don’t understand it…”
He ran a hand through his hair and stared at me, his eyes lingering on my mouth for a slow, uncomfortable moment. “Jared? I’m sorry, okay. I was just—”
“Talk to you later, Vera,” he snapped before spinning on his heels and stalking away. Fuck. I should have felt bad. I should have felt sad that I’d hurt him, but all I could do was breathe a sigh of relief. I was actually looking forward to a day alone, and that said a lot about how I felt about Jared. I needed to be firmer about setting boundaries.
I continued my trek to the dining hall while smiling to myself.
“I was wondering when you’d ditch him. He’s a clingy fucker, yeah?” My blood turned cold. That voice. I knew that voice.
Saint.
“What are you doing here?” I choked out while taking a step back. I’d gotten too comfortable. Saint hadn’t bothered me these last couple of weeks, so I’d gotten complacent. He was standing by the door of the dining hall, his hair slicked back and his eyes raking up and down my body. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a loose button-down Hawaiian shirt.
“I was hoping to get a comment about the latest headlines involving your stepfather and mother?” Saint asked while producing his phone. I
