“What?” I asked, despite myself. “People are trying to kill us. Do you really think it’s safe to go back right now?”
“Gavriel can handle them,” she said, her voice full of that Moretti confidence that sometimes drove me nuts.
“If Gavriel could have handled them, you think I would have spent the last five years away?” Nix scoffed. “But sure. Go home. I’d prefer you were there.” Nix’s bored tone sounded forced. It didn’t take a genius to know he was deliberately pushing Grace away. So why was she letting him? Why did I care? This was what I wanted, right?
“I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible. Maybe I’ll move to one of Gavriel’s safe houses. They’re hidden. Been wanting to get out of the city for a while now. My apartment is too stuffy.”
That fucking hurt. What was she saying? She wanted to leave me? “Fuck that,” I growled, making both Nix and Grace blanch. “You’re not leaving me. No one is fucking leaving me.”
Grace swatted at her eyes and chewed on her lip. I was about to pull over and spank her ass for throwing such a pity party, but we were almost to John’s house, and she desperately needed care. “Whatever,” Grace murmured. “As soon as I find a phone, I’m calling my brother and going home. Let’s be honest with ourselves, please. We’ve both been in love with Nix for a long while.” She started picking at her shirt as a stray tear traveled down her cheek. I glared at her through the rearview mirror. Nix shifted in his seat and ground his jaw. “We both knew that eventually we’d find him and eventually he’d choose. You couldn’t watch him with other people all those years ago. I can’t watch him with you. I love you, Alessandro, but I can’t be here right now. My brother can protect me. I’m embarrassed. I’m overwhelmed. I’m really fucking tired. This isn’t me sitting on my balcony and watching you with...”
She let out an exhale. “This is me sitting here and realizing that I’ve been pining for someone that doesn’t care about me. And that’s okay. I’m not trying to be some fucking martyr. Or a victim. Or some desperate girl clinging to the past. I’m not going to make you feel bad for having what I can’t. But if you love me at all, you’ll let me go once it’s safe, okay?”
Maybe I was pushing too hard. I didn’t even think when I kissed Nix back in Sydney. I didn’t pause when I reached out to comfort him. Nix was hurting, but so was Grace. I didn’t know how to be enough for the both of them. I didn’t know how to help one without hurting the other.
But I also refused to let go of my second chance with Nix.
“We haven’t even had time to process anything. You don’t know what Nix wants or what we’re going to do. We will talk and then—”
“Oh, didn’t you hear?” Grace asked with a chuckle. “Nix and I already spoke. He made it very clear where I stand in all this. What was it you said, Nix? I’m not going to apologize for your feelings, because I never asked for them. I’m not going to do anything, because you mean nothing to me, Grace Moretti.”
What the fuck? When did he say that?
“Five years of my life, pining like an idiot,” she snorted. I wanted to hug her. The pain in her voice was palpable. “I feel so stupid. I could be at home right now. I could be fucking some hottie at Blaise’s new sex club.”
Beside me, Nix clenched his teeth. “Grace…” I whispered, not sure what to say.
“It’s no biggie, Alessandro. I still love you. But I also kind of hate you, too. Both of you. I should have known better. I should have never gotten on that plane.”
“Well, at least there’s something we both can agree on,” Nix grumbled, and a tear slipped down Grace’s cheek, but she swatted it away and straightened her spine.
“My mother used to warn me about good dick, you know. She said orgasms had the power to cause insanity.” She laughed at her joke. “That’s all this was, Nix. Insanity. But don’t worry, I’m good now. I see you for what you are. I see this for what it is. I’m going to go home. I’m going to live my life—and I mean actually live it this time. I’m going to fuck my way through New York. Move to a new apartment. I’m going to legally change my name, because being a Moretti has brought me nothing but pain. And then, I’m going to forget you ever existed, Phoenix Bailey.”
Nix clenched his fists in his lap. Shit. Grace was on a warpath. “I thought you told me you’d drop the subject indefinitely,” Nix growled.
“I guess I lied. People do that, sometimes. Like the time you told me I was precious. Or the time you whispered loving declarations over my pussy. Or the time you said you were never going to leave. I just wanted one last word in, I suppose.”
“Whatever,” Nix replied.
“Let’s just get through the day, please,” I said. I knew my truce with Grace was fleeting. So why did it feel like someone had taken my heart out of my chest and stomped on it?
Nix reached out and touched my upper thigh, stroking the fire of rejection in Grace. I felt used. I felt like an addict, not caring that he was just putting on a show to push her away. I needed time to think.
“Fine,” Grace replied.
“Fine,” Nix added.
“Fine,” I echoed.
We finished the rest of the drive and pulled up to John’s house in awkward silence. Grace got out first and kept at least three feet from us as we made our way up the drive. The distance was killer.
I knocked on the door with Grace wearily at my back and Nix behind her.
