Tears fill my eyes, and Sawoot suddenly realizes she’s said the wrong thing.
“It means I can never love, Sawoot,” I sniff. “How could I? How could I watch the man I love grow old and die? My children? My grandchildren?”
Sawoot cringes. “Shit – I never considered that. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
I shake my head, forcing out the bleak thoughts. They’re just distractions, after all.
“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything tonight. The plan is still on.”
“You’re strong enough to be able to leave when Bonded?” Sawoot’s eyes narrow. “Shit, maybe I’m Bonded to Garrick.” Then, she shakes her head. “No, that would be too much to hope for.”
I snort. “I wish I was. He’s a good guy. Not like… my triad.”
“Your triad? If you think of them that way, it’s going to be even harder to leave them behind.” Sawoot steps closer. “So, what’s it like? Being Bonded? I’ve always wondered.”
I sit down at the foot of the bed, then jump back up. My bottom still doesn’t liking sitting yet.
“That’s the other thing. I can feel them in my mind. It’s like they have a presence in there. I can feel all three of them. I’ve never felt such anger before.”
I look up at Sawoot.
“This species… it’s full of rage. Full of violence. How anyone bears their sons, I don’t know.”
I say it, but I do know. The universe is harsh and unforgiving. Strong sons will survive, especially with three powerful fathers to protect them.
“They’ll be in your past soon enough,” Sawoot promises me. “I bet when you get farther away, they won’t bother you so much in your mind.” Her eyes flash. “So, is everything the same? Nothing has changed with the plan, captain?”
She moves naturally from speaking to me as a friend to speaking to me as my first officer.
I shake my head. “No – nothing has changed. As long as Themes holds himself together, we’re good to go.”
Sawoot nods. She’s nervous, brimming with energy – all the relaxation from earlier now gone.
“He will,” she reassures me. “He just needed someone to believe in him, like you did. He’ll get to the control room, and we’ll get out of here safe and sound.”
“Just have Garrick and his triad in here at 20h00 exactly. You’ll have a short window to get out of this room and away from them.”
Sawoot giggles. “Don’t worry. I can handle a couple of men. In fact, if you want to take your time…”
I bite my lip. There’s an insane surge of jealousy I feel. I remember exactly how it felt to be ravaged by Aurelians. The memory of my first time with them will be etched into my memory for as long as I live.
Tonight, Sawoot will experience that same ecstasy – while Theme and I risk everything by sneaking into that control room.
“Come to my chambers.”
The commanding thought suddenly appears in my mind, and I start walking before I even process it as Aelon’s thought, not mine.
“Dammit! He’s in my mind!” I look at my best friend. “They can send telepathic messages. Did you know that?”
Sawoot shakes her head. “No, my friend never told me about that. I wonder what else there is with the Bond we don’t know about? Anyways, who was it? And what did he tell you?’
“It was Aelon.” I roll my eyes. “He ordered me to come to his chambers. No ‘please.’ No ‘thank you.’ Just ‘get my ass in gear.’” I shake my head. “It’s like he thinks he owns me.”
Sawoot hides her smile. “Dammit. I mean – I get it. He’s arrogant and everything… But it’s kind of hot. Fuck. I wish I was Bonded to Garrick. I know you say it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, but I want to feel that connection. He saved my life. You have no idea what Kit was going to do to me. His triad were like animals – hungry animals.”
Hungry animals.
That’s how I’d describe the passion of the Aurelians last night. I can still feel them inside me. It felt so right. But if they weren’t Bonded to me, and they’d taken me by force instead, it could have damaged me permanently.
There’s something about the Bond that makes such things possible. There was a line of aggression that Aelon, Vinicus and Iunia never crossed. They didn’t want to hurt me. I can feel in their auras even now that the last thing they want is for something to happen to me.
When I’m gone, they’ll worry constantly about my safety. They’ll just have to learn to live with it.
“Maybe you are Bonded to Garrick,” I tease Sawoot. “I guess you’ll find out tonight.” Then I remember Aelon’s telepathic command. “Ugh – I’d better get going. I don’t want to do everything he says, but there’s no reason to disobey Aelon today and make him suspicious. He just does whatever the fuck he wants anyway.”
“Don’t all men?”
I snort. “That’s why men need a leader.”
But leading Aelon and his triad would be a life’s work. Trying to quench the flames of their anger and pain would be a lifelong project. He thinks I’m his. He thinks I belong to him…
…but, in reality, it’s the other way around. I have all the keys.
Captain Aelon doesn’t realize it, and it’s going to blindside him – but he’s about to lose everything.
Aurelians only care about one thing – finding their Fated Mate. If Aelon was smart, he’d find a way to keep me. He’d find a way to quell my fears about him and his triad. Even now, I’m tempted to stay – I don’t even want to know how an Aurelian feels when he loses his Fated Mate, and I’ve no desire to bring pain to any of them…
But Aelon leaves me no choice.
I turn to my best friend.
“Alright, Sawoot – next time I see you, we’ll be running for our fucking lives. Get ready – The Instigator is going to be in our rear view
