I walked home from school not really feeling anything at all. People spoke to me but I didn’t really hear them, my feet moved but I didn’t feel them. I wasn’t in control of my body, it was just working from memory, going through the motions. My brain was empty of all thoughts, even the questions I was wondering disappeared, vanished without a trace.
“Are you okay James?” June asked me concernedly when she got home from school. I nodded, not really listening, but nodding usually worked. I lay on my bed in the dark, the curtain closed, blocking out the view of Mickey’s room and her talking on the phone on her bed.
“James, come down and eat,” mom called up from downstairs. I slowly got up off my bed and walked to the kitchen. My family looked at me like I was a zombie, which pretty much summed up how I felt.
“James, are you all right?” mom asked, worried. I nodded and sat down, they all watched me as they ate and I continued to play with my food on my plate, rolling the peas around with my fork. “Aren’t you hungry?” mom asked. I shook my head no and continued rolling my peas around on my plate.
“Can I be excused?” I asked, speaking for the first time since English class.
“Yeah. Are you sure you’re okay?” mom asked again. I nodded and went back to my dark room. I could hear them talking about me as I left.
“What’s wrong with him?” mom whispered.
“I don’t know,” dad said, confused as well.
“You know what tomorrow is, last year he was sad too, but not like this,” June said. I walked faster not wanting to hear anymore. What was tomorrow? I had no clue, what day was it anyway? I looked at my calendar, tomorrow was the third of November. Mickey’s birthday. I instantly regretted checking the calendar. Tomorrow Mickey would be eighteen. We had promised each other that when we were both eighteen, we would go on a trip across Europe together, take the year off as a sabbatical before college. When I’d turned eighteen in May, let’s just say it wasn’t as fun as I expected it to be, it was more depressing, knowing Mickey should be there. Tomorrow her dad would wake her up and then he’d make these awesome crepes with fresh berries and all the fixings and real maple syrup; that was the best, I loved real maple syrup and we’d all eat them together like the family we were. I missed those birthdays and then later in the day we’d all go out for dinner or ice cream or to the movies. I’d miss that again this year, this was the second birthday that I’d missed since our fight. I thought it would mean less with time, that she’d mean less to me but I was dead wrong. She still meant as much to me as she always had, which made it hard to forget her and keep my distance.
“James,” June said coming into my room, not bothering to knock, she never did. I didn’t say anything, I was still in too much pain. June sat on my bed and put her hand on my head checking my temperature, which would be fine because I wasn’t sick. I was sad, angry, happy, well not really. I was happy that Mickey didn’t betray our friendship but I was mad she didn’t too, I was a confused mess of emotions. “What’s wrong?” June asked, looking almost scared. I loved June, she was the only one I could tell almost anything to and she wouldn’t judge me or anything, besides Mickey of course. When I was arrested, she didn’t even act surprised or angry, she was calm and helped me when I was angry and mostly, she just listened.
“Mickey didn’t call the cops on me,” I said out loud for the first time and listened to the truth in those words. June flinched and moved her hand off my head and onto my own.
“I know,” she told me, surprising me even more. How did she know? “Do you know where Mickey was the night you got arrested?” she asked me. No. I didn’t say this out loud but June knew my answer. “She was in the hospital,” she continued, her voice calm and even.
“No. She drove past me and phoned someone,” I told her. I remembered that much by heart.
“She did but then she came home and started freaking out and then Mr. Lesage brought her to the emergency room. She never called the cops,” June told me. Mickey had to go to the hospital? Why?
“How do you know everything that she did that night?” I asked, not believing any of it.
“Because she phoned me,” June confessed. I jumped off my bed, like her touch burned me, which it actually did. My own sister, flesh and blood had betrayed me and got me put in jail, I never would have guessed but now it all made sense. She was never surprised or in shock to see me behind bars like mom and dad had been.
