“No!” I said too fast, getting curious glances from everyone.
“You need to move on from Chris. That douchebag never deserved you,” Jackie said, surprising me again.
“I never liked him,” Mom added, surprising me even more. I never knew that, I wish they would have told me sooner. Maybe I would have left him a long time ago.
“What really? Why not?” I asked curiously.
“He was always so smug and pompous. He never treated you like you were air,” Mom said, shocking and confusing me at the same time.
“Air?” I asked, not understanding at all.
“Yes, air,” Mom stated dreamily. “The air he needed to breathe. Without you he wouldn’t be able to survive.” I cringed at Mom’s cheesy romanticism.
“He was always a tool,” Jackie concluded, ignoring Mom’s cheesiness. “Anyways, you should find someone new. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” Jackie laughed crudely.
“Jackie!” I scolded, humiliated but everyone else just laughed.
“Not at the dinner table, Jacqueline,” Dad chuckled. My family was really something else.
“What are you doing tonight?” I asked Jackie after dinner.
“Ashley and I are going to go to a bar for a few drinks.” She shrugged.
“Oh,” I said, a little disappointed at not getting to spend more time with her.
“I can give you a lift home, the bar is on the way,” she told me, an unexpected surprise.
“That would be great.” I smiled. “Thanks.”
“It’s no problem.” She shrugged, it meant a lot to me though.
“Where are you guys going?” I asked as she drove me home.
“This bar called ‘Duke’s’,” she said, making my heart stop momentarily.
“Do you go there often?” I asked nervously. She nodded, making me even more uncomfortable.
“Yeah, Ashley has this thing between her and one of the guys who works there, it’s been going on for months.”
I felt my nerves lessen. Thank God, then they probably had no idea about Axel, if Ashley had been seeing someone for months. I’d been seeing Axel for over a month so it couldn’t have anything to do with him.
“Have a good night out,” I called as she drove away from my apartment. Thinking about Jackie and Ashley at Duke’s and potentially finding out about Axel and I, made me all kinds of uncomfortable. I felt shame thinking about my relationship with Axel if they found out. It made me really think it over and re-evaluate our relationship.
I didn’t want to have some meaningless friends with benefits agreement anymore. I was not that girl, sex used to mean something to me. I had started this agreement, it had been fun, new, exciting and God, was Axel amazing in the sack. But I was finding I wanted more now. I liked going out in public with him but not just as his secret fuck buddy. I wanted him to be able to introduce me to the next skanky waitress as his girlfriend. I felt like a hypocrite but it didn’t change the fact that suddenly I wanted more. I didn’t want this to be a secret anymore. It came as a shock to me but it also felt right. As scared as I was to get hurt again, like I had with Chris, Axel wasn’t Chris and it wasn’t fair of me to treat him like he might be. I knew Axel was better than any of the other men I’d ever met.
Axel
I’D BEEN SEEING LEAH REGULARLY, for over a month now and only her. A first in a long time for me and it was going great. It was silly but this was the longest relationship I’d had in years. Our date could have gone better, if Stacy, one of my previous fuck buddies, hadn’t been our waitress, that had been uncomfortable but other than that it was smooth sailing. The only real problem was that I had fallen for this girl, she had me completely wrapped around her little finger and she didn’t even have a clue.
To make matters worse, it was completely one-sided, she didn’t want anything more from me and seemed perfectly content with our situation. I wanted to solidify our relationship but I was afraid if I brought the topic up, she’d run like a scared colt. She was skittish whenever things became intimate and I had her total douchebag of an ex to thank for that.
I was still dumbfounded how even Mathers, a complete fuck face, could be stupid enough to cheat on a girl as incredible as Leah, she was amazing, more than amazing and she didn’t even know it. I understood why she kept her heart at bay and could see that she was still hurt over the betrayal of her last relationship, something I was trying to help her through. Chris continued to come into the bar regularly, leaving with a different girl every time, only now I didn’t fake pleasantries. I had a problem with him and he knew it. I was just waiting for the day he slipped up, so that I could either nail him or ban him completely.
I dropped Leah off at the train station in the afternoon, to go visit her family and was secretly hoping for an invite that never came. What was I expecting? She had been perfectly clear about our arrangement, just as I had been with countless girls. I kept hoping she’d suddenly see how great things were between us and want more as well, instead it seemed we had become friends and that was as close as I was getting emotionally to her. Karma was a bitch. I was lost in my own thoughts, when I heard a familiar squeal.
“Axel!” I looked up to see Ashley coming to me, in only a crop top and a pair of mini shorts, leaving nothing to the imagination. She was with her usual tag-along, Jacqueline, a curvy brunette, who had
