There’s not much that he can say that makes this okay. He took her, behind my back, to see the man that has single-handedly tried to destroy me.
“I was driving down Main Street and saw her walking, which I thought was a little strange, since she said she had to do homework.”
I’m going to lose it. She told me that she was going with him and told him she was doing school stuff? Unreal. My daughter is in big freaking trouble, but then again, so is my boyfriend.
“Which led you to…?”
“She was going to the funeral home whether you or I wanted her to or not. I thought it was better for her not to go in there alone.”
“That wasn’t your decision to make!”
“She wanted to see him, Teagan. She knew he was here, you forbade her from going, and I didn’t want her to go in unprotected.”
My heart is racing and I can’t believe this. “Then you call me! Me! I’m her mother. I’m the only goddamn person in this world who has protected that girl. She never should’ve seen him.”
“You would’ve rather I did what?”
“Tell her no. Talk to me.”
This should be clear as day. He had no right.
“I understand you’re mad, I didn’t know what to do when I saw her and I didn’t want her to walk in there alone. You and I both know she was contacting him.”
“You didn’t have the authority to act like that.”
“So you’d rather I held her captive in the car so you could handle it?”
“Yes!” I slam my hand on the counter and turn away.
I don’t know what to feel right now, but betrayal is the one thing that keeps coming to mind. My anger isn’t only about the fact that he took her, which is bad enough, but that he kept it from me.
“I’m sorry. I really am. I did what I thought was best for Chastity. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
The thing about intentions is that even while they may be good, they still have consequences. There are things that he’s done and I’ve done that put us here to begin with. I didn’t intend to fall in love with him, but I did. He didn’t intend to have his wife find the journal, but she did. I also don’t know how to reconcile the fact that he intentionally lied.
“No? Then why lie, Derek?”
“She asked me to keep her secret.”
“She’s thirteen.”
“I’m aware of that, but if you and Everly had some secret that wasn’t going to harm her, would you tell me?”
I shake my head and start to move. “This could harm her, though. You made a parenting choice when you’re not her parent.”
He rubs his forehead and moves toward me. “I made a choice as a man who loves you and cares very deeply for that girl. She’s not my daughter, and I know that, but she was ready to do it all on her own, and I couldn’t let that happen. Was not telling you wrong? Yes. I should’ve told you, but I’m also trying to win her over.”
“Winning her over doesn’t mean you conspire against me. Do you see that Keith is the worst part of my life?”
“Of course I do.”
“Well, then imagine when Everly and I had our talk the other day that she told me all about knowing our past. Imagine her telling me that you were in love with me during your marriage. Imagine how you’d feel if I kept that from you.”
He closes his eyes and releases a heavy breath. “I don’t know what to say, Tea. I assure you that I didn’t want to walk in there with her any more than you wanted her to be there. The last person I wanted to see was him, and then to see her face after she saw him, broke my fucking heart.”
I didn’t even get a chance to think about the actual part where Chastity saw him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I had this brave girl beside me, and she walked into that funeral home with her back straight. She was so much like you, ready to show everyone how fantastic she is, and then we get there and he doesn’t even see it. He doesn’t see that she has his eyes or that she’s brilliant. He makes an offhand comment about not wanting to see anyone in this town, while looking at her, and I had to restrain myself from beating the shit out of him.”
My chest feels tight as I think about what it must have been like for Chastity to meet Keith.
Chastity has always been steadfast and unfazed by most things that would’ve sent me into a spiral. She has this ability to shrug things off that I wish I had. However, I don’t think she’s actually shrugging anything off.
I slump down into a chair, my arms on the table, and let it all sink in.
What if she’s not so brave? What if I’m so weak that she has to be strong around me?
Did I do this?
I look up at Derek. I’m so conflicted. On one hand, he acted in a way that I appreciate. Protecting Chastity like a father in some ways. He stepped up, held her hand, walked her through something she was determined to do and ensured she wasn’t alone. I appreciate that.
On the other, she never should’ve walked through it.
They both knew my wishes and the history between Keith and me.
And then he lied.
“Right now, my heart is so torn I don’t know what to think. You lied to me, Derek. More than that, I feel like Chastity could be hurting and I didn’t know! I didn’t get to talk to her about what happened or what it was like to see him. You—”
Chastity opens the back door and looks at me. “I did it. Derek didn’t do anything, Mom. I wanted to go see my father. I needed to look him in the eye, and whether Derek went
