Connor grabs his pole and throws his line back out. “I didn’t say that, but … this is Syd. This is her home. She wouldn’t leave here on a whim.”
“She said she wants to be closer to Sierra and her family.”
He shakes his head and then rubs his forehead. “This doesn’t make sense.”
“I said the same.”
“And now you’re helping her?”
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “I don’t know if this is what she really wants, but the offer was out of my mouth before I could stop it.”
He laughs. “Of course it was. You love her. You’ve always loved her, and you’re back in the town where it was all about you and Syd.”
“What does that mean?”
My youngest brother snorts and then stares at me like I’m an idiot. “It means that you can’t help yourself when it comes to Sydney. It means that you being around her makes you do dumb shit, like going to her pond and screwing her a couple of months ago.” He keeps going when I open my mouth. “Yeah, I know all about that.”
“She’s not mine anymore.”
“No, but neither of you seem to get that. I know you’re my older brother and you know everything, but you’re an idiot. That woman is the best thing you had in your life.”
“And you know damn well why I had to let her go.”
He looks over at Hadley, who is grinning as she twirls the rod. “I know, but while you may not want a wife and kids, you want Sydney.”
“Well, I think we both know that, in life, you don’t always get what you want.”
“No, but we can have something.” Connor casts his line out and then continues, “We aren’t destined to suffer forever. It’s a choice you’re making.”
Maybe he’s right. I made a lot of choices over the last few years that I wish I could go back and change, but maybe my being back here isn’t about changing things, but making it right.
“What do you think of telling Sydney about what happened with the accident?”
Connor blinks a few times and then shrugs. “You mean the whole story?”
“Yes, I think maybe … maybe it could make things better. Maybe she’d understand why I left, and we can be friends.”
“I don’t know, I mean, I’m sure Ellie wouldn’t care. Syd is her best friend, but I don’t think it would hurt. If you’re never going to give in to the obvious feelings you both have, might as well give her some closure.”
“I have never denied that I love her.”
He releases a heavy sigh. “No, but you won’t do anything about it either. You love her, but you won’t try again? You love her, but you won’t fight for her? You let her go, but you’re holding on.”
“How am I holding on?” I say with a bit more anger than I wanted.
Connor laughs once. “You showed up two months ago and went to talk, mauled the girl, and came back with grass stains. Love her or don’t, Declan. You can’t have both. Do I want you guys to be friends? Sure. Do I think it’s possible? Not a fucking chance. You love Sydney with more than your heart. If Ellie and I couldn’t be together, I wouldn’t be able to see her. Hell, she was married, and I couldn’t handle it. I had her one night. One. You had Sydney for years. Tell me that the thought of her with some other guy doesn’t make you crazy.”
I can’t.
Hell, I can’t even imagine it.
“How does this change anything?”
He shakes his head and then grips my shoulder. “That, brother, is what you need to figure out.”
Chapter Eleven
Sydney
My office is a mess—like my life. It’s late Friday evening, and while my assistant, Devney, is leaving to go on a date, I’m stuck here trying to go over a deposition.
It’s so sexy being me.
“You’re sure you don’t want me to stay?” Devney asks as she walks into my office.
“No, it’s totally fine.”
She gives me a knowing look that says it isn’t fine, but I’m not going to force her to stay. Devney has been my assistant for the last two years, and she’s a godsend. This office is always running in perfect harmony because she doesn’t allow anyone slack, including me. I thank God that when she came back from college, she chose to stay here. She’s been a great friend, and an exemplary employee.
“I can tell Oliver I need to cancel.”
Her boyfriend takes her on a date once a month, no matter what, and that’s tonight. I stand quickly. “Absolutely not! You will go on your date and be happy, damn it.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re a mess.”
“No shit.”
She doesn’t even know the half of it.
Devney turns and then stops. “Hey, are you feeling okay?”
“Yes, why?”
“You just seem … off. Is it because Declan is back?”
I flop back into my chair and huff. “Why does everyone assume it’s because of him? Am I that transparent?”
Devney is best friends with Sean Arrowood, and since he and Declan are the closest in age, we all ended up hanging out a lot in high school. While Devney and I are nothing alike, we’ve always gotten along.
“Not transparent.” She smiles softly. “But I can’t imagine it’s easy for you, Syd. You loved him for a long time, and Sean asked how you were holding up when I spoke to him earlier.”
Great, I’m the family topic of conversation. “Declan and I have our issues that are what they are. I’m not off because of him.” I’m off because I’m pregnant.
There’s a knock at the door of the office and her brows furrow. “That’s weird.”
“Are we expecting anyone?”
“No, but …”
I get to my feet again, and we both walk to the door. My office is known as being not just a place for great legal advice but also a safe haven for people.
