I release a shaky breath, wishing this conversation were different. I don’t want to think about him or resistance because I have neither. All I have right now is self-preservation, and even that is on shaky ground.
“I appreciate your advice, but my life is going down a path that Declan doesn’t want. It’s complicated, and we both have issues that neither of us will be able to move past. The sad reality is that he’s afraid to let himself love anyone and not even I am enough to change that.”
Milo gives me a sad smile. “I hope that maybe you’re wrong about that, darling. However, we’ve been out here for hours and I’m absolutely starving. I’m sure Declan is crawling out of his skin, shall we return and torment him?”
I loop my arm in his. “I would love nothing more.”
We make it back to the house, and Declan jumps up, his eyes darting to Milo and then me. Milo leans closer to me and whispers. “I was right about this.”
I giggle and then shake my head.
“How did the tour go, Bean?” Jimmy asks.
“Good, I think. Milo had a lot of suggestions to make the property more desirable to the type of buyer I want. He was really kind and I ...” I turn to him. “I really appreciate it. Your insight is invaluable.”
He bows just a bit. “It was my pleasure.”
“Don’t you have a plane to catch back to London tomorrow?” Declan asks with a raised brow.
“Don’t be rude to your friend,” I chastise him. “Milo drove all the way out here from New York, and I won’t let you be a jackass in my house.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Milo grinning, but when I turn to him, his smile is gone. “I think he deserves to be punished.”
Declan grumbles under his breath.
“I thought you two were friends.”
Milo leans in and kisses the top of my head. “That was before I spent three hours making his jealous side a bit testy.” He chuckles and then takes a step back. “Settle down, Declan, I was merely enjoying my time with your lovely woman here.”
“I am not his woman,” I correct.
“Yes, well, semantics. I have to go find my wife before she spends all my money in New York. Remember what I said, love, ask for what you want and don’t back down. If a developer comes in, call me, and I’ll do what I do best.”
“Irritate people?” Declan asks.
He flips him off and then walks out the door, leaving me a bit stunned.
“He’s wonderful,” I say with a huge smile.
“He’s something.”
“Thank you, Dec. You have no idea how much he helped me. I really appreciate you calling him to walk the property.”
His anger seems to deflate a little, and he runs his hand through his hair. “Come sit at the table and tell me what he said.”
I grab some milk and cookies, setting them out in front of us, and then I take a seat. There is nothing that helps me feel calm quite like this does. Each time I would cry, get hurt, or feel like my world was crumbling, my mother set this out for me. It would just magically be here anytime I needed it.
I dip the cookie into the milk, letting it get soft and soggy, and recount to Declan the areas that Milo was concerned about.
He writes them down, making notes, and offering suggestions as we go.
A sleeve of cookies later, I’m exhausted.
“So, you think any of that is doable?” I ask.
“I think we should look at fixing the big things, but the smaller stuff won’t matter to a farmer.”
I bite the pad of my thumb. “Maybe, but what if it’s a developer that comes in?”
“You want to see condos built here? What would a developer really want with this type of land? Sugarloaf is a farming town and really isn’t made for any big industry.” Declan leans back in his seat and then takes a long pull of milk. When the glass lowers, he has a milk-mustache, and I try not to laugh.
But I fail.
“No idea.”
“Why are you laughing?”
“I’m not.”
His eyes narrow. “You’re clearly laughing.”
I take pity on him and hand him a napkin. “Do you like your mustache?”
Instead of wiping it away, he leans forward. “Do you like a mustache?”
“I don’t know, I must ache you later.”
Warmth spreads through me as we slipped into the kids we once were. Laughing at ourselves and each other at every turn. There was nothing that could embarrass us, and we loved cheesy jokes.
I’m glad to see something hasn’t changed.
He wipes the milk off his face and shifts closer. “I want you to think about it, though, selling this place to a developer.”
“Milo thinks I’ll make the most money that way.”
He scratches the back of his head and shrugs. “Money isn’t always everything. You may not want to have the farm anymore, but this place is where you grew up.”
It’s ironic to me that he’s worried about heritage now. He’s the one who walked away from his family and would’ve sold that farm off without hesitating.
“Declan, don’t you think that you giving me that advice is ... hypocritical?”
“I didn’t love my home.”
“Okay, but home is where the people you love are. This farm has meant the world to me because of my family, but they’re not here anymore. What do I have left to stay for?”
Please say you. Please say something to make me stay.
He looks at me with deep eyes that are searching mine as I mentally give him the answer. I chant it over and over in my head, waiting for him to say it.
“Nothing, I guess.”
“No?” I give him another chance.
Declan releases a shaky breath, but when he answers, there’s nothing but steel in his voice. “Nothing worth holding on to at least.”
I love him. I always will, but it’s
