Once the door closes behind Rage, I let the first sobs escape as I turn my head away from the door. Why did this have to happen to me? They targeted me for reasons I don’t understand. I don’t have to get their reasons to know I’ll never be able to have the man I want. Sure, back at school I’d been seeing Josh. It was casual but he knew I wasn’t looking for anything real. Not when I intended to come home after school, and he was going to go his way. But regardless, we’d become good friends.
God, what have I done to deserve the hell I’m in?
Closing my eyes, I roll to my side facing away from the door. Pulling my knees up into a fetal position, I wince as pain radiates through my body at the movement.
Agony consumes my body as I cry for everything those monsters took from me.
“Babe, you really need to talk to someone,” Rage mutters as he stands at the foot of the bed in my room. A room in his and Cleo’s house. After being discharged, I refused to go home. I’m sullied and my brother doesn’t need me around him or his family.
I’d told Cleo this when she’d come into my hospital room later after I’d woken up. Evidently, Rage called her in, and she brought another woman named Ally with her. They didn’t say anything at first but nearly climbed into the already small bed wrapping me in their warmth as I continued to cry.
After a while, Cleo told me her story and how she’d nearly killed herself because of what happened to her. If it wasn’t for Stoney walking in on her when he did, she’d be gone right now and not married with a baby at home.
As Cleo finished, Ally told me hers. Both heartbreaking and horrific. I swear it makes what happened to me seem like nothing. I actually voiced this and Ally made a point to explain to me no matter how little was done or not it’s not okay and it’s not a contest on who was hurt worse.
Knowing she’s right I nodded my head and sat quietly still with them surrounding me. Sometime later, after falling asleep they’d left, and I barely remember or in all honesty it could have been a dream of Nerd leaning over me to press a kiss against my temple. “I know you’re hurtin’ right now, baby, but you’ll always be my girl. Whether you choose to believe me or not. I’m here and will be when you’re ready.”
Those words have rung through my mind repeatedly over the past week as I left the hospital and moved into the guest room in Rage and Cleo’s home.
“Rage, I’m not ready,” I murmur, pulling my legs up to my chest as I sit against the headboard. I barely left the room except when Rosaline coaxed me into playing with her. No way I could deny the beautiful girl anything.
Being that Cleo’s been sick with morning sickness, it’s the least I can do to help her. The only time I don’t is when Rage is home. He then makes sure everything is taken care of. I love the way he adores his wife and daughter. I hate feeling like I’m stepping on toes, so I stay in my room to give them all space. I also do this to block out the world. I haven’t spoken with anyone, not even Ember when she called. Coyote calls constantly but I’ve yet to take his calls either. I have at least texted him.
“Cara, you’re gonna have to. You can’t live your life stuck in this house. Considering you won’t talk to your brother, who is going out of his mind worrying about you,” Rage states.
“Please, Rage, I can’t face him. Or any of them,” I say, closing my eyes to keep the tears at bay. Not a good idea when you already are fighting the demons away. In the dark it’s far worse; however, if I close my eyes for the tiniest second, Dicky’s face pops into my head. And each time I see his face terror shoots through my entire being.
“Know this is hard on you, Cara. Cleo went through the same thing, either find someone to talk to about this or I’m finding someone for you,” Rage declares as my eyes pop open and stare at him in horror.
“Rage.” He holds a hand up to stop me from protesting.
“Went through this shit with Cleo, Cara. Said that. What you need to know is, I walked away from her when I shouldn’t have. If I hadn’t, she wouldn’t have gone months without me at her side. Now you have a shit ton of people wanting to take you back. One man in particular, besides Coyote. You didn’t see him but I did. He’s pissed and looking for blood. If you don’t get the help you need soon, he’ll begin doing something you would probably choose to have done differently,” Rage says, getting right to the punch of it all.
With his statement made, Rage leaves closing my door behind me. Alone with my thoughts, I let his words weigh on my mind. Sifting through his and Nerd’s words, I make a decision I may or may not regret.
Pulling my phone out, I pull up a number set in my phone. I take a deep breath as I type out my message.
Me: Hey Nick.
Here goes nothing.
Choosing him to talk to is better than no one. I just hope it’s the right choice
Chapter Four
Nerd
Babygirl: Hey Nick.
Staring at my phone, I read the words over and over as if they were merely an image of my imagination.
When Cara screamed, demanding I leave, I knew the reasons behind them, and I was giving this play to her even though I didn’t want to. My girl has been beaten down and feels the pain
