Opening the door I touch the small of Celia’s back as she walks through, jaw grinding. Weird to see a bunch of badass bikers all pretzeled up, mushy and awkward, with pain and regret in their eyes. They want to bury the lies back in the cemetery of their pasts. But they can’t.
From where our crew is sitting, Sofia Sol leans forward and jogs her chin. “What’s in the cup?”
I drag another chair over to complete our circle. Celia sits on the empty one. “Hot chocolate,” she shrugs, setting it on her leg, reaching to lay her other hand on my thigh as soon as I get comfortable.
“What are you, five?” Sofia mutters, reaching under the table and producing a bottle of Baileys Irish Cream. “Sage stole it from the cupboard.”
“Yeah, I did it when Mel went to the bathroom.”
This pulls a smile from Ceels. “Give it.”
Sofia produces a bottle of tequila, too. “Oh, and Sage was a busy little thief.”
To lighten the air, Atlas jokes, “We need to start taking her on missions.”
But his sister mutters, “No, thank you. You do the dirty work. I’m not cut out for gruesome things.”
Celia pours the Baileys into her cup and announces, “Apparently I am. More disgusting the better, that’s what’s coursing through these veins. Isn’t that fun?”
Sofia points her index finger, “Hey! Nothing is changed about you. You’re still the most wonderful person I’ve ever known.” Glancing to Luke she says, “Sorry.”
“I know what you mean,” he nods, eyes somber as they flick from his fiancé to Celia. “Don’t talk like that Ceels.”
As she sips, her fingers are loosely holding mine like there’s not life left in her. “To find out I came from that.”
“You had no control over it,” I tell her, rubbing my thumb on hers. “This wasn’t your fault.”
Luke backs me up, “If Jett and Tonk—all of them—if they hadn’t come in, you would’ve been sold somewhere!”
Sofia jumps in. “We never would have known you. Think about how lucky you really are. You wouldn’t even have known your mom! And I’m not speaking for just me when I say that I’m so glad you were born, Celia!”
Everyone agrees. I bring her fingers to my lips and kiss them. She gives us a small smile but that’s it. It’s just too heavy, this news, to get past that easily.
Atlas leans on his elbows, trying to hold her eyes for more than two seconds because she keeps drifting away from us, gaze dropping to her lap like none of this is sinking in. “Celia, look, it’s beyond shitty, we’re not saying it’s not fucking awful, because it is. But something really great came out of it!”
“Right!” Sage interrupts. “Celia, you were the gift that Carmen got from that horror. Can you imagine if it had been for nothing? But here she is, so happily married, so in love with Tonk. And you and Junior are her everything!”
From behind her cup Celia mutters, “Would have been nice to have known earlier.”
“Would it?” I ask. Her eyelashes flit to me. “Think about it. I mean really look at this. Do you see how hard I’ve been working to join this life you have? And you lived your childhood in happiness, no shame or weirdness thrown on before you could deal with it. If you were a kid knowing about what happened to your mom, how you were born, that would have haunted you. Maybe given you shame or insecurity. But you have none of those things now.”
“I might as of tonight.”
“No! You didn’t have them when I met you, and it’s your choice if you take that shit on now.” She stares at me. The others are silent. Suddenly I’m aware of crickets chirping, and an owl somewhere in an oak tree, calling me an outsider. Asking who do I think I am. Skimming the faces of the Ciphers I land back on the woman I’m crazy about. “Okay, maybe I’m new here, but I know one thing and that’s that Celia Lewis is strong. Not just physically, but in here.” I punch my chest, hold her eyes. “You get to choose what breaks you!”
She whispers, “You’re not going to let me play the victim are you?”
“Your mom was the victim, but you’re the phoenix.” Pulling her out of the chair I take the cup from her hand and set it down. “So I’m gonna kick your ass is what I’m gonna do.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s fight time.”
Sofia leaps up. “Yes! I love it!”
The Martinez siblings jump up, too. The six of us head for the training area just on the other side of these busted mesh walls. We’re pulling off our boots as we go, whooping and trash-talking so much that Melodi opens the window and asks, “Did I miss something?”
We ignore her, taking our places in a big circle on the pad, everyone barefoot and ready.
Sofia shouts, “Me first! Kick my ass, Ceels!”
With a look that says she can’t believe we’re doing this, Celia circles her best friend who’s an even bigger badass than she is. Sofia Sol is something to watch when we train. The girl is quick, skilled, and vicious. But today she’s mock-snarling and it makes Celia grin. “You’re
