She gives me an uneasy smile as I drop the sandwich and pull her close. She burrows into me. “Last night was weird, huh?”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Sage passed right out. I stared at the ceiling for a long time.”
“Thinking about everything?”
“Yes. I hated that you were in the next room, but I couldn’t be with you.” She tilts her head up. “Still like me?”
“I love you, actually, but yeah. I like you, too.”
Smiling with relief she glances around. “My brother vanished.”
“He’s a quiet one. Says he might want to be a therapist.”
“Really?” Her eyebrows go up like mine did. “That’s a great idea.” She frowns, staring off. “He’ll have to go to school for that.”
“That means he won’t live here.”
“Yeah,” she whispers, trying to picture it.
“Don’t you think he needs that though?”
Nodding, her eyes flicker. “I suppose so. But I’ll miss him. Feels like we were just getting to know each other. For years I was just annoyed that I didn’t understand him. Childish of me, I know that now. But this house is such a unit, and I want him in it.” Shrugging it off she sighs, “Anyway, yes, it’d be good for him to go to college. He would love it.”
Speaking of love, she hasn’t said it back to me, but I push that away since she has so much on her mind. “No training today I guess, huh?”
“I wounded your trainers.”
“You did. They’re still sleeping it off.”
“I’m starving and I need coffee.”
Kissing her I murmur against her smile, “Then let me help you with that.”
As I open the cupboard and grab the filters, the sound of heavy boots turns our heads. Jett appears from the hallway. “Thought I heard your voices. Sean, can I talk to you?”
I frown, “Sure,” handing Celia the box.
He waits for me, nods good morning to her as I pass him. “Ceels. How’re you feeling?”
“It’s going to take time, but I’ll be okay.”
Walking down the hall he informs me, “Let’s talk on the front porch.”
Saying nothing I drag my hand through my hair, chewing my cheek to pieces. The foyer is just as quiet as the first day I arrived, and for some reason that memory hits me. A chill slides down my spine as I glance back to check his face. Jett’s usually friendly with me these days, but his grey eyes have no life in them. He doesn’t even look like he knows me.
I open the door, kick it wider like I’ve seen him do so he can catch it and come outside without my holding it. This is the first time without sneakers and I like how my heavy boots make the porch creak. I like it too much. “Should I sit?”
“Nah, stand with me. This won’t take long.”
The sound of a car coming up the driveway makes me look over, narrow my eyes in surprise at a black sedan like the one that brought me here. My heart kicks in my chest as I lock eyes with the man I’ve come to look at as a father figure, the only one I’ve had since I was a boy. I don’t count Alan. He was okay, but he wasn’t Jett Cocker.
“Sean, I hate to have to tell you but this thing with you and Celia is crossing the line.”
“Oh shit,” I mutter, hooking my thumbs in my jeans pockets. “This is it, huh.”
Celia bursts out the door, eyeing the car as long strides bring her between me and Jett. “You can’t send him away!”
“Ceels.”
“No, Jett, you can’t! I love him!” She grabs my hand as my heart flips over. That statement combined with his is enough to kill me. “You can’t send him away now! I need him!”
We’re staring at the guy.
Our lives depend on his decision.
As the car parks it idles at the foot of the porch.
Jett rubs his stubble and drops the bomb, “Sean, look, we put it to a vote after you went to bed.”
“You did what? That’s not final though!” Celia slams her boot on the porch. “We didn’t vote on it! The elders don’t get the only say! It’s all of us now! Our voices count! Sofia and Luke and Atlas would vote for him. And I know Sage would! Probably my brother, too! Where is he? Tonk!”
From under his eyebrows Jett watches her tirade, not amused. “We didn’t need your vote this time. Another time maybe.”
She’s speechless. I take her hand, “Ceels, we knew it was a maybe.”
“No!”
Jett heads to the door where Honey Badger is now standing with my suitcase, gruffly announcing, “I’m here in case you try anything funny.”
Now I’m pissed. Laughing with sarcasm, I demand, “Oh yeah, what would I try to do? Run inside and hold onto the stair railing? Make you pull me outta here? I have pride you know! If you don’t want me here, that’s fine.” I yank Celia to me so fast her head swings back. Kissing her I rasp against her lips, “Maybe I’ll get a place by here. I love you.”
Lost and helpless she strokes my face, “I love you, too! Let me come with you!”
“Would you do that?”
“Yes!”
Torn I almost take her up on it, even make it so far as bringing her with me to get my suitcase. But through the screen door we can see the elders. Scythe and Denita. Melodi and Fuse. Meg, waiting for her husband. Luna, Carmen and Tonk Sr. None of the others. No support because they’re sleeping and Tonk Jr. slipped away to give us privacy. Has no idea this is happening.
Grimacing against my own selfishness I shake my head, grab her and rain kisses all over her face. “I can’t do that to you. This house is too great, Ceels. Your family, they’re amazing. They need you. Especially now. This is the time when you come together.”
“Sean,” she moans, “Please!”
“I’ll stay close. Find a place in town.”
“I’ll come to you every day! You better not be lying!”
“You trust me,
