Sniffling, he nods, “Yeah.”
Dumbfounded I croak, “That’s what he was doing?”
“He thought he could beat it out of me.”
Madison whispers, “Well, no wonder you hid it.” Glancing to me, she gently explains, “And why he thought you were going to hit him. A father’s approval is just as important as a mother’s—even more so for a boy.”
Matthew painfully laughs, “No shit,” locking onto me and holding my eyes. “I’m so sorry. I should have told you. I couldn’t! I just couldn’t.”
“It’s okay!”
His face is twisted up as he looks up at the moon. “Things are going to be different now.”
“Yeah they are! You’re going to get laid more, that’s for sure.”
He blinks back to me, then laughs under his breath, shaking his head.
I’ve got tears in my own eyes now that the shock is wearing off. I can’t believe he felt he had to hide the truth of who he was, from me all these years I’ve known him. All the memories we’ve shared. All the times he told me about some girl he’d been with just to make it appear that he was like me.
I grab him and hug him. “I love you, man. You should never be ashamed of who you are. I support this, completely. Hear me?”
He starts weeping again—a lifetime of hidden shame released. It’s not going to evaporate in ten minutes.
I glance to Madison and she’s got liquid eyes, too. She shakes her head and sighs, petting Bucky who is patiently sitting with us.
I smack Matthew’s back and stand up. “C’mon, let’s go get some food. That guy’s already eaten, but I’m starving.”
Matt’s sobs turn to laughter, and he struggles to rise up. I grab his arm and pull him to standing, as Maddie adjusts Bucky’s leash.
We head back to her place for some delivery. The walk is quiet for a while until she starts telling us a story.
“Did you know this was designed by the same man who designed Central Park in New York?”
We listen as she compassionately describes a distracting subject. After a while of not having the attention on him, Matt starts to look not so broken. He glances to me and I jog my chin to her as I throw my arm over his shoulder, “Hey, did I tell you I asked Madison to be my girl?”
“You did?”
“Yep.”
Her smile is shy as she meets my look.
Matt says, his voice raw, “You’ve never had a girlfriend, Nicholas.”
“That’s because I hadn’t met her yet." Dropping my arm I cross over and take Maddie’s hand, lacing our fingers and giving hers a squeeze. “Weirdest twenty-four hours.”
Matt sheepishly mutters, “Ya think?” Staring ahead he sniffles and after bit of a silence, asks, “What’re your brothers and sister going to say?”
“That you’re an idiot.”
He throws me an awkward smile. “You can tell Zoe she’s safe. But Wyatt and Nate--”
Laughing I cut him off, “—I give you full permission.”
He chuckles, and we all look forward to food and explanations.
CHAPTER 37
M ADISON
T he sunlight is bright again this morning, but the world feels wonderfully peaceful. Nicholas is wrapped around me, his leg heavy on mine as he lightly snores, face shoved into my pillow. I’m smiling as I gaze at his beautiful face, and somehow today I don’t feel doubtful that he’s mine.
But I do have to use the bathroom.
Slowly I remove myself from his snuggles, managing not to wake him in the process. In his sleep he adjusts and his breathing changes. I wait for him to settle back in, before I slip my comfy robe on and tiptoe into my hallway, quietly closing the door.
After my breath is minty fresh and I’ve taken care of what I needed to, I walk out and pause before returning to bed with a curious glance toward my living room.
I think I’ll check on Matt, see if he’s still here or if he snuck out. I hope he’s okay, and that a path to healing is his choice.
“Morning,” he sheepishly smiles from where he’s lying wrapped in my extra blankets, his hand busy petting a groggy-eyed Bucky. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”
“Of course,” I smile, tightening my belt. “How’d you sleep?”
“Good,” he replies, gazing at my cute dog. “They never called you back about him?”
“No.”
“Guess you lucked out.”
“Sometimes things happen for a reason.”
Matt locks eyes with me, getting my double meaning. “Yeah, funny that.” He sits up and shakes his hair into place. “You think Nicholas really isn’t mad?”
“Honestly,” I sigh, sitting on the arm of my sofa. “You know him better than I do. What do you think?”
He glances to his lap, picking at bitten nails. “I think he’s the best guy I’ve ever known, that’s what I think.” Chewing his lip, Matt shrugs, “I should have told him a long time ago.”
“I can understand why you didn’t.”
“Should have.”
Rubbing the sleepiness from my eyes, I shrug, “You’re finding your way just like the rest of us.”
Matthew nods. “His dad scared the shit out of mine when we were kids—he tell you about that?”
“No.”
“It was something else. Came in there like a hero. One of the scariest moments of my life though. When you’re a kid, and you’re getting beaten, you think it’s just how things are. You don’t know any different. Nicholas, Zoe, Wyatt and Nate, they were the ones who showed me it was wrong when they saw my bruises and freaked out. But what was I supposed to do? I wasn’t big enough to fight back. Plus, it’s your dad, you know? Then Mr. Cocker came in and tossed my father around like a rag doll. I was watching it, sure the beatings would get worse, wondering if I should stop him, feeling bad for my father—all those things at once. But inside, underneath all of that, I was cheering. Way deep down there was hope. Like maybe it was over.” Matt wryly chuckles, his eyes on the past. “I even hoped Mr. Cocker would adopt me and I could be
