“Nope.” I stop and hold my friend’s look.
“Dr. Mangal?” Pivens calls from an intersection in the corridor before he disappears, “I’m headed into the O.R.”
“Go, Dev. We’ll stay in touch. I promise.”
He embraces me, and I bite my lip and smack his back.
“I’ll keep you to that!”
In my locker I’ve got a bunch of stuff I never thought would come back home with me. Normal stuff like deodorant, shaving cream and my razor. But it’s the picture of Max, Lexi and I at this very hospital the day Samantha was born, taped to the inside that kills me to peel off. I’m holding her on my lap, and she’s hours old.
I feel burning in the back of my eyes as I tumble an extra pair of pants and a shirt, some socks, and all toiletries into my bag. Never slammed my locker before. Now’s a good time to start.
This is fucking bizarre. Things seemed to be going so well with Elizabeth. I never expected her to pick me because we were sleeping together. I did think I’d be chosen based on merit. And when I chose that specialty I really believed I was in the clear. That’s probably what gave me the freedom to become her lover—I didn’t think the decision was an issue that would come up again.
It was always Janet I had to beat. And now she went and chose…I can’t believe this shit!
In the corridor I nod goodbye to a lot of confused faces. I can barely look anybody in the eye. Dr. Stevens walks up and off of my expression says, “So you know.”
“Windy City here I come.”
He frowns, “I was talking about Cilla. She passed.”
I grimace, step backward, and drag a hand down my face. “No, I didn’t know that. I just visited her last night.”
“She left this for you.” He hands me an envelope.
Staring at it, I decide I’ve gotta open it later. “Was her mom with her?”
“Yes, and her father arrived this morning from Alaska.”
“Well, at least she had them.” Heading out, I mutter, “Family is everything.”
Stevens calls after me, “What’s this about the Windy City?”
Without looking back, I answer, “I’m being transferred. Lucky me.”
Nurses and doctors I’ve worked with since I joined Atlanta Hope throw questions at my exit. Since I’m about to lose my grip on my emotions, I shake my head and keep right on walking.
Climbing into Dad’s car, I look at the hospital, memories flying at me.
Every day here I’ve looked forward to.
I spent more time in this fortress than my own home. The ratio isn’t even close.
Phoning my brother up, I avoid my rearview mirror and as soon as he answers, my voice cracks, “Max!”
CHAPTER 25
C ADEN
We’re gathered at our parents’ house for dinner. I’m laying down plates. Lexi sets napkins by each of them, uncharacteristically careful with how she positions them. Even Hunter has arrived on time and that says it all.
Samantha adjusts a flower arrangement that our cousin Zoe created, centering it on our dining table. “It figures these would start wilting already. They’re sad, too.”
I run my hand down her long blonde hair as I pass by. Max walks in with five wineglasses upside down in one hand, his fingers wrapped around the stems. Dad follows him with the last two, a bottle of their best Malbec, and one of Rosé.
“We should have a Family BBQ so everyone can say goodbye to you.”
“I couldn’t handle it, Dad.”
My siblings stare at me. I shrug, and take a seat. The chair rocks back at the heaviness of my drop, and Samantha rushes over to hug me. “Oh Caden!”
“I hate this. I don’t want to leave you guys.”
Max sets the wine glasses down, frowning hard.
Hunter says, “Here Dad, let me open it.”
There’s emotion in his voice as Dad insists, “I need to stay busy.”
This wrecks me, and I start crying. Lexi runs over to hug the other side of me, both sisters bent over my hunched body. I’ve never been without my family, and I’ve never wanted to be. Yeah sure, every single one of them has driven me crazy on countless occasions, none of which I can remember right now.
Mom walks into the room. “Girls, Max, Hunter, excuse us for a second. Your father and I need to talk to your brother.”
My siblings head out as I sit back and stare between my two parents, Jason and Sarah Cocker, still happily married after all these fights. Her almond eyes that I inherited are fixed on me. Dad’s pale greens are on her.
She’s so much shorter than he is. It’s always been comical to us—we’ve never let her forget it. But her personality fills a room, her curly red hair a warning of her fiery personality. She used to manage a superstar singer, and then moved on to publicity for Dad and my cousin Gabriel. Plus whichever other artist inspired her, she would help them where she could, and keep their head on straight. Since Dad is an A-List music producer, he came across quite a few acts who didn’t have the right wind under their sails. Together, my parents helped put a lot of great music into people’s ears in their own separate ways.
I know they’re going to console me, tell me they love me, they’re always here for me—all that good stuff I want to hear. Grabbing a napkin I ready myself and sniff, “Mom?”
“Caden, I’m not sure why you’re so upset. It will be good to get some distance from the family so you can focus more on your dreams.”
Dad gasps, “Sarah!” He blinks from her to me and I’m just as shocked.
“What?” she demands, eyebrow arched. “It’s not a long flight, Jason.”
“But…but…” Flabbergasted, he drags a hand through his white-blonde hair, paled more by time now. “What if he likes it there?”
“Then we’ll go visit him.”
If my brothers and sisters heard this shit, they’d fly through the roof! I’m staring at her, speechless, my back straightening on the chair. She knocked the
