Pouring into our blender for a breakfast smoothie she’ll give me half of, my sister turns her back to me, then from over her shoulder we lock eyes. “She slept at Aunt Meagan’s and Uncle Jeremy’s.”
“You mean her parents?!!!”
Sammy grins. “Mmhmm.”
I flip around. “You suck!”
“You’re too easy!”
“That’s what all my exes say!”
Her laughter makes me know I won. And that’s all that matters. It’s like Wyatt argued - I’m the older sibling. We’re supposed to win.
How else can we set a great example?
Chapter Thirty
LEXI
O n Wednesday afternoon when I grab my tote bag to leave work, uncharacteristically dressed for a yoga class I thought might help, I confess to Paige, “It didn’t work! I was hoping meditation and some Zen stuff would get rid of this nagging feeling in my gut, but it didn’t!”
“What’s wrong?”
Pausing by the door, my head droops. “I don’t like that it’s only been a few days and yet I’m this bothered that I haven’t heard from Gage. I can’t stop thinking something is wrong!”
"When did you last speak with him?"
"When he dropped me off after the BBQ."
“How did you leave it?”
“Fine! We were fine. I gave him a kiss and, sure, he was quiet on the ride home, but who wouldn’t be?”
She frowns, "Huh," sipping her tea and blanching, “Cold,” before setting it back on her newly organized desk. “Did you give more thought to what we were talking about?”
“About what I want to do?” Dropping the tote on hardwood flooring with a depressed thump, I lean my spandex-covered butt on her teal wall, pretending to bang my head on it. Which I would do if my cousin, Eric's, football career hadn't made me aware of concussions. “I don’t know, Paige! I just don’t know!”
“There’s no rush. It was on my mind ever since I saw you at the BBQ, that’s all.”
“Don’t know what that’s like.”
My sarcasm earns a sad smile. “There’s no rush! I didn't mean to add more stress to your day. That’s the opposite of what I do.”
I chuckle, because yes, the yoga lady isn’t supposed to freak you out, but my laugh becomes a groan and more fake-head-banging. “Why do some people know what they should do with their lives and others are like me?”
She sighs, "I don't know," toe rings winking as her bare feet wiggle it out. “I meant what I said though. I’ve been thinking about it. I’m so happy you’ve brought Om This into the black, and I would hate to lose you, but I don’t think you were meant to be an assitant.”
“I’m more your accountant and marketing ideas person, than assistant.”
“And you’re very good. But…”
“I’m more the in-charge type.”
“Yes.”
More head banging, and a final sighed, "I dunno. I guess it will come to me.” Retrieving my tote, I grumble, “And I wish a certain mechanic would come to me, too.”
“I thought you didn’t know what he did for a living?”
I blink, confused. “What? I never said I didn’t know. Of course I know.”
Paige reminds me with measured patience, “Uh, Lexi, at the party, I asked you what he did and you said you had no clue. I thought it was funny that you’d brought some guy you hardly knew to…”
“Hold on!” I throw my arm up in the universal stop-it-right-the-fuck-now symbol. “I would never do that. I know exactly what he does. He’s a mechanic. That truck he drives? Oh, you probably didn’t see it. Well, it’s amazing and he remodeled — or reassembled — or reconstructed — whatever! He made it himself! You asked where he worked. I don’t know. I’ve never been there. At least not yet, because we pretty much have the same schedules now that we took Saturdays off together! But of course I know what he does for work. He’s a hard worker, and takes his job very seriously. And from what Ralphie says, he’s excellent at it!”
She stands up, eyeing the wall because a Hatha yoga class should be starting any minute. Maybe already has. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Paige, how much do I love my family?”
She reassures me, “Immensely. I know you love your family an extraordinary amount.”
“Do you really think I’d embarrass myself, or them, by bringing some random dude to meet my parents? Or Grandpa Michael and Grandma Nance? Grams?!!! Have you ever seen me bring a date to any of our BBQs?”
Carefully she admits, “No.”
“Have you ever met anyone I’ve dated?”
“No.”
I stammer, “I was only dating that one guy—”
“—Brad.”
“Yes, I was only ever dating Brad since you and Gabriel met, and since I've known you, but still! Have you ever met Brad?”
“Lexi, calm down.”
“I’m really angry about this, Paige!”
“Why are you so upset?” she gently asks, repeating, “Why?!”
I gasp, losing my breath, “Because…”
“Why?”
Swallowing hard I shout, “Because!”
“Why?!!”
Covering my face with my hands, I start weeping. “Because if that’s what you thought, maybe other people thought it, too!”
She gathers me close and rocks my shaking body like the nurturing momma she was born to be. “Shhhh, they didn’t think that.”
I sob, “You did!”
Murmured against my hair is the reassurance, “But I haven’t known you your whole life. I’m only close to the girl who doesn’t get close to anyone.”
She’s right. I don’t let people in. And now I’m an even bigger sniffling, gasping, shaking, snotty mess. Paige dashes for much-needed tissues just in time before things get really gross, and even gives me her blanch-worthy tea for hydration when finally I gasp over and over for air.
I slide to sit on their wood floor in a ball, workout pants stretched tight at the knees I hug. “I like him!”
“You guys looked really great together.”
“Not just because he’s hot. And he is! He’s very hot!”
“Yes, he is.”
“I like him because I am free with him. Able to be me. As wild as I want to be. We have so much fun together! We snuck into Six Flags last week!’
Fear widens her eyes. “You did what?”
After wiping my nose with a balled up tissue, I wave it. “And he was right there, down for it, ready to lift me
