Gasping at the surprise of hearing him right behind me, I turn around. “Yes, I did.”
He’s giving this dinosaur a run for its money. “I like listening to you talk.”
My eyebrows twitch with interest. "Thank you."
The secret-glint mesmerizes me as he holds my gaze a moment then dips his head and walks away, calling out, “Joe, you believe the size of this thing?”
Stretching out his arms in measurement, Joe calls back, “Think we can fit it on the plane, Dad?”
“I’m in. So…how do we get it past those cameras?" Pointing to our surveillance system, the father locks eyes with me one more time. “They might recognize us."
My smile grows as his son says, “Then stop looking right at the camera, Dad!"
He smacks his own head, “Can’t believe I looked at the camera,” spinning around, “Now what are we gonna do?”
My gaze drops to memorize that cute ass and confident stride for when I’m alone later, back home in my bed. A guest clears her throat and I look to where she’s standing beside her husband with a smirk that says she gets it, but I should know I’m being obvious.
Lifting my neck I stammer, "Okay everyone, I think we've seen enough in this room,” cheeks hot.
Between my legs, even hotter.
Yes, we’ve seen enough.
Our final destination is my favorite exhibit: The Milstein Family Hall of Ocean Life. It spans two floors with a female blue whale hanging from a blue glass ceiling, making you feel as if you’re floating in the ocean itself. It leaves tours on a high note. And me, too.
After stating facts that can’t be read on the placards, I free my current group with the standard, “Thank you for allowing me to be your tour guide today and to open your minds to the great world around you, both past and present. We rely on donations to continue to teach, study, and conserve the Earth, so please consider donating if you’re able. And please enjoy the documentary that will be shown on the screen there. It will begin again shortly. Does anyone have any questions before we say goodbye?"
My favorite dad raises his hand, stopping my breathing.
When do you get off work, Zia?
What’s your number?
Ever thought of being a step-mom?
My professional manner remains intact — I hope — as I smile, “Yes?”
“Where’s the best place to grab lunch?"
I pause and adjust my smile to include the whole group, and save myself from embarrassment. “That’s a wonderful question. If you’re looking for a quick cafeteria vibe, downstairs by the subway entrance. But Cafe on 4 is more charming if you have some time.”
He winks, “Then that’s where we’ll go,” and the six walk away.
In fact, the entire group disperses with many thanking me.
But my gaze is on just one man I’ll never see again.
As it is for all tour guides who spend a mere hour or two with people from all over the world, just to soon say goodbye and say it forever.
This is my life.
Nax
On the subway home our sons take three seats diagonal from ours arranged in an L-shape with standing passengers between us, as they animatedly discuss which toy dinosaur is better.
My son Joe demonstrates how the T-Rex I bought him is clearly the coolest, while Elliot argues that herbivores were more forward thinking and Earth-sustaining, so his Titanosaur is clearly superior. Will watches on, amused and fiddling with a football-sized blue whale Josh got him. He’s eleven where Joe and Elliot are ten, but their sizes don’t show the difference. Maybe one day.
I’ve been in New York City just over a month, my son and I staying with Joshua and Will because Bennett called me and said our friend needed help — the grief too much for him to snap out on his own. Bennett had done his best but he’s not good at lightening a mood, having had a rough road when he was a boy.
It’s been great to see our sons get to know each other and become friends like we are. I hope it lasts long after we fly back to Los Angeles. Benny, Josh and I went to college together at N.Y.U., and they stayed in the city after we graduated and married wives none of us have anymore. I sort of do, but the divorce is imminent, so that doesn’t count.
Bennett’s face is buried in his phone, reading up on the stock market. It’s closed today, a Saturday, but he’s researching the latest news on corporations he follows and invests in. The screen lights up stoic hazel eyes under furrowed red brows that twitch as I kick his expensive shoe, “Bennett, your kid is amazing.”
Without looking up, he smirks, “My son is messing with your boy.”
I glance to our sons, and lock eyes with Josh who’s sitting beside me. He shrugs, in the dark as I am.
“What do you mean?”
With a voice distracted by what he’s trying to read, Bennett mutters, “He knows the T-Rex is cooler. Just didn’t want to get the same dinosaur. Now he’s trying to change their minds. You should’ve asked her out.”
At his characteristically blunt change of subject, I chuckle, knowing who he’s talking about. Zia was something else. I had a few fantasies about a female Indiana Jones of my very own, running through my mind during that tour.
“I don’t live in New York, remember?”
Aware that this topic is sensitive to younger ears who’ve only recently learned his mom and I are getting a divorce, Josh whispers, “You could always try long distance.” He finds space to stretch his leg. “Lots of time to get to know each other.”
Bennett’s head jerks up, volume just beneath the din of conversations and grinding train wheels, “Since when did this need to be a relationship? What about some hard-core fucking for a change?”
Josh and I glance to the boys, grateful they couldn’t hear that. They’d definitely have reacted, had they. We exchange a look and my grin flashes. “Benny makes it sound so easy.”
“Sound?”
