Josh rolls his eyes. “Who you’re in a relationship with.”
“Didn’t start out that way.” Bennett points his phone at us. “And that’s not going to stop, I might add.”
With my own personal history impossible not to learn from, I burst his bubble. “Yeah but you’re new. Let’s see how long that lasts.”
Bennett stares at me like I just tried to steal his cookie. “I’d bet money it will. What Christina and I have is nothing like what Joy and I had. I’ve never been with anyone like her. We’re very different yet we…fit.”
Josh watches people getting on and off the train on 42nd Street, a bustle of bodies rushing in two directions before branching off into more. “I couldn’t jump into anything fast like that.”
An uncommon thing happens — Bennett’s face softens. “Josh, I wouldn’t expect you to.” But the tough glint reappears as he looks at me, and whispers so Joe can’t possibly hear, “You on the other hand! How long has it been since you enjoyed sex.” His hazel eyes are on fire, because he never liked Liz and can’t imagine our sex life being any good.
It was, in the beginning. Then when we grew apart it was just…habit.
I lean back a little, knocking knees with Josh, because it’s not easy to admit this considering we all know how I was in college. I majored in film and women. “Things get stale over time.”
“Doesn’t always,” argues Josh. “Didn’t with us.”
I give him a sideways glance to find that he’s very serious. Which makes his tragedy even greater, if you ask me. I knew he and Leah had something special right from the start. A kind of magic I didn’t find for myself. Instead I chose my long-term girlfriend who had the same goals as I did. It just seemed time to get married. She wanted kids. So did I. We were both headed for Hollywood, why not go together? Have someone to support such a huge change of life?
“We went a long time without. Before she called it quits, it had been eight months.”
Bennett explodes, “Eight months?!” making our boys look over. “Not eight days but eight months?!!!”
Josh whispers, “Holy shit.”
I call over to our boys, “He just read some bad stock market news.” This revelation is plausible so they go back to what they were doing while I tell Bennett. “Watch your volume.”
He shuffles his weight, turning in his seat to face me and Josh, blocking sound from traveling and keeping his voice low again. “Nax, when I talked to you on the phone before you got here, you told me you didn’t know things had gone bad between you. How could you not notice when you’re waiting eight months for food.”
On a shrug I remind him, “You know me. I focus on the bright side of life.”
“How is anything bright when you’re starving?”
I jog my chin toward my boy. “I also told you during that phone call that I would have stuck it out for Joe. When you love your job as much as I do, and you’ve got a kid as cool as he is, you’re not lacking for anything. You’ve got no time when you’re working in the film industry. Days on set are often twelve-to-fourteen, and since I’m a producer, the clock doesn’t end there for me.”
He drags freckled fingers down his face. “You should’ve asked for her number.”
I throw my arm around Josh. “I’m here for other reasons.”
Josh barks, “I’m not your project!”
We ignore him.
Bennett sneers, “I knew I never liked her!”
Laughter breaks free from my chest. “Yes you did. In the beginning. But then you got on each other’s nerves because you’re both driven and have a hard time laughing.”
His eyes glitter, “I don’t like her now.”
Retrieving my arm, I pull out my phone and see no service. I’m awaiting Liz’s daily call to Joe. “Fine. All I care about is for this to go smoothly. No custody battles in my future, thanks.”
Bennett sighs, gaze drifting to his son. “That’s the only thing Joy and I did right by each other — no court time.”
Josh swings our heads by whispering, “I caught our guide checking out your ass.”
“What?!”
“Couple of times. I was thinking, with those long fingernails she could scratch you up pretty good, Nax.” He gives me a wink and smirks, “Allllllll over.”
Bennett and I lose it in laughter. What would normally be mildly funny has turned into a release of tension we both needed from Josh. His grief is why I’m here, and to have him joking about light-hearted things like a beautiful woman tearing me up in the bedroom, feels like the good old days.
As the train comes to a stop at 14th Street, Josh exhales, “I missed this.” and we nod, silently agreeing, eyes shining.
Doors give way to a tidalwave of strangers whose personal space disintegrates. It’s standing room only now, seats filled before a woman in her eighties walks on, her gait more shuffle than stride.
I’m about to offer my seat when my son calls out, “Ma’am, you can sit here!”
We watch Will and Elliot shift seats to make room for her grateful smile, since Joe was in the middle of them. He stands in front of their knees, reaching for the steel support bar that runs atop the car, hands of every color gripping it side by side.
“Thank you,” she smiles, putting her large handbag on her lap. “That was very kind of you.”
Joe shrugs like it’s nothing.
Bennett’s frown locks with Elliot’s before his friends reclaim his attention with their loud conversation. They want to see about a dinosaur video game when we get back.
I smile, “Not a bad idea.”
Bennett grumbles, “My kid is aware that I’ve been a shit father.”
Josh and I know the history.
We don’t argue.
You can’t placate someone as smart as Bennett is, and true friends don’t need to.
Josh offers a quiet, “You’re doing better, Benny. That’s what matters.”
Regretful
